


Life Behind

by abriefsummery



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Explicit Sexual Content, Multi, Werewolf Bonds, Werewolf Mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2020-02-27 07:05:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 47,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18734065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abriefsummery/pseuds/abriefsummery
Summary: Hermione Granger doesn't live in the magical world anymore because of the outcome of the Battle of Hogwarts. A Patronus appears and she goes back. Not just to magic, but back in time. She has a chance to fix everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**JUNE 18th, 2005.**

 

Hermione Jean Granger sat looking out the window in her new office, the cup of tea in her hands growing colder and colder.

“Miss Wilson!” A loud voice filled her empty office, causing her to jump.

 Plastering a polite smile on her face, she stood to shake her boss’ hand, “Mr. Miller, hello,” she said before sitting back down in her desk chair.

“Hermione, we are absolutely delighted to have you here in your new office! Vice President of Marketing! Doesn’t that sound lovely?” Mr. Miller sunk down into the leather couch next to her desk, crossing his ankle over his knee.

“Yes, Mr. Miller. I am delighted to be given this opportunity,” she smiled sweetly at him and reminded herself, for the hundredth time that day, that she _was_ delighted. She was making more than enough money to move to a better apartment in London. She had been planning to leave her small flat in Brixton after her last promotion but wanted to make sure she could live alone in her means before she planned to move.

Mr. Miller talked at her about the new responsibilities and how the next few weeks would work - all things she had gone over in her briefing this morning with her new team. At 1 o’clock she stood, ushering him out so she could eat her lunch in peace. She started the long process of booting up her computer before taking out her lunch. She pressed her intercom to tell Elise, her new assistant, to make sure no one else disturbed her today without an appointment, though it was bound to be a slow first day. Once her computer was up and running she took a quick look at flats nearer to her work.

Three meetings with department heads later, Hermione was ready to get home and watch the final episode of the first series of _Doctor Who._ On the way out her blackberry beeped an email from her closest friend, Maura.

 

_**From:** Maura Byrne _

_**Subject:** YAY! _

_**Date:** 18 June 2005 18:22 _

_**To:** Hermione Wilson _

_Mi,_

_Dinner tomorrow my love? We need to celebrate your promotion with too much wine!!!_

_I have a reservation._

_You, me, The Wolseley, 7 pm?_

_Love!_

 

Hermione grinned. Maura’s infectious energy always helped her come out of whatever funk she felt herself falling into. She paused before stepping into the street to type a quick message back.

 

_**From:** Hermione Wilson _

_**Subject:** Re: YAY! _

_**Date:** 18 June 2005 18:25 _

_**To:** Maura Byrne _

_Maura,_

_Yes yes yes, my love!!!_

_See you then._

_Hermione_

 

Out in the temperate London air, Hermione wrapped her arms around herself, pulling her light jacket closer to her. The tube station was only a few blocks away and she walked briskly, eager to get out of the wind. She was turning on King William Street when a man stepped in front of her. A man wearing bright purple robes.

“Miss Granger!” the man with the large top hat squeaked. “It is so very good to see you!” He reached for her hand and she flinched away, hand flying to the pocket of her sweater. She hadn’t seen another wizard in 6 years, not to mention one who was prone to overreacting when it came to seeing her.

“Dedalus,” she whispered, “Please. Go.” She quickly pushed by him. She could feel him walking quickly after her, squeaking out protests. Two seconds short from breaking into a run she heard him stop chasing her and yell a goodbye. Her heels clicked on the sidewalk while tears prickled in her eyes. The image of Dedalus Diggle sitting at the kitchen table at Grimmauld Place filled her mind. It was like she was sixteen again.

Darkness swarmed around her chest, filling up to the top of her eyes, blinding her. It squeezed, surprising her and robbing her of her breath. She raced down an ally, trying to find her bearings among the walls, the quiet din of the London street behind her. For the first time in six years, Hermione turned on the spot and vanished into the night. Landing softly on her carpet, she immediately dropped her bag and crumpled on the floor. She hadn’t used magic in years, hadn’t seen anyone from the wizarding world in even longer. The adrenaline from apparating pounded in her head as she slowly checked her body for any splinchings.

Tears started streaming down her face as she tries to stifle thoughts of her past life. The life she loved. Her friends. Her family. She moved to stand in front of her door. Tacked above the light switch was a list of names. The original D.A. manifest. She had added the names of those in the Order, or the others that fought with them. A reminder of those she had loved and lost. Next to the list was a small scribbled note.

 

_Hermione,_

_We miss you._

_Let us know if you need anything._

_Yours,_

_Luna & Nev _

 

She shook her head, thinking of the perfect life Neville and Luna now lived together. She couldn’t burden them with her unresolved feelings. Hermione walked into the kitchen, putting her hands on the counter to steady herself. Besides, looking at the two of them would just remind her far too much of the Battle.

 

_“Harry don’t,” Arthur said, sitting next to them on one of the benches that used to belong to one of the four long tables. “You can’t go into the forest,” Harry had just told Hermione, Ron, and Arthur what he had seen in Snape’s memories. If only Remus were here. Mr. Weasley was the closest thing he had left to a father now that Sirius and Remus were gone._  

_“But I have to die to kill him, Mr. Weasley. This is how it has to be.”_

_“Then Harry, you will die here, fighting alongside us. I cannot bear to lose another son,” Mr. Weasley’s voice tightened as he wrapped Harry in his arms. The hour was almost up. Neville was holding on to the invisibility cloak. The debris and dust in the air had made it very easy for Neville to see Harry, under the invisibility cloak, sneaking through the rubble. He had yelled out, and no one would let him go._

_“Okay. We will fight. But in the end, it has to be Voldemort and me.”_

_Hermione grabbed Harry’s hand, holding it tightly, “Harry, don’t you understand? It will never be just you. We will fight with you until the very end,” a few tears escaped her eyes and she wiped them away, smudging her face more. Ron nodded next to her and offered a small smile to his best friend. Voldemort was coming and they needed to be ready. They moved to the Entrance Hall, waiting._

_The Death Eater’s were coming, Voldemort striding in front of them, his black cloak billowing behind him._

_“Harry Potter!” Voldemort’s yell pierced the air. Harry let out a yell, doubling over in pain, hands to his scar. Hermione made to grab for him, but Harry was pulled towards Voldemort, his feet leaving the ground._

_“Harry, no!” Hermione screamed. Ron grabbed her, holding her back. Voldemort’s high, cold laugh filled the air._

_“Harry Potter will DIE!” Voices all around her cried out in anguish. All she could do was stare at Harry. Harry was the only one that could beat him and now he was bound, his hands and wand at his side. Hermione called out again._

_“SILENCE!” A blast of magic quieted them. Hermione gripped Ron’s arm tightly, trying to fight the violent rage and despair welling inside of her. Harry was forced, kneeling, to Voldemort’s feet. “He is nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him.”_

_“He’ll beat you!”  Ron yelled, pulling forward from Hermione. Suddenly everyone was screaming again. Just as suddenly another wave of powerful magic silenced them once more. Voldemort started again, his red eyes glinting as he told lies to the crowd. Someone pushed past Hermione, knocking her over. Neville charged at Voldemort, wand out. There was a bang and Neville, too, was kneeling, his wand in Voldemort’s hand. Neville, though vulnerable, was yelling at Voldemort. Hermione couldn’t hear him with her heart pounding in her ears_

_“DUMBLEDORE’S ARMY!” Neville screamed and the silencing charm was lifted once again. Hermione couldn’t bring herself to cry out as the other’s did because Harry’s broken body, now crumpled at Voldemort’s feet, was all she could see. Not dead, not dead, he couldn’t be dead. The sorting hat flew from the castle, forced onto Neville’s head. Flames erupted and Neville screamed. Hermione’s body sprung into action. She darted forward, Ron close behind as Neville threw off the hat, the sword of Godric Gryffindor gleaming is hand. Giants roared as they charged each other, arrows from the centaurs rained down over the Death Eaters. Neville swung and the head of Nagini thudded to the ground._

_“Yes!” Ron yelled, firing spells. They both sprinted into the Great Hall. Harry was nowhere to be seen. Everyone began to fight again, many looking to see where Harry had gone. Hermione could hear Hagrid screaming for him. The snake was dead! But where was Harry? Who was supposed to finish Voldemort? In the chaos Hermione found herself apart from Ron, standing with Luna and Ginny. All three of them squared off against Bellatrix. But she was fast, so fast. Bright green lights erupted from the end of her wand, missing them all by inches. A hex flew past Hermione’s ear and when she turned Ginny was on the ground, her normally bright eyes vacant, unseeing._

_“NO!” A horrible wail pulled both Hermione and Luna away from Bellatrix. Molly Weasley charged forward, her spell toppling Bellatrix in moments. Cheers rose as Bellatrix fell. Hermione couldn’t bear to look at Molly as she crumpled over her daughter. Voldemort’s final and most loyal follower was gone. His scream of fury filled the air, and his wand aimed at the weeping mother._

_“PROTEGO!” And then Harry was there, his eyes burning. His left hand was shaking violently but his wand hand was steady as he moved toward Voldemort. Hermione watched in horror as George bent, weeping over Ron’s limp body. Bile rose in her throat when she saw his eyes, so like Ginny's, empty and lifeless._

_Harry’s eyes stayed trained on Voldemort, his grip tightened on Draco’s wand at the sight of his best friend. People began screaming. Harry! Harry was alive. The two men circled each other, the Elder wand raised high by Voldemort._

_“I don’t want anyone to help,” Harry said, his voice steady, “it’s got to be like this. It’s got to be me.” Voldemort laughed, his head thrown back without a care in the world._

_“Potter doesn’t mean that. Who are you going to use a shield today, boy?”_

_“No one. There are no more Horcruxes,” Voldemort’s nostrils flared at the word, red eyes narrowing. “It’s just you and me, Riddle. Neither can live while the other survives…” Everyone in the hall stood, rapt, as Harry told the story of Severus Snape’s true allegiance, of the Elder Wand and who’s master it was. Everyone stared at the Hawthorn wand in Harry’s hand, waiting with bated breath. The sun burst over the distant mountains and both of them moved at the same time._

_The jet of green light left the wand before it flew from Voldemort’s fingers, hitting Harry squarely in the chest. Hermione let out a deafening scream as the Elder Wand clattered to the ground. No one moved and the whole hall was quiet - there was no longer any need for a Silencing Charm. Voldemort was climbing to his feet, mortal, his last Horcrux in Harry finally destroyed, knocked off balance by the force of Harry’s rebounding spell._

_“DIFFINDO!” Hermione’s voice didn’t sound like words, but her aim was impeccable. Voldemort fell back, his severed head now feet from his body, dying like his loyal serpent in the courtyard. She then collapsed, crawling towards Harry. Everyone started screaming at once. There was an uncontainable joy; Voldemort was dead, and uncontainable sorrow because Harry was - oh, Harry..._

 

Hermione Granger, the last surviving member of the Golden Trio, pulled off her clothes as she walked towards her room. Hermione Granger, the witch who killed Voldemort once and for all, collapsed onto her bed, shaking furiously. Hermione Wilson, the marketing executive, pulled the duvet tight around her, making herself small and willing herself to fall into a dreamless sleep.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave reviews! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing wooo!


	2. Chapter 2

**JUNE 19th 2005**

 

Hermione woke with a start, a scream barely held in the back of her throat. Shaking, she sat up, absentmindedly stroking the slur carved on the white skin of her forearm. The sunlight inched across the floor of her bedroom, brightening the end of her bed. Forcing herself up, Hermione groaned, rubbing her face. 

As she walked toward the bathroom she clicked on the radio. The soft sounds of McFly filled the room. She was sure a shower was exactly what she needed. A reset. Yesterday has jarred her. Hermione wasn’t used to imbalance and spontaneity anymore She had a routine and stuck to it. Apparating home was not in the routine and wasn’t something she had done since she left the Wizarding World. She couldn’t deny the rush it gave her though. Magic coursed through her so violently she could almost see it. Part of her wanted to go back to those days on the run. All she wanted was Harry. Her best friend. The light through all that darkness before the Battle of Hogwarts. But Harry was gone. And she was still here, all alone. 

Water flattened her puffy hair to her face and she closed her eyes, trying to push Harry’s smile out of her head. She was Hermione Wilson now, she was not the Hermione Granger that had fought beside the Order of the Phoenix. She refused to be the Hermione that watched them all die and couldn’t recover. She had to be the Hermione that had moved on. The Hermione that had survived. She would not let it overcome her again. She couldn’t. It was all too much to handle. The dreams she had every night were enough, not to mention being reminded while awake. 

Hermione dressed in a smart skirt and blouse - preparing for the dinner she would have that night with Maura. They had met four years ago at the library when Hermione had fallen asleep among the research volumes. Maura’s oldest daughter had been looking for a volume that happened to be to the right of Hermione’s sleeping head. 

The coffee place a block from her tube stop was empty, as it usually was this early in the morning. Alex, the barista, smiled from behind the counter. 

“G’mornin’ ‘ermione,” he placed a cup before her, “‘ere’s yer cuppa.” He took the two pounds from her and placed them into the register. 

“See you tomorrow, Alex! Thank you so much!” Hermione smiled at him before closing the door behind her and walking briskly to the station, sipping on her tea with a splash of milk and a drop of honey.

* * *

 

As her final meeting of the day ended, Hermione let out a sigh. The wisps of her baby hair blew away from her face, tickling her forehead. The day had been long and she was ready to be with her closest friend and listen to her talk about her hellish ex-husband and how her girls were doing in school.

Hermione walked quickly to the tube, catching the Central line towards Holborn. As Hermione waited for her transfer at Holborn, the bustle in the tube station grew louder. The child crying next to her, the teenagers across the platform, the click of heels. The sounds swelled to deafening levels and abruptly came to an equally as deafening silence. The clock next to her stopped clicking and the station flooded with warmth. Her ears  _ pounded _ with silence, her own heartbeat the only sound in the station. 

The vinewood wand was in her hand, drawn, at the ready. The last seven years living as Muggle drifted away and she was with Harry and Ron, running along Tottenham road, preparing for Death Eaters. The warmth grew stifling and she backed against the wall, hoping and praying that it wasn’t Death Eaters. That something else was happening. A small, bright, blue wisp flitted across the tracks, coming towards her. She moved closer. A Patronus. Hermione was inches from the edge of the track, her wand hand stretched out towards the little wisp.

A train sped past and the sounds of the station roared back to life. Hermione jumped away from the tracks, crying out from the now thunderous sounds in her ears. The people around her turned to look, eyes flickering to the wand in her hand. She blushed, stowing the wand quickly away. She scanned the station, her heart racing. Someone had cast a Patronus Charm. They must have. But why? If there were no Dementors in the station, there would be no need for the spell. She must be seeing things. Hearing things. The thought scared her. What if something had happened to her brain? Maybe a curse or a hex had been placed-  _ no. _

She was living as a muggle now and that’s what it must be. Some sort of Muggle delusion. Though, it’s not like she could go to a muggle shrink and explain her terror about wands and dark wizards. They would call her crazy and lock her up. No. She must just be tired. It had been a very trying night yesterday, her sleep was fitful and nowhere near restful. 

She boarded the next train, the trembling in her hands just wouldn’t stop. It was getting frustrating, all the recent, unexpected reminders of her old life. It was one thing to think about those she lost, when she was in her own home, but confronted out in the open like this? It was too much for her, and too much for the Muggles who had heard her cry out, wand at the ready. Her heart was racing. She felt like she had seven years ago, death at every corner. What if there was someone here? Watching her? 

The Wizarding World was at peace - at least that’s what the Sunday Prophet told her. An owl still dropped it at her window every Sunday morning. The world was a very different place than it was when she was fighting Death Eaters in coffee shops and running from Snatchers in the forest. The first year after the war Kingsley had given her an Auror shadow, just in case any of Voldemort’s rogue followers tried to ambush her. None did, though, and when she had insisted Kingsley get rid of the detail, he had no reason to deny her the request. 

It was a quick ride to Green Park station. Tourists ambled about in the early summer evening, many probably walking toward Buckingham Palace or 10 Downing Street. Hermione walked deliberately past them and past the Ritz to the front door of the Wolseley. The large cafe had ornate windows lining the street and the inside was just as spectacular with large, black columns and sparkling chandeliers. It was their favorite place to go when they wanted to feel ‘fancy’.

“Hermione!” Maura waved from their usual table in the back along the long booth. “My love,” she kissed Hermione quickly on both cheeks, “I am so happy to see you!”

“Me too, it’s been a long few days and I could really do for a drink,” Hermione said as she flopped down next to Maura on the plush leather bench, grabbing for the drink menu. 

Maura grinned, “I think today is a bubbly kind of night!” The server appeared the moment Maura spoke. She ordered a bottle of champagne for the two of them. “Now, tell me everything. How is the new position? Have you picked a new flat yet? Do you have your own assistant?”

“It’s fine, nothing too hard. It’s very similar to what I used to do, now I just actually have the authority to tell people what to do. It’s rather dull. I don’t get to do any marketing work - just approving what everyone else does. And  _ yes _ I have my own assistant. She’s a delight. Her name is Elise and she knows how I take my tea.”

“Someone who knows how to take your tea! She’s definitely a keeper!” Maura laughed, tossing her long ginger hair behind her back. The red hair glinted under the dim light of the chandelier. 

_ Ginny’s hair splayed out behind her on the castle floor _ . Hermione quickly closed her eyes, trying to push the empty stare of her friend from her memory. 

“Hermione?” Maura’s soft voice pulled her from her thoughts and she opened her eyes. “Are you alright?”

Hermione forced a smile, “I’m fine, I just need a drink,” the young server walked over and uncorked their bottle. The bubbles tickled her lips and her smile spread across her lips with more ease. “Really, I’m okay. Just tired, and starving. Should we start with oysters?”

* * *

“My love, please let us do this again soon. I have so many more things to tell you about the horrendous things Stephen said to Maeve’s teacher,” Maura squeezed her hand tight as they stood outside of Maura’s flat. Hermione was ready to go home.

“We will, I promise,” she waved at her friend as she climbed the stairs. Hermione swiftly turned to catch her bus. She felt lighter now that she had created some sense of normalcy with Maura.

The bus was crowded as she scrambled to the top level, sliding past a man to sit next to the window. Little patters of rain started to trail down the window as the streets of London passed beneath her. She really loved being with Maura. She reminded Hermione of her mother, Emilia. Maura’s smile was vibrant and infectious. It brightened every room she was in, just like her mom’s had. 

It was easier to not be sad about her parents. They were still alive, living a fulfilling life. But they were living in Australia, as Monica and Wendell Wilkins, in a small cottage outside of Perth. She had gone to visit them after the Battle of Hogwarts and tried to reverse her memory charm, but the charms were permanent unless a practiced Legilimens could get in there and get the memories out by force. It would be far too dangerous to attempt for they could end up with no memories at all, just shells of people.

Hermione decided to get off her bus early and walk the rest of the way home in the hopes she could clear her head. The summer air was cooler than when she had left this morning, causing a shiver to run through her. Her short heels clicked on the street as she turned into Max Roach park. She wondered if she should stop by Tesco and pick up some things for the day tomorrow. It was a Saturday and she planned to stay in and watch rubbish television all day. Maybe she should make a cake and take it over to Maura and her girls. 

A flash of blue-white to her left caught her eye, she spun to face it, warmth spreading over her. In seconds her wand was out. Without taking her eyes off the wisp of light Hermione kicked off her shoes, grounding herself. There was no way she could run with those shoes on.

“Who’s there?” she called out, proud that her voice wasn’t shaking as badly as her left hand was. Her wand hand was as steady as ever, trained on the blue wisp. It pulsed and moved away. “Who is here?” Hermione called out again, eyes straining in the darkness surrounding the light. Against better judgment, she stepped towards the Patronus. Death Eaters couldn’t often cast Patronus Charms, so maybe it was safe to follow the little light. Even with her thoughts easing her shaky breaths, Hermione kept her wand up, prepared for a fight. 

After walking for several minutes the Patronus stopped. She tried to make out what kind of animal it was, to find any clue to whose Patronus it could possibly be, but the charm did not find a corporeal form. The blue light grew brighter, forcing Hermione to shield her eyes. 

“Hermione Granger,” the Patronus spoke, the sound almost deafening. She prayed there were no Muggles around to hear the deep male voice. “This is not the way. You can change it all.” She couldn’t place the voice but it sounded so familiar. The voice was gruff and rugged. Her panic swelled again and the Patronus disappeared in a blast of white light. On the ground among the dark grass, bright red glinted in the moonlight. It was small, smaller than the one she had used in her third year, but the sand was bright gold, surrounded by shiny red metal. Runes that even she didn’t know were etched into the two outer rings.

Where had this come from? She knew she had to take it to the Ministry, to the Department of Mysteries. Looking around for Muggles, Hermione prepared to apparate. She didn’t want to go back to the Ministry, but it was the right thing to do. The time turner started spinning rapidly and she was ripped backward, a familiar tug deep in her gut.


	3. Chapter 3

**JUNE 20th, 1995**

 

Hermione landed softly on the hardwood floor. Her knees buckled and her wand flew out of her hand, clattering across the floor. Lunging for her wand, she held fast to the time turner in her left hand. She looked up at the ticking clock in the corner, trying to find her bearings. Blanching, she realized she was in Grimmauld Place.

Since when could time turners move you in space and not time? She was all the way across London, the closest Tube station was Holborn. Footsteps sounded overhead and she pushed herself into Kreacher’s closet. It smelled _disgusting_ \- like blood and soured milk. Hermione screwed up her face when she thought of Kreacher waiting for them with soup after they infiltrated the Ministry. She hadn’t seen him since he charged into the Battle of Hogwarts with the other house-elves from the castle.

“ _Blood traitors and filth in mistress’ home… oh yes, the young master will get what is coming-_ ” Kreacher stopped, eyes wide at Hermione, “ _Mudbloods in Kreacher's closet! Mudbloods in Kreacher’s things!_ ” He jerked toward Hermione.

“Kreacher!” She hissed, trying to stay quiet, “It’s me! It’s Hermione!” A glob of the house elf’s spit landed on Hermione’s temple. She winced, holding him at arm's length as she wiped the side of her face. His grumbling got louder and would surely bring attention to her if there were other people in the house. She wrapped her arm around his waist, gagging at the smell, and put a hand over his mouth. People were coming into the kitchen, one laughing a loud barking laugh. _Sirius._

“You’re right, Moony, he’ll do something like James and surprise us all,” Sirius said, chuckling more, “Honestly that boy has been through so much this year - we all have. I hope Dumbledore will let him come stay with me,” The chairs creaked as the two of them sat down at the table, “Accio Firewhiskey!” Hermione heard the bottle and glasses land gently on the table.

“Padfoot, I have a meeting with Dumbledore in Hogsmeade. I can’t be pissed when I go,” Remus said, admonishing Sirius, “besides is 9 o’clock in the morning, you drunk.”

“I am nothing if not consistent, Remus.” Sirius poured the firewhiskey at the same moment Kreacher’s teeth found Hermione’s hand. She cried out, releasing the small elf. Chairs fell over, clattering on the floor and the door flew open with a loud bang. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black stood in front of her, their wands trained immediately at her heart. Raising her hands up in surrender, Hermione dropped her wand. Blood trickled down her forearm, pitter-pattering on the wooden floor.

“Please,” She whispered, closing her eyes. These were her friends. Her dead friends. She couldn’t look at them. She saw them so clearly with her eyes screwed shut. The look on Remus’ face when he told her Sirius had died. Remus sitting in this kitchen, a newly expectant father. Remus dead, limbs spread eagle on the Hogwarts floor. “I mean no harm, please, let me explain,” Hermione tried to steady her voice, make it stronger, louder. But she faltered and tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, despite her desperate attempt to reel them in. Kreacher breathed heavily in the corner, watching the scene before him.

“Hermione?” Remus whispered in disbelief, glancing at Sirius. He looked just as confused as Remus sounded. Hermione was here. But this Hermione’s hair was longer. She was taller. Her face had filled out. Her eyes fluttered open and found his. Though her hands were shaking and tears leaked down her dirty cheeks, her eyes held his fiercely.

“Ask me something only I would know.”

“I…” Remus stuttered, looking to Sirius. His friend shrugged, shaking his head in disbelief. “What is Hermione Granger’s boggart?” Surprising herself and the two men, Hermione laughed bitterly and the tears ran faster down her cheeks.

“When you knew me, Remus, my boggart was Professor McGonagall telling me I had failed everything. It was the only thing I couldn’t get past in your final exam.”

“Is that right, Moony?” Sirius asked, still staring wide-eyed at the young woman in front of him. Remus nodded. “Okay, what have the three of you been calling me while I’ve been in hiding?”

“Snuffles,” she answered immediately, her bright eyes finally locking with his. Sirius visibly relaxed and so did Remus. Hermione however still held her hands up in surrender, closing her eyes once more. She had her lips pressed tightly together in an effort to stop everything from exploding out of her. It was too much. It was all too much. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, could barely stand. Her abdomen clenched and she pushed past the two men. She ran to the kitchen sink and emptied the contents of her stomach. Suddenly, Remus’ hands were on her, pulling her hair from her face and rubbing her back. Sirius stood to the side, watching the young woman heave, feeling helpless. Remus locked eyes with him, concern etched on his face. This wasn’t the fourteen-year-old girl that they knew. This was an adult who had been through something horrible, they could see it in her eyes and the premature lines on her face. Sirius wondered aloud about how she was here.

“Let’s talk about that later, Padfoot,” Remus hissed at him, handing Hermione a kitchen cloth.

“No, no,” she choked out, straightening her spine, “Let’s talk about it now. I am going to get my wand now.” She went back into Kreacher’s closet, wrapping her bleeding hand in the kitchen towel. She ripped the time turner out of his hands and grabbed her wand. She then picked him up by the back of his pillowcase. “Sirius, you need to order him to not tell anyone about what happened. About me. About this.” She lifted up the shining red time turner by its long chain. Sirius and Remus stood gaping at it.

“What _is_ that?” Sirius moved closer and Hermione raised her wand.

“You have to order him, Sirius!” She growled, voice dangerously low, “Right now.” He stared at her, unblinking, awed at the power she held in the room. He looked down at Kreacher.

“I forbid you from speaking about this to anyone, Kreacher. You cannot talk about anything that has happened in the past hour. You will not talk about Hermione. You will not talk about the time turner.” Kreacher bowed low to Sirius.

“ _Mudbloods in Kreacher’s house. Mistress would be so disappointed in her blood traitor son._ ”

“Yes Kreacher,” Remus called from behind Sirius, “I am sure she would.” The three of them watched him grumble his way out of the room. Hermione tossed her hair back, looking at the two men in front of her. Her breath hitched and she could feel the need to dissolve into tears rear up again. Stiffly, she pulled out the chair and sat down, placing the time turner and her wand on the table.

“Hermione, what is going on?” Sirius asked softly, falling back into his seat next to his firewhiskey. With a flick of his wand, another glass landed in front of Hermione. He filled it more than halfway and she took a large gulp, the burning in her throat helping her return to herself. Remus sat down next to her and their eyes met again.

“You can tell us. Whatever it is.” He reassured her, a soft smile on his lips.

“When am I?” She asked, eyes not leaving Remus.

“June 20th, 1995,” Sirius answered. She couldn’t look at him, knowing what she knew.

“Okay,” The memories of her fourth year at Hogwarts came to her easily. “I come from 2005,” Both of them inhaled sharply. Ten years in the future. “I don’t know how to make this less uncomfortable. I didn’t expect to come here. I was walking in a park and a Patronus appeared. I followed it and it lead me to this,” she gestured to the time turner, “I was going to take it to the Ministry and it started spinning and now I’m here. I don’t know how or why, but I am. And now I don’t know what to do.” Hermione’s voice broke and tears started running from the corners of her eyes again.

“Hermione,” Remus said gruffly, placing his hand on hers, “I know. But we are going to work on this together. What do you need right now?” She pushed her glass forward and Sirius let out his barking laugh, filling it again. “Okay. So we drink. And we will figure it out.

“I’m just not sure how much I should divulge at the moment… I don’t want to change things prematurely…”

“Will it be okay, Hermione?” Remus asked, squeezing her hand. “Whatever it is you’re here for? Will it be alright?”

Hermione sighed, searching his face. Remus couldn’t help but notice the tears that filled her eyes again before she blinked them away. “I hope so, Remus. I really, really do. I’m going to try to make that happen. But for now, I would like to drink more firewhiskey.”

“Now, _that_ I can do,” Sirius grinned, twitching his wand. Another bottle of firewhiskey appeared in his hand. For the first time, Hermione smiled, holding out her glass. Remus tossed back the remains of his glass and slid it to Sirius. “You sure, Moony? Don’t you have that meeting with Dumbledore?”

“I’ll send him an owl. This takes precedence I think,” he took the refilled glass from his best friend.

* * *

At some point, they ended up in the library. They decided to engage themselves in a game of Exploding Snap in the hopes it could distract them from the fact that there was so much this Hermione couldn’t, or wouldn’t, tell them yet. But she was undoubtedly Hermione. She had the same quips, the same laugh, the same sparkle in her eye that Remus saw when she was in his class at thirteen.

“Alright, I think I should be off,” Remus hiccuped, swaying where he stood. “I’ve some sleep to have I think,” He was slurring his words and Hermione couldn’t help the smirk on her face as she watched her old professor stumble over to the fireplace.

Sirius grumbled from his place on the large leather couch, “G’night, Moony. Come over again in the morning?” His words were startlingly clear for the amount of firewhiskey he had put down. Hermione had promised them an explanation first thing in the morning.

Remus stood in the fireplace, black soot somehow already on his face, “O’ course, Pads! I love you!” He threw down the Floo Powder “Lupid Cottage!”

“Did he just say ‘Lupid’?” Concern was etched on Hermione’s face as she stood, moving closer to the fire.

“Hah! Yeah, he did. We did that so randoms couldn’t find his house in the Floo Network. Dumbledore wanted it open to everyone in the-” Sirius broke off, realizing that he didn’t know who he was speaking to.

“I know about the Order, Sirius,” she sighed, taking a seat in the armchair across from him. “I know about everything. I guess it can’t hurt to tell you the things you already know,” she searched his face, her mind as clear as his was, even with the firewhiskey burning in her veins. “That the Order is worried about Voldemort coming to power again, that Dumbledore is slowly reaching out to old allies from the first war.”

“You say his name now,” Sirius remarked, “Hermione doesn’t say his name.”

“No, I didn’t. But I do now. Dumbledore once told Harry ‘fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself’, and I firmly believe that.”

“So what else do you know that I know?” He asked, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“I know about Frank and Alice Longbottom and how they were your friends. I know Bellatrix did that to them,” Sirius’ eyes darkened at the mention of the name.

“Ah, yes, my cousin.” It took everything in Hermione to not tell him right then that in a years time he would be dead. That his death would be pointless and Harry would feel so alone. That the same cousin who would kill him would slice the slur into her covered arm.

“I should go to bed, Sirius. I’ve had a really hard day,” Sirius stood and held his hand out to her, “Though maybe we should finish this first?” She lifted up the bottle of firewhiskey. Only about a 4th was left. Sirius pulled the bottle from her hand and flicked the top off with a small ‘ _pop_ ’. He held the bottle up to her parted lips and tilted it up, helping the amber liquid run down her throat. The sting radiated through her whole body. Hermione licked her burning lips while Sirius finished off the bottle. She was flushed. And so was he. His grey eyes bore holes into hers. She couldn’t help her breath quickening under his gaze.

Hermione took a step back, looking down at her toes. Sirius let out a soft chuckle as he sat the bottle down on the table. He put his hand on the small of her back, “Come on, Hermione. Let’s get you to sleep,” He murmured, leading her up the stairs past the giant troll leg umbrella stand. “For tonight, why don’t you sleep in here,” He gestured to the door bearing his name, “I’ll sleep in a different room. We haven’t cleaned out many yet but we can get you set up in one tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she whispered, the realization of her situation hitting her again. She hadn’t been in Sirius’ room before it was trashed by Snape, and hadn’t spent much time in there after Harry moved in. The walls were littered with pictures, the largest being a group of three young men, all laughing. The picture was folded over so the arm of the fourth man was visible but not his face.

“That’s James, Remus, and I the day we finished Hogwarts,” Sirius told her, deep sadness in his soft voice. Hermione could see the lake and the Whomping Willow in the background. “Lily took this picture,” he moved forward and touched the picture next to it. Lily and James holding a squirming baby. Harry. Hermione rushed to Sirius’ side and hungrily searched the picture. People weren’t exaggerating when they said James looked just like Harry. The little boy was gripping James’ hair and tugging. Hermione let out a laugh, tears springing to her eyes once more. Harry was alive here. He was alive. Why hadn’t she thought of that before now?

“Thank you,” she turned to face him and saw that his eyes were also glistening with tears. He rapidly tried to blink them away as Hermione took his hand. “We can talk more tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright,” he gave her hand a small squeeze before walking from the room, “Goodnight, Hermione.”

“Goodnight, Sirius.”


	4. Chapter 4

**JUNE 21st, 1995**

 

_“I am going to ask you again! Where did you get this sword? WHERE?” Bellatrix screeched, digging the point of her wand deep into the flesh of Hermione’s cheek._

_“We found it - we found it - PLEASE!”_

_Bellatrix was laughing bitterly as Hermione screamed. She was aflame. Every tiny cell in her body was spasming. Needles were ripping into her insides. She must be dead, she must._

_“You lying little Mudblood filth! Tell me the fucking truth!” She couldn’t breathe. Every inhale was agony, waiting for the next blow. She couldn’t give in, she couldn’t. “CRUCIO!” It was better to be dead. Please, oh please, let her stop breathing. Let it end._

_“It’s a copy! Just a copy!” Blood and bile sputtered from her mouth as she spoke. The world went mercifully black for a moment before Hermione felt herself splitting open again._

_When it stopped, Hermione thought it must finally be time for them to kill her. Beautiful, beautiful death would come and the pain would end. And then her arm exploded with pain. She begged for the curse, begged to be tortured again. The pain from the knife was like none she had ever known. The torment was unrelenting as Bellatrix sliced into her skin, over and over. Blood poured from the cursed wound as she convulsed.  It was like her body was being turned inside out like her skin was being pulled off her muscles like her muscles were being pulled off her bones. Hermione realized she was screaming and tried to close her mouth, snuff out the sounds. No matter how hard she tried to will herself to stop, her screams reverberated off the walls._

_“HERMIONE!” Ron was yelling for her. She tried calling for him, but unintelligible wails were all that could leave her mouth, “HERMIONE!”_

 

“Hermione! Fuck! Hermione, wake up! _Rennervate_! Wake up, please!” Sirius held Hermione’s thrashing shoulders to the bed while she shrieked, in pain. In terror. “Hermione!” Her eyes flew open and she shoved him aside, her wand immediately in her hand and pointing at his heart. “Hermione…” His voice became softer, more subdued, “You’re okay. It’s me. Sirius. You’re at Grimmauld Place. It’s okay,” Her eyes searched his, confusion and pain contorting her face. “Please lower your wand. I am not going to hurt you,” He was alarmed at the state of this Hermione. He had seen her as a teenager only a few months ago in the cave near Hogsmeade. She had been so young and bright and full of life. This Hermione was gaunt, hollow-faced, and her stare was hard and unblinking as she tried to calm her nerves. She slowly lowered her wand, sinking back down to sit on the bed.

“Sirius, I am so sorry. I should have known they would be worse now that everything is out of sorts,” She couldn’t look him in the eye as her cheeks reddened. She knew he must have heard her screaming. The scar on her arm throbbed in pain and she winced.

“Hermione, what is going on?” Sirius moved to sit on the bed next to her and she shifted further away, “What the fuck happened that made you scream like that?”

“It was just a bad dream, I get them all the time,” She insisted. She pushed her sweaty hair away from her face and put her wand on the bedside table. “Really, Sirius. I’m okay,” She looked up at him finally and his grey eyes were shining with disbelief in the dim glow of his wand.

“Don’t fucking lie to me. I know the type of things that have to happen to cause nightmares like that,” he shuddered, the sharp smell of the sea in his nostrils, “I can remember every single moment on that island, and that doesn’t change when I’m trying to sleep.” She shook her head at him, not wanting to give anything away. If he knew, if only he knew what Bellatrix would do to him, and what Bellatrix would do to her.

“Sirius, I can’t tell you. I can’t.”

“So it’s something that hasn’t happened to this time’s Hermione?” His face was etched with concern, “Something that hasn’t happened yet?” His voice was so gentle, so full of worry, that Hermione found it hard not to burst into tears. She had never talked about what happened to her in Malfoy Manor. Ron, Harry, and Ginny were the only ones she would have wanted to talk to, but they were gone.

“I…Sirius…” he stared at her, crestfallen. “You don’t have to worry. I’m fine.”

“You obviously aren’t fine, Hermione,” he muttered, bitterly, “Is there anything you need?”

“No. Please just go back to bed,” realizing she was only in her underclothes, she pulled the covers back around her. Pain coursed through her forearm and she covered it quickly. Sirius stood, eyes cast down and walked slowly from the room, shutting the door behind him. How could she have been so stupid? She was very thankful for the darkness of the room. He had almost seen the bright red scar on her arm, she had almost revealed a secret that would surely send him running to Hogwarts to stop Harry from competing. She had to be more careful. “ _Muffliato,_ ” She cast the spell to drown out another possible nightmare, but she didn’t think that she would be going back to sleep tonight.

Hermione slid down off the bed and pulled her small beaded bag to her. She had long since taken the Undetectable Extension Charm off of it. She let out a genuine laugh as she pulled out her Blackberry, she would make _billions_ if she showed this off in 1994. Under her notebook, tucked behind the lining of the bag, was Harry’s Invisibility Cloak. Hermione felt that it was fate she had kept it on her every day since Harry had died. It would certainly be useful.

What would happen if everything changed? What would happen to this Hermione if she stopped everything that had happened in the second war? _Should_ she stop Voldemort from coming back in three days time? If she did that, he would only grow stronger, only build his body back together in a different way. Wouldn’t he? She’d have to do some Arithmancy equations to figure it out.

A shiver ran through Hermione and she stood, opening Sirius’ wardrobe. Most of it was Muggle clothing which didn’t surprise her. She grabbed a long-sleeved t-shirt and some pajama bottoms. Pulling them on, she grabbed her notebook from her bag and curled up on the bed again. Time to make a plan.

* * *

 

**JUNE 21st, 1995**

 

Hermione was downstairs in the kitchen, surrounded by quills and parchment when Sirius finally woke up and came to find her. He stopped short at the sight of her wearing his pajama pants loose around her waist. His mouth went dry at the sight of her, barefoot in his kitchen, wearing _his_ clothes. For fuck's sake, this was his godson’s teenage best friend. He cleared his throat, the sound intensifying the pounding in his head. She turned, a bright smile on her face. The dark circles under her eyes were even more pronounced than when he had woken her from her nightmare. She must not have slept after he’d left her alone. Though she definitely didn’t look as hungover as he felt. Unfortunately, he hadn’t thought to supply the house with Pepper-Up potions, since he generally liked to wallow in his pain.

She vanished the parchment on the table. “Good morning,” She said as she put sizzling sausages on a plate. She walked over to the table with two plates of food and sat one down in front of Sirius.

“Wow, thank you, Hermione,” Sirius pulled the plate and utensils towards him. As he ate, Sirius realized this was the first real meal that he’d had since he was staying with Remus, after leaving Hogwarts last year. Sirius was helpless in the kitchen. He’d always had a house-elf to supply for him - whether at Grimmauld Place, Hogwarts, or home at the Potters’. He’d been snacking and getting Remus to bring him food from the Leaky for the past two days. Hermione had transfigured the measly offerings that his cupboards offered into more enticing food.

“I didn’t know what you liked so I made a bit of everything…” Hermione pushed the eggs around on her plate while she watched him eat.

“I like everything,” he grinned at her with a piece of bacon hanging out of his mouth. She giggled as he slurped the whole thing into his mouth. “Where did you learn how to cook?”

“When Harry, Ron, and I were-” she stopped short, her throat tight. “Sorry,” she cleared her throat, “I had to do a lot of it.”

Sirius searched her face, putting down his fork. “Need to know, right?” She nodded, eyes cast down, “Okay. Well anyway, you’re great at it.” He took another large bite of eggs. “What do you want to do today? Remus should be over later.”

“Shall we find a room for me to sleep in?” Hermione scrapped the contents of her plate onto his.

“You should eat… we didn’t eat much while drinking yesterday,” Sirius pushed the plate towards her, frowning. Hermione shook her head, twisting her hands together. “Hermione, I mean it. You clearly didn’t get enough sleep last night and you need to eat and then take a long nap.” Her eyes met his and he could see the exhaustion there. He shuddered, recalling how her screams had ripped him from his own dream. He didn’t even have to think before blowing the door open to his room, to find her writhing in pain.

“Sirius, drop it,” she begged, hand reaching out for his. “I promise I will eat later, I just don’t feel well and want to get to doing something to take my mind off all...” she gestured to the room with her free hand, “... this.”

Sirius sighed, “Fine. Let’s go find a room,” He stood, flicking his wand and sending the empty plates to the sink. With another wave, they started washing themselves. Hermione followed him past the covered picture of Walburga Black and the mounted house-elves she had forgotten about. They climbed to the top landing, where Sirius’ room was. However, he turned to Regulus’ room instead of his own. The room was as they both remembered it. Sirius hadn’t been in here since the two of them were in school. Teenage Hermione wouldn’t enter the room for another three years.

“You want me to stay in here?” She asked as she walked over, looking over all of the clippings that covered the walls. Sirius took a deep breath and moved towards her.

“It’s the most comfortable room, apart from mine. Besides, people like Dumbledore won’t go looking in here. Or Harry, if he can come to stay with me this summer.” He lifted his wand, “ _Evanesco!_ ” Before she could stop him every bit of Slytherin paraphernalia disappeared into the tip of Sirius’ wand. She spun to look at the sparse walls. It was suddenly very different than the room she would walk into three summers from now. Hermione’s breath caught in her throat and her vision started to blur. Sirius moved in front of her as her breathing quickened. He placed his hands on her shoulders and led her to the emerald chair in the corner.

Hermione couldn’t take a deep breath. If the room had changed, what else had her presence ruined? It was like a hippogriff had kicked her in the chest. Oh god, what if she couldn’t change anything at all? She would have to watch everyone die all over again. Sirius was talking to her, she knew, but she couldn’t hear through the ragged breathing in her ears.

“Hermione, look at me. Look at me! What happened?” Sirius was rubbing her shoulders as she gasped for breath. “Hermione! Look at me!” Hermione’s eyes finally locked with his and the terror that shone in them caused his throat to tighten. His grey eyes did not leave hers, determined to do something to help. He continued to whisper to her, hold her.

“Sirius,” She gasped and burst into tears. She moved towards him and placed her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her as she cried. He didn’t know what to do but hold her and rub small circles on her back. Her fluffy hair tickled his nose as he held her close. He had only ever been this close to her once before when he had wrapped his arms around her on the back of Buckbeak the night they had rescued him. But now she wasn’t that 14-year-old girl.

Sirius couldn’t help but relish the feeling of being this close to her. He hadn’t had physical contact from a woman like this in years. He felt safe, holding on to Hermione. He smoothed her hair down and whispered assurances in her ear as she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. He could feel the pain of her sobs, deep in his gut. Sirius desperately wished Hermione would tell him and let him hold some of this burden for her. He knew it must be hard to have her entire world turned upside down and end up in a new place… or an old place, in her case.

Hermione felt so lost. She couldn’t stop the flood now that it had started. The plan she had made last night in her small notebook seemed futile. The man whose shoulder she was crying on would be dead in a year. Harry would be dead. Remus, Ron, Ginny. Why had she been sent back? How was she supposed to be the one to fix everything, to save everyone? That was the reason she was here, wasn’t it? The weight of her being here settled on her chest like a Dementor had entered the room. It was so cold and she was so alone.

“I’m right here, Hermione,” Sirius murmured in her ear, “I’m right here.”


	5. Chapter 5

JUNE 21st, 1995

 

Hermione woke up with her legs aching. Sirius’ arms will still wrapped around her. Her cheeks reddened and she made a small, uncomfortable noise. Sirius looked down at her and instantly let her go. His cheeks matched hers and he cleared his throat.

Sirius had moved them to the floor. After the overwhelming emotions receded, she had relaxed, curled up against him. He hadn’t the heart to moved her when she fell asleep. His breathing had matched hers while he watched her. Now that she was awake, uncomfortable feelings came rushing in for both of them.

Hermione moved off his lap and pulled her tangled hair back from her face. Her face was puffy and sticky and she could see the snot stains on Sirius’ shirt. She watched as he awkwardly got to his feet. His bones creaked under his skin. The twelve years in Azkaban had not left him untouched. He held out his hand to Hermione and he helped her stand shakily to her feet.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” He asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. She gazed at him, trying to work out what would be safe to tell him.

“I’ve been in here before… or, I will be in a few years. The room was untouched when we- when I came in. And now it isn’t, so I don’t know what I’ve changed or how to fix it or if I’ve ruined everything…” She looked up at him and his mouth was set in a grim line, his brows contorted in confusion.

“Didn’t you come here to change something, though? Isn’t the whole point of you _being_ here? To change something that happ-”

“I don’t know!” She cut him off, eyes blazing, “I don’t know why I am here! I don’t know how I’m here. Or who sent me! Or what I am meant to change!” She rubbed her hands over her face trying to find some semblance of clarity. Her hands pressed hard into her face, hiding her tightly clenched eyes. He yanked her arms away and bent down to look into her lowered eyes.

“Hermione, something has changed, because things are meant to change. Whatever it is, whatever happened, you can change it. _We_ can change it. You don’t have to be alone in this. If you tell me  I might be able to help you,” He tapped the bottom of her chin and she looked up at him, her eyes softening. “Remus too,” he added with a smile. She took another glance around the room. If her plan was to change things, maybe this would be a good place to start.

“Okay,” She murmured, looking up at the man in front of her. He had lines around his eyes, and his face was still thin from the years he spent in Azkaban. He was still strong though. He held her like no other person ever had. It was the first time she had felt truly safe since the Battle of Hogwarts. And she couldn’t deny how lovely it felt to be in his arms, even when she was in crisis. She pushed the thought from her head. This was Sirius. Harry’s godfather. He would only ever see her as the young teenager she was in his time.

“I think we should make this place as comfortable for you as we can,” Sirius declared, arms sweeping the room. He waved his wand and the dark duvet turned a soft beige and the dust vanished. He set out transfiguring the rest of the items in the room. Hermione watched as he continued working, admiring his talent. He created a pile of the papers on Regulus’ wall, including the pictures of him on the Slytherin team, and they balanced on the side table. Finally, he vanished the rug and grinned at her.

“Thank you, Sirius,” She smiled back at him, “You do transfiguration well.”

“James and I had top marks. We were even better than Moony,” He muttered, pride in his voice, “That’s how we got to be Animagi. We worked so hard and it only took the two of us two years…”  He glanced at Hermione, sitting on the edge of the newly transfigured armchair. He had made it deep burgundy and plush, just like the ones in Gryffindor tower. She gazed at him sympathetically. Sirius tried not to look down her body, dressed in his oversized clothes. She looked weathered and rugged and strong and, fuck, _beautiful._  He swallowed roughly and turned away from her, opening the wardrobe. He had vanished the few items of clothing that were in there and knew Hermione would need new clothes soon. They would have to send Remus.

“I think we’ll have to send Remus for new clothes,” Hermione offered from the chair, eerily mirroring his thoughts. He turned to look at her, a smile playing on his lips. “We’ll ask him today,” Her eyes widened suddenly, “Oh, no! I don’t have any money!” He couldn’t help the loud, barking laugh at her worry.

“Don’t fret about that,” He gestured to the room, “You’re in the noble House of Black, and as I am the sole heir, you will be taken care of. Don’t worry.” She began to protest and he held up his hand, “Really, Hermione. Nothing would make me happier than spending my parent’s money.”

“What happened to make your parents so…”

“Evil? Cruel? Unkind? _Pure_?” He scoffed the last word, rolling his eyes, “It’s how they were raised, honestly. The House of Black has a long history of being, well… the worst. I mean look who we produced. Some of the most notorious Death Eaters of them all. I’m just hoping Dumbledore can find a way to keep the Dementors from picking their side again so they can all stay locked up on that fucking  island.” To Sirius, his cousin escaping was the worst possible consequence of Voldemort’s supporters gaining traction in the wizarding community. Hermione couldn’t bear to look at him. Not with the knowledge that in about six months they would all be free again.

“ _Filth! Mongrel! Dirty half-breed! You shameful disgusting monster invading the noble and most ancient…”_ Walburga Black was screaming. Hermione jumped up beside Sirius, drawing her wand.

“Ah, that’ll be Moony.” Sirius walked to the landing, “You alone, Moony?” he called down the stairs.

“Ugh, YES!” Remus yelled over the screeching. “Shut UP you fucking cow-” Remus was struggling to pull the curtains closed as Sirius and Hermione bounded down the stairs. Sirius jumped to help and the two of them finally pulled them shut. Hermione giggled at her former professor’s swears.

“Hi, Remus. Nice to see you,” Hermione whispered, walking towards the kitchen. The two men followed her. Once they were inside and the door was shut, Remus pulled Sirius into a hug and then did the same to Hermione.

“I could have sworn that yesterday didn’t happen,”

“Well. Yeah, that’s what happens when you get fucking pissed, Moony,” Sirius laughed, falling into a chair. Hermione turned to the cupboard and started transfiguring the rest of the measly scraps into sandwiches.

“Remus,” Hermione said from where she was working with her wand, “I need you to go out and buy some things for us, if that’s okay?” She turned to look at him and he smiled.

“Of course, Hermione. Make me a list and I’ll go today.”

“Right-o, Moony, tell me what Dumbledore said,” Sirius conjured three butterbeers from the icebox.

“Well, mostly reiterated that you would have to stay here. And that we should cast a new Fidelis Charm with Dumbledore as the Secret Keeper,” Remus said, taking a long draw from his butterbeer. “He’s also had me reaching out to other people to start surveillance missions on known Voldemort sympathizers,” Hermione came over with sandwiches and sat down next to Remus. He turned and smiled kindly at her, green eyes twinkling. For the first time, Hermione noticed how his hair had not greyed significantly yet. She remembered that Sirius’ death would break him in a way he hadn’t been before. Hopefully, her being here could stop that from happening.

She conjured a quill and parchment from the study while she watched them eat. She sat out to make a list of things for him to buy.

“Fuck!” Sirius exclaimed, laughing loudly. She looked up, clearly missing part of the conversation, “I can’t believe I forgot about that!”

“Forgot about what?” Hermione asked, looking between the two of them.

“In 6th year,” Remus choked out between laughter, “Mary Macdonald sent him an owl saying he could sleep with her if he got up to her bedroom. So Sirius here decided to climb up the girl's dormitories as Padfoot so the stairs didn’t transfigure. Picture Mary and Sirius, mid-coitus, being interrupted by a very irate Lily Evans,” Remus could barely hold himself together, “Lily Bat-Bogey’d him and sent him sliding down the stairs _completely_ naked in front of the Gryffindor Gobstones team that was practicing. He fell into their game and got, got…” Remus was howling, doubled over.

“The gunk spewed me in the dick,” Sirius finished for Remus, deadpan, corners of his mouth twitching. Hermione couldn’t help bursting into laughter at the contrite look on Sirius’ face.

“And then, and then…” Remus sputtered, “James grabbed McKinnon’s camera-”

“There’s a picture?!” Hermione gasped, “Tell me it still exists!”

“It is kept in a very safe place,” Sirius muttered, downing the rest of his butterbeer and summoning another. Remus grasped Hermione’s arm as he tried to regain composure. He leaned in close to Hermione, trying to stifle the small, leftover bursts of laughter and whispered, “It’s a magical picture, Hermione. It moves!” Hermione snorted, trying not to giggle. Remus’ breath tickled her ear as he lost it again.

“Alright, alright,” Sirius chided, though amusement danced behind his dark grey eyes. “Watch it. I can tell some pretty interesting stories about you, Professor Lupin,” Sirius was teasing, but Remus stiffened anyway, worried about whatever story was going to come. He remembered that Hermione was his student merely a year ago. But this Hermione was still giggling at the thought of Sirius’ dick being covered in Gobstones gunk. It was definitely hard to reconcile the two in his mind.

Remus finally quieted his laughs and took the list from Hermione. As he read through it, Sirius pressed a bag of gold in his hand. Remus grimaced, embarrassed to take money from his friend, knowing Sirius wouldn’t let him give back any change.

“I feel the same way,” Hermione muttered to him, leaning her chin on her hands. Remus smiled kindly at her and tucked the bag into his robes. “But I just want some clean clothes. I put my measurements on the list, did you see?” Remus nodded at her, sending his empty butterbeer bottle to the rubbish bin.

“So, do you want to just jump right in, Hermione?” Sirius blurted. Remus sighed, shaking his head at his friend’s utter lack of social prowess.

Hermione blanched, looking between the two of them, “I don’t really know where to start.”

“Well, wherever you feel comfortable.,” Remus smiled at her, reassuringly

“Alright. I think am here to make sure that the future I came from doesn’t happen. So let’s try to do that. In three days time Harry will win the Triwizard Tournament,” the two men raised their eyebrows as Hermione continued, “The cup is a Portkey. It will take him to a graveyard and in the graveyard Peter Pettigrew-”

“That fucking rat,” Sirius snarled.

“-will help Lord Voldemort to rise again,” Hermione paused, waiting for a reaction. Remus gasped, eyes widening. Sirius stood, swearing, and ran his hands through his long hair.

“We have to tell Dumbledore,” Remus declared.

Sirius was pacing, “What happens in the graveyard? What happens to Harry?”

Hermione looked between the two of them and sighed, “Sirius, Harry will watch Cedric Diggory die. He will duel Voldemort. But he will  _live_. Voldemort uses some type of potion to get his body back. And Remus, yes. I think that it is likely that we will have to tell Dumbledore.”

“So, fucking Voldemort comes back…” Sirius growled, “That means there will be another fucking war.” Hermione nodded. “Dumbledore must have known it was coming. He’s been gearing up for something like this for months.

“Do we win the war?” asked Remus, sharply. Hermione nodded again. “And… what are our losses?” Hermione closed her eyes, the rows of dead so easily remembered.

“Substantial.”

“Then let us make sure that doesn’t fucking happen!” Sirius yelled. “We have to stop Harry from winning, from ending up in that graveyard!” He stood again. Both he and Remus had gone pale. The last war had taken everything from both of them. The threat of Voldemort’s return was affecting them both. Remus knew Dumbledore would ask him to assimilate with the werewolves. Sirius knew he would be stuck in this goddamn house while the war raged around him once more.

“Let’s owl him then,” Hermione said softly.

“You’re sure?” Remus could feel her heart racing through the palm of her hand.

“Yes. If you think it’s something we should stop, owl him.”

Sirius conjured parchment and a quill and sat down once more. “Should I tell him about you?”

“I’m worried about interception, Padfoot,” Remus offered, “Maybe just allude, we can explain in person.”

Hermione was shaking. She hoped this was the right move. Last night she had decided to disclose this  _one_ thing. She squeezed Remus’ hand tighter and found solace in the rough skin she felt. They were going to make it through this war. They had to. Sirius was yelling at the two of them about what to put in the owl.

“Tell me everything that happens. Who dies? Do I? Does Remus? _Harry_?”

“I can’t tell you, Sirius-” She told him. He opened his mouth to protest angrily and she held up her hand. To all three of their surprise, he stopped talking, “Don’t,” she spat out at him. Sirius took several deep, shaking breaths. His grey eyes were fierce and shining. Finally, he nodded, turning back to the parchment.

* * *

 

“I should go,” Remus murmured once the owl was sent, “I’ll come back in a few hours with your things. Hopefully before Dumbledore gets in.”

“Great,” Sirius grumbled, “See you later, Moony.” Hermione and Sirius followed Remus to the front door so he could apparate off the top step. “You should eat your sandwich, Hermione,” Sirius said as they both walked back to the kitchen. He sat and pushed the plate towards her, his mouth set in a line. Hermione sighed, sitting next to him.

“I’m not particularly hungry,” she said, taking a deep swig of her butterbeer, sending the plate back to him.

“You haven’t eaten a single fucking thing since you’ve been here and you need to,” Sirius hissed, picking the plate up and planting it roughly in front of her, “I mean it. You never know how long you’ll be in one place and you should eat while it’s here,” His eyes were fierce and Hermione could tell this was not something to fight with him about. He was pissed about Voldemort, and she conceded, knowing it would make him feel at least a little bit better.

“Alright. I’m sorry. I just...” She pulled the food towards her and started eating. “I feel like I could be sick at any moment with everything hanging over me.”

“So just  _tell me_ ,” Sirius begged her. There were more secrets, obviously ones so great that it forced Hermione back ten years. Secrets about her forging through the war that was coming. He just wanted to help her.

“Sirius, I can’t!” She didn’t say more and they sat in silence while she finished her sandwich. He continued glowering at her.

Hermione sighed and said, “I’m here to stop terrible things, really terrible things from happening,” She shivered, recalling the bright red blood of a mortal Voldemort staining the castle floor. “But if I tell you now, there is a chance that it could be so much worse than the future I came from. And I _cannot_ risk that.” Her voice rose at the end, forceful and unfaltering. Sirius could see the hard edges of this witch, that she was not a person to be messed with. He knew this, of course, with how quick she was when it came to drawing her wand. But now, even while wandless, magic seemed to spark in the air around her. “Please let's just wait for Dumbledore.”

He wanted to retort back, but it didn’t seem like he should fight a losing battle. She wasn’t going to tell him everything. He would just have to be okay with that for now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends. So instead of holding back and waiting to edit, I figure I'd rather update you as much as possible and then go back and edit once the story comes to a close or good pause so I can work on editing. 
> 
> So this is Chapter 6 - unedited and uncut!
> 
> Please PLEASE let me know if you see any weird inconsistencies or bad flubs or glaring mistakes. 
> 
> Thank you! <3 <3 <3

**JUNE 22nd, 1995**

The next day was filled with all three of them worrying and trying to pass time. Dumbledore had owled back, requesting to come later that day and none of the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place knew what to do with themselves.

Hermione sleepily opened up the door when Sirius’ knocking had woken her up from a nap.

“Argh! I can’t just sit around doing fucking nothing! It’s driving me fucking mad!” He pushed past her, pulling at his long ragged hair. “I can’t fucking do it anymore, just sitting around feeding sodding Buckbeak and twidling my fucking thumbs!”

“Say ‘fuck’ one more time, Sirius,” She grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

“Fuck!” He flopped down on the bed, throwing his arm over his face. For the first time, Hermione saw the young man in him. He was acting like a petulant adolescent. She put her hands on her hips, wand gripped in her balled up fist.

“You’re so ridiculous,” She muttered, “What would you like to do then? Since your life has apparently become unbearable.”

“Fucking hell, I don’t know. Literally _anything_.” He whined.

“That’s not very specific,” She smiled at him, moving to sit on the bed with him. Sirius grabbed her and threw her down, laughing as she squealed. “Ah! No!" Padfoot was sitting on top of her, licking the side of her face, "Sirius! Get off!" She tried to push the large dog off her but his cold nose pressed her face down, "Argh, Pad-” Hermione was cut off by the doorbell ringing… and Walburga’s screams. Sirius shifted, standing swiftly, wand out.

“Stay here,” He whispered, walking down the stairs. Hermione stood at the landing, listening. Hermione heard Sirius call out, though she couldn’t hear the response over Walburga. There was a loud bang and the screams stopped.

“Sirius, let us retire to the sitting room, I would love a bit of sparkling pumpkin juice if you’ve got it,” It was Professor Dumbledore. Hermione gasped and backed into her room, closing the door softly behind her. She wasn’t ready to face the Headmaster. She thought she was ready, but she couldn't look into the eyes of a dead man. A man who knew so much of what was to happen and who was about to know much more. He'd want to know more than she could tell him. There were so many things that she might tell him, or be _forced_ to tell him. Professor Dumbledore was a truly gifted Legilimens and most likely not afraid to use it. Flashes of the war she had faced invaded her mind, no matter how hard she tried to force herself to not think about it.  _Clear your mind_.

There was a soft knock on her door, “Hermione?” it was Remus. He pushed the door open and sighed at the state of her; wild and panicked. “It’s going to be alright, Hermione,” he told her as she shook her head, doubts filling her once again.

She was terrified. “Remus I can’t, he might ask for details I _can’t_ give,” she whispered, the marks on her covered forearm twinging painfully. Remus was next to her, holding her hand. She shook her head again as he tried to pull her towards the door.

“You’re okay, Hermione. You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.”

“Remus, he’s a Legilimens,” panic flashed in her eyes, “he could make me see what happened so he can see it… And I cannot do that. I can’t relive it.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Hermione frowned, wondering if that were really true. “I will make sure he doesn’t. Don’t lock eyes with him, if it makes you worried. Sirius and I will be there the whole time. Come on, love,” She let him lead her down the stairs as he murmured encouragements to her. As they walked into the kitchen, Sirius’ eyes darted to their intertwined hands before he stood.

“She’s had a bit of a shock, Albus,” Remus told Dumbledore, pulling Hermione to a seat, “I think it’s catching up a little with you being here. She’s worried you’ll force her to relive memories…” Remus took a seat next to her. She tightened her grip on his rough hand when he tried to pull away.

“Miss Granger. Remus and Sirius said they have confirmed your identity. Sirius has informed me of the information you gave them,” said Dumbledore, softly. Hermione took a deep breath and turned to glare at Sirius.

“Ah, there she is,” Sirius smirked at her, though no humor flashed in his eyes.

Hermione turned her glower from Sirius, her annoyance fueling her to make it through the conversation ahead, “Hello, Professor. I’m sorry he spoke before I had a chance to. I had some thoughts about how to stop Harry from winning without alerting the Death Eaters.”

Dumbledore sighed, folding his hands, “Thank you, Miss Granger, but I do not intend to stop Harry from facing Lord Voldemort in two nights time.” Hermione and Remus gasped as Sirius stood once more.

“What?!” Sirius yelled, “You’ve got to be fucking _kidding me_!” He kicked his chair and sent it flying across the room. “You can’t let Harry-” He broke off, swearing.

“Sirius, please,” the Headmaster said, quietly. He did not seem surprised at Sirius’ outburst.

“NO!” He screamed. Remus let go of Hermione’s hand and stood, grabbing Sirius by the shoulders. “Moony, he can’t! He can’t!”

“I know, Sirius. Let’s just listen to Albus for just a moment,” Remus implored him. Sirius shook his head, fists clenched. “Padfoot. Come on.” Sirius continued to seethe but sat with Remus.

Hermione stared at the old wizard, “Sir, I don’t know if you understand-”

“I can assure you, Miss Granger, I do,” said Dumbledore, sharply. Hermione closed her mouth and looked round to Remus. His eyes flashed a bright silver briefly and he shook his head.

“But-”

“Sirius. I have my reasons-” Dumbledore held up his hand as Sirius opened his mouth again, “Enough. Listen to me. Voldemort will be performing ‘ _Sacrificii Aqua Immortu’._ ”

“What is that?” Hermione asked.

“It is the only thing that can bring a person fully back from the brink of death.” Dumbledore told them, “When Voldemort killed Lily,” both Remus and Sirius flinched, “The spell rebounded. We know this because of the scar on Harry’s head. That rebound did not kill Voldemort. It brought him as close to death as possible. We’ve known he’s been in hiding since his essence left Professor Quirrell when Harry defeated him. He has been living as something half-alive. This will bring him back.”

“So why don’t we _stop_ that, Albus?” asked Remus.

“The magic can be completed with _any_ person that doesn’t follow Voldemort.”

Sirius snarled, “you’re saying he wants to use Harry for dramatics?”

“Essentially, yes. I assume he likes the imagery of using the boy who almost brought about his death to bring about his new life.”

“So why can’t we stop that, sir?” Hermione said, looking at Sirius’ anguished face.

“You say that Harry will live through the ordeal, so I think it is important that Voldemort fight him. If Harry doesn’t end up taking that Portkey, Voldemort will go to more violent lengths to get to him, and in that, he will still be able to come back using any other ‘enemy’,” Dumbledore turned to look at Hermione. “If the current relationships of Harry, Ron, and Hermione continue in this way, I assume you know that Harry has a much larger battle to face.”

“Yes,” Hermione whispered. When he continued to look expectantly at her she said, “You’re right about the Horcruxes.”

“ _Horcruxes?_ ” Remus and Sirius gasped together.

“Yes,” said Dumbledore, sadly, “A topic which we will discuss in the near future. I am letting the events of June 24th unfold as Miss Granger remembers. After which, we will strategize our next move. I do not want to hear any arguments about this, Sirius.” Sirius swore and slammed his fist on the table. “In the meantime, I think we should move you, Miss Granger, to a new safehouse.”

“No!” Hermione exclaimed, eyes locking with Sirius. She flushed, clearing her throat, “I’m sorry, but no. That is non-negotiable. I will be staying here at Grimmauld Place. I want to be here.” Dumbledore looked between the three of them with a small smile.

“Alright, that is fine. Soon there will be a new Fidelius Charm which will make it a much safer. As of now, you’re still living under the Death Fidelius that Lady Black left in her wake.  I will reach out to you all soon. Sirius, would you like to be on the grounds the night of the task?”

“Yes,” Sirius bit out, still glaring at the Headmaster. Dumbledore nodded and stood. Remus rose with him and shook his hand and led him out to the front door.

Hermione went to busy herself by making dinner from the now fully stocked stores. Her heart was racing and she blinked fiercely to stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks.

“Hermione,” Sirius said and she turned to find him staring at her. “Why did you want to stay here? I’ve never heard someone talk to Dumbledore that way.” Hermione scoffed, “Well, besides me.”

“Something to know about Dumbledore,” she turned back to dinner, “is that he has a lot of plans that aren’t….pleasant. I don’t intend for a lot of them to come to fruition this time around. He’s a great man and an exceptional wizard, but he has made, and will make, some very foolish decisions.”

“Like this one,” Sirius grumbled, thinking about how disappointed Lily would be, “But why did you want to stay here, though?”

“Well, you,” she turned again, leaning against the counter, a blush painting her cheeks, “I like being here with you. You make me feel…” she paused, “safe.” Sirius’ chest swelled slightly with pride, “Even when you try to interrupt me every ten minutes and boss me around. I...I just want you to know that I am with Harry. Every step of the way. I will always put him first. I will always fight to keep him as protected and as happy as possible. He is my first priority.”

“Do you… are you and Harry, you know, together, in the future?” Sirius looked uncomfortable. Hermione couldn’t help but laugh. First, at the absurdity of her and Harry being together, and second, bitterly, at the fact that Harry was dead and buried in her time.

“No. Definitely not,” the sauce behind her bubbled and she turned back to stir it with her wand. Using magic again had come to her as simply as breathing. It was like she hadn’t missed a beat. “Harry is my best friend,” she said simply. If anything, she would have pursued a relationship with Ronald. They had kissed, finally, for the first time the night of the Battle of Hogwarts. Hermione hadn’t thought about her almost-relationship with Ron since then. The past several years all of her relationships had been short-lived and very insignificant.

“I’m glad he has you,” Sirius said as Remus reentered the kitchen, shabby as ever. Sirius stood and turned to Remus, “Moony-”

“I know. But I think we have to trust Dumbledore.”

“Fuck that! If Prongs and Lily knew that we were letting Harry just run headfirst into danger-”

“I know, Pads. But James would have also wanted us to trust Dumbledore,” Remus said as he turned to face Hermione. Sirius' jaw clenched in resignation but he stayed quiet. “The clothes work alright?” Remus had picked up several different pieces of clothing, magical and Muggle alike. Hermione was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a light purple jumper. She'd requested all long sleeves, and he'd thankfully listened.

“They’re great, Remus. Thank you. You’ll stay for dinner?”

“Course he will,” Sirius muttered from the table, leaning himself back on a chair, “His stores were even sadder than ours,” he smiled slightly as the werewolf came to sit next to him.

“You don’t have to cook for us, Hermione,” Remus said, conjuring dinnerware from the cabinets.

“Oi, we’re keeping her big secret, it’s the _least_ she could do,” Sirius retorted. Hermione twitched her wand and the chair Sirius was leaning back in wobbled and fell back, stopping just before it slammed to the ground. Sirius let out a yell and Hermione smirked as the chair righted itself.

Sirius let out a barking laugh and leaned back again. This time Hermione laughed as the chair hit the floor.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey team!   
> Yay new chapter.   
> It's short, sorry! We're closer and closer to some big fun stuff happening, I promise!

**JUNE 23rd, 1995**

Hermione woke with a scream. Her eyes scanned the room, wand in hand, as she tried to still her racing heart. When her room turned up empty she sighed, lowering her wand. Visions of Bellatrix had woken her, and would probably keep her awake. Her pale skin stood out in the pre-dawn light streaming through the window and her brown eyes were sunken from lack of sleep. After years of adapting to her apartment in Brixton, the nightmares had slowly almost subsided. It was only the shock of seeing Dedalus Diggle again that had started them up again. It had gotten far worse the past several nights being thrown back into the Wizarding World. Still shaking, Hermione rubbed her tired eyes, knowing there wouldn't be any more sleep tonight, not after that particularly bad one. Sighing, she pulled herself from the bed, wand still in hand. Waving her wand to rid the room of silencing and locking spells, she opened the door. A loud thump caused her to yell and throw herself backward.

“ _Morderium_!” Hermione bellowed and there was a bright yellow flash and a loud yelp.

Someone yelled, “Oh, FUCK! Hermione!”

“Sirius!” Hermione gasped and flicked her wand, lighting the room. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t, you were just-”

“It’s okay,” Sirius chuckled, “you can throw a mean hex, woman.” There was a large bite mark covering the whole of Sirius’ tattooed forearm. Hermione dropped to her knees and waved her wand over the bite. The wounds started knitted themselves together.

“What were you doing?!” Hermione demanded, continuing her work. In the light of the _Lumos_ cast above them, Hermione saw his face flush, embarrassed. “What, Sirius?”

“I was listening,” he admitted.

“What? Why?”

Sirius sighed and said, “I just thought you might have another nightmare. I wanted to be able to help if you did.”

“Oh.” She was uncomfortable. Sirius had been sleeping outside her door, sitting up. He deserved to sleep in a bed after the years he had spent in the walls of Azkaban. “Sirius, there’s no need-”

“It makes me feel like I’m doing something, Hermione.”

“Right,” Hermione mumbled, standing. Sirius pushed himself up, stifling a groan.

“What were you doing up?” He asked, looking her up and down. Her eyes were blotchy and red around the rims. She was pale, her skin ghostly white. “Oh, Hermione,” His grey eyes crinkled in concern as they met hers. “You cast a silencing charm? To keep me out?”

“No, not to keep you out… just to not wake you,” she looked away from him. They had plagued her for the past seven years and she had dealt with it alone, and she could deal with them alone now. She told Sirius so.

“You don’t have to, though!” said Sirius loudly. “Why are you trying to hold the burden of the whole fucking world on your own, Hermione?”

“Because-”

“Because why?!”

“Sirius, listen-”

“Just fucking tell me why!”

“Because, argh, fuck!” Sirius stopped. Hermione hardly ever swore. “Because I’ve had to for the last seven fucking years, Sirius!” She screamed. Magic seemed to radiate from her. Bright red sparks flew from the end of her wand, “I have been alone! For the past seven years! I cry alone. I scream alone. I hold the burden alone!” Her hair sizzled and frizzed with energy as she yelled at him. He flinched under her blazing glare.

“Hermione-

“No! I have been completely alone for the last seven years and now suddenly I’ve been sent back to the fucking future to what? Change it? Fix it? Save everyone?” tear streaks started making their way down Hermione’s face.

Sirius took a step toward her, “You think I don’t know what it’s like to lose everyone? Do you think I don’t know what it’s like to be alone?” He gestured to his Azkaban number, peeking from under his t-shirt. “Do you think Remus doesn’t know? Come off it, we were the definition of alone. You’re here to stop this war. That won’t be your future anymore!” His face softened, “We’re going to fix it, love,” Sirius moved forward and folded her in his arms. He rested his head on the top of hers and his fingers stroked lines up and down her spine. “It’s going to be alright.” She finally relaxed in his arms, pressing her face against his chest. Sirius couldn’t help but breathe in the scent of her, the feel of her. Merlin, how he wanted to taste her too.

He was appalled at the way he was reacting to their closeness. He wanted to be her friend. He wanted to be her ally in the fight to keep Harry safe and defeat Voldemort once and for all. This was his godson’s best friend. All rationale all seemed to leave him when he was near to her. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her, ever since that first night when she matched him, shot for shot of firewhiskey. Maybe it was how alone he’d been, and he just needed company. But he couldn’t deny the smell of old books, quill ink, and fresh flowers that drew him in. Subtly, he breathed her scent in deep, burying his nose in her messy curls, relishing their closeness. She wasn’t the fifteen-year-old at Hogwarts with Harry. She was an adult, a beautiful, bright witch that had traveled in time to keep his godson safe. She intoxicated him.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” Hermione finally sniffled, snuggling deeper into Sirius’ chest. Her voice pulled him from his daze and he swallowed forcefully.

“Hey, that’s what friends are for,” Sirius smiled at her whine and unwillingly pulled her away, holding her by the shoulders. She was messy. Snot, tears, hair sticking to her face. Sirius reached out and brushed the curls from her face, placing them behind her ears. She pouted, swiping her arm across her nose, wiping the snot on the sleeve of Sirius’ long-sleeved t-shirt. “Oi, still wearing my shirt, woman!” He snipped in mock annoyance. Hermione let out a giggle and shrugged.

“Sorry, it’s cozy,” She said and the lifted her wand, “ _Tempus_ ,” she cast. It was 5:47 in the morning. “Might as well stay up, I think. We can go to bed early tonight. It will be a long day tomorrow,” She gazed at him sadly. He nodded and waved his wand. The torches and lights bloomed to life and Hermione vanished her little ball of magical light. He turned and faced away from her, taking a deep breath.

“Remus said he would stop in again today,” Sirius mentioned as they started to walk down to the kitchen.

“I was wondering… since, well, since Dumbledore has made his verdict, if you would want to hear the rest of it.”

“The rest of it?” asked Sirius.

“Yes,” Hermione whispered, “The rest of my future. Well, maybe not all of it.” A shiver ran over her as she thought of Malfoy Manor. 

Sirius stopped at the last landing and looked around at her, “Really?”

“Yes. Dumbledore has made his choice. You both would have to know anyway. So, yes I want to tell you. You and Remus. If you’ll listen.”

“Well, yeah, course. Long as you’re willing to tell.” Sirius said, continuing his journey downstairs. She followed, worrying her bottom lip. She didn’t know if it was a good idea to tell Sirius anything about what the future held. Knowing of your own death probably didn’t boost morale, especially in an already emotionally repressed Sirius Black. But he did deserve to know. They both did. Hermione was determined to make sure the two of them lived much longer lives than they had in her future. Then there was Remus. Hermione knew she couldn’t tell him about Tonks, and definitely not about Teddy. Merlin, he deserved to watch his son grow up. To have his wife by his side. Hermione wanted them to trust her as much as possible. She wanted to stay in this house as long as possible. With Sirius as long as possible.

Hermione immediately started busying herself with breakfast. Instead of sitting at the table, Sirius moved to stand next to her, pulling out glasses. His arm grazed lightly against hers. Hermione’s breath shallowed as he continued to brush past her and around her as he pulled out fruit and pumpkin juice from the cupboard charmed with a Cooling Stasis spell. Hermione knew was Sirius was doing, even if he didn’t. The forced closeness of the past few days had caused a familiarity with Sirius that she hadn’t felt since Harry, Ron, and Ginny were alive. It sparked something violent in Hermione. A deep-rooted fierceness that coursed through her; the need to protect, to comfort, to be near to. It terrified her. It felt so natural to suddenly, unexpectedly love someone so much, and so quickly, but also she knew what it was like to lose those very people. If she couldn’t stop her future from happening, she would lose Sirius and Remus too. Knowing them now, seeing them full of life, she couldn't bear to lose them. There was probably no chance of her going back to her time, so there would be no chance of recconecting with _her_ Harry, Ron, and Ginny. Sirius and Remus were all she had now, and there was no way she was going to let them go. 

She moved away from Sirius and sat a stack of toast to the table. Instead of going over to Sirius and plating the eggs and sausage, she conjured them to her and they landed on two flying plates, placing themselves softly on the table. While smiling at her, Sirius moved to sit next to her.

They ate in silence, Hermione trying to look anywhere but at his grey eyes. Something about looking into them made it hard for her to contain the panic that seemed to simmer right underneath the surface. Sirius wanted nothing more than to reach across the table and bury his hands in her tangled hair and feel her lips against his.

Green flames burst into the fireplace and Remus stepped through, brushing soot off his shabby robes. Hermione jumped up and went to make the werewolf a plate of food.

“Oh, Sirius. Didn’t expect to see you awake this early,” Remus said, taking a seat and tossing the Prophet on the table.

Sirius grabbed the paper, “What rubbish did they write now?”

“Well, that Skeeter woman-”

Hermione snarled, “Fucking cow,” she dropped the plate in front of Remus and huffed, crossing her arms. Remus stared at her and Sirius let out a low chuckle and she sank into a chair.

“Guess this Hermione swears now,” Sirius told Remus, a smile on his face.

“That bitch just needs to keep her mouth shut!” Hermione insisted, glaring at the paper.

“What I was going to say,” Remus said softly, “Is that she hasn’t said anything for a while now." Hermione rolled her eyes, not untangling her arms. “Well, anyway, how are you two anyway. Tell me you didn’t drink too much last night?” Hermione blushed and glanced at the rubbish bin she had forgotten to vanish. Remus sighed and gave Sirius a scathing look.

“Not my idea!” Sirius insisted, holding up his hands, “The witch is the one that convinced me.” Hermione glared at him as he laughed. “Anyway, I think we’ll need some more because Hermione here is going to tell us her future.”

“Not one for tact, are we, Black?” Hermione groaned as Remus looked at her.

“You sure you want to do that?” asked Remus, searching her face, “We don’t need to know.”

Hermione sighed, “The future is going to be different, so I see no harm in you knowing what _won’t_ happen.” Even as she said it, her heart started to race. “The Order of the Phoenix will get reinstated as soon as Dumbledore learns of Voldemort’s return. Grimmauld Place will be the Headquarters. Harry… Harry starts having dreams, visions of Voldemort. Mostly about the Department of Mysteries. There is the Prophecy-”

“That’s why Lily and James went into hiding,” Sirius said gruffly.

“Yes,” Hermione continued, “But Voldemort doesn’t know the whole thing. He is going to try to break into the Department of Mysteries so he can find it and know it. Only one person in this time knows the whole thing… well, two now, I suppose Albus Dumbledore, and me. The Prophecy is not important,” she added as Sirius opened his mouth to speak, “So I won’t be talking about it. But what you need to know is that Harry has visions. That night, when Lily died protecting Harry, the Killing Curse rebounded. They became connected. When Voldemort rises again, the connection will grow much stronger. Somehow Harry can see into his mind and when Voldemort figured out that Harry was in his mind, he planted a fake vision. Of…” Hermione’s chocolate eyes met grey and she frowned, “Of you, Sirius.”

“Me?” Those eyes widened, terror shining in them. “What of me?”

“Voldemort lured Harry in with a vision of you being tortured,” whispered Hermione.

“Fuck. That fucking kid!”

“He’s a lot like James, Padfoot. You can’t fault him for that,” Remus assured him.

“Yes, I can! James could be arrogant and foolish when it came to us, Moony. And it was me, I, I, it’s my-”

“Sirius stop,” Hermione put her hand on his and his shoulders relaxed as he held on to her. “It’s not your fault, it’s Voldemort’s. And it isn’t going to happen.” She smiled at him, reassuringly. “I will not let it happen.” Her voice and gaze did not waver. “I won’t.” She continued to stare at Sirius until he nodded. “So, Harry, Ron, Luna, Neville, Ginny, and I all go to the ministry. Obviously, it was a trap. We all got separated and lost in the Department of Mysteries. Ron had brain tentacles all over him, Ginny broke her ankle, I was hit with the  _Dolor Ignis_ curse.”

“And you _lived_?” gasped Remus.

“Dolohov was silenced when he cast it, thankfully.” At the thought, the purple scar running over her ribs seared painfully. “And then Harry and Neville were cornered in the Death Room. Then you lot showed up. Earlier that year, well, there had been a mass breakout from Azkaban.”

Sirius swore, “No,” his jaw clenched and magic sparked from the end of his wand, which was now in his hand.

“Bellatrix went after you, Sirius, and…” Hermione’s voice broke.

“The cunt killed me, didn’t she?” Sirius growled at her. Hermione glanced at Remus, who paled, his eyes flashing silver. She nodded. “Well, fuck that.”

“My sentiments exactly,” Hermione squeezed Sirius’ hand that she still held. “Fuck that. It’s not happening. None of it is happening. You, you,” Her voice faltered and she swallowed roughly. “You can’t die, Sirius. Harry barely survived after that.” _I won’t survive._ Sirius pulled his hand away from her and stood.

“I need…” He turned and grabbed a bottle of Firewhiskey. The door flew open with a bang and bright sparks from the tip of Sirius’ wand which caused Walburga to start screeching. Another bang and she was silent once more.

Sirius was gone, the door closing softly behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

**JUNE 23rd, 1995**

Hermione and Remus sat in the kitchen in silence. Hermione was crying, face turned away from the wizard next to her. Remus was twirling his wand in his hands, mind whirling. He hoped, he _prayed_ that Dumbledore had a plan. That Dumbledore knew what he was doing. If Sirius died, he would be alone. Again.

Hermione let out a shaky breath and Remus pocketed his wand, reaching over and tugging on Hermione’s arm. She flinched and pulled away from him. Remus scooted away, terrified to touch her again, to be near to her and scare her. Immediately after the act, she turned to him. He was looking down at his hands, one finger tracing a long scar from his forefinger to his wrist. Ashamed.

“Remus, don’t do that, I didn’t mean to, it’s not because-” she reached over and grabbed his hands in hers. His hazel eyes locked with hers and she smiled sadly at him. “I’m not afraid of you. I am just on edge. I promise.” He nodded. “I shouldn’t have told him, Remus. I should have kept quiet.” A new wave of tears filled her eyes. Remus brought one of his hands up to the side of her face, hesitating only for a moment before wiping the tears before they fell too far.

Remus sighed, “No, I think it’s good he knows, Hermione. He will think before he acts. Hopefully,” A small smile played at his lips and he dropped his hand. “Besides, it’s already after ten o'clock. Time for his morning drink anyway.”

“Should I, should we?” she gestured towards the door.

“No, I think we should leave him be for a while. There is a long history with Bellatrix that I’m sure he’s actively trying not to remember. Things he didn’t even tell James and me. The Black’s were very secretive. We didn’t know much about them. Sirius ran away and lived with the Potters right after his 16th birthday. Something happened that Christmas at his house… he never talked about it. But Charlus and Dorea took him in without a second thought.” Remus smiled wider at the thought, “They always had open arms for their son’s werewolf friend.”

“They knew?”

“Oh, yes, James could never keep a secret from his mum.”

“... What happened to them?” Hermione asked.

“Well, they were quite old, actually. So when Mrs Potter contracted Dragon Pox, the cure couldn’t help because it had advanced so rapidly. And Mr Potter refused to leave her side. He died two days after her. It was 3 months after James and Lily’s wedding.”

“That’s so sad. Beautiful. But sad.” Hermione murmured, eyes cast down. She was most likely stuck here in the past, and even in her future, her parents did not know who she was. They would never see her marry. Never even see her again. None of that mattered, though. Not if Harry lived. If everyone lived.

As if he knew, Remus squeezed her hands and said, “It will be okay, Hermione. You came back for a reason, and I’m betting Padfoot and I will do anything to help you get the future you deserve.”

“What happens after, though? How will I stay here? How will we make young Hermione come back and fix everything if it’s not already broken?”

“We will find a way to figure it out, love,” Remus reassured her, running the pad of his thumb across her knuckles. Her eyes filled with tears again and she huffed in frustration, blowing hair from her face.

“I am so _frustrated_ , Remus! I just have so many new thoughts and feelings that I have been shoving down for years and now they’re all coming to the surface at once. I’ve been so alone,” Her voice broke and Remus' hazel eyes flashed momentarily silver at the sound. “Horrible… horrible things happened to us, to me, and I don’t know how to talk about it. Or stop it all from happening again. I can’t… I can’t go through it again. I won’t survive it.”

“I think maybe taking a step back might help. You’ve had a rough few days, Hermione. Give yourself some credit. Flying ten years into the past is no small thing,” He smiled at her, “Now, I won’t deny that you have a big job ahead of you. We all do. But that’s the thing. You’re not alone anymore. You’ve got me. You’ve got Sirius. I know we’re not much but hey, you’ve got us. Soon you’ll have the whole Order backing you, I assume.

“I trust Dumbledore. I trust that he has a plan. Or at least that he will make one now that you’re here. I think we just need to focus on getting Sirius through the next few days and we can talk about the rest of the future afterwards. I’m worried about how he will take Harry going through this.”

“I’m worried too,” Hermione admitted, Remus nodded, sighing. He let go of her hands and rubbed his face. He had not shaved for a few days and there was soot on the bottom of his chin. Hermione reached out without thinking and rubbed at the soot, cleaning his face. Remus tensed at the closeness. There was a familiarity between the two of them that he wasn’t used to having with anyone aside from Sirius. She wasn’t afraid of him. Instead of moving her hand away, she let it sit on the side of his face. It was easy to be close to him. She felt safe, even though society had often told her that werewolves were not. A smile played on her lips as she thought of the beautiful, majestic wolf she had seen some eleven years ago.

Remus cleared his throat and stood, moving away from her and her touch. He couldn’t stop the wolf in him from roaring at the scent of her. She smelled like the Hogwarts library, flowers in the meadow behind his cottage, fresh sheets, and special spell-correction quill ink - the same kind Remus used. He turned away from her, trying to hide the silver he knew was in his eyes. He checked the time.

“Do you want me to help make some food?” Remus rolled up his sleeves.

Hermione paused, “Are you better than Sirius?”

“Loads,” Remus grinned, “Though that isn’t saying much.” Hermione laughed. She caught a glimpse of herself in a grimy mirror and gasped.

“Is that _really_ what my hair looks like?” Her hair was bigger than she’d ever seen. She pulled a hair tie from her pocket and wrapped her hair into a messy bun on the top of her head. Remus laughed at her while she tried to tame the wild curls. “Oi, shut it!” Though she laughed too. “I... I think I should check on Sirius,”

“That might be a good idea. I would take another bottle with you, though.” He gestured to the firewhiskey on the shelves next to the door.

Hermione grabbed a bottle and walked through the door. “I’ll be right back,” Climbing up the stairs she thought about how comfortable she had become with the two men in the house with her. Comfortability came easy when you were forced to spend time together. And easy it was. There was no more denying how much she wanted to be around either of them. How safe Sirius made her feel this morning. Sirius, who was strong and brave and had survived the last twelve years in prison so he could avenge his friends and protect his godson, was worried. About her. He was worried about the dreams she had, and her feeling alone. She assumed it was because he had spent so much time alone himself.

She reached the landing where Sirius’ room was. The door to her’s was still ajar from this morning. Buzzing filled her ears and she knew Sirius had cast ‘ _Muffliato_ ’ to keep her and Remus away.

Hermione muttered, “ _Finite_ ,” and the silence vanished, giving way to a loud crash. She winced and unlocked the door with a wave of her wand. The room was a wreck. Papers were thrown all over the floor. The lamps that lined the walls were all broken. Different trinkets were in shattered piles around the room. Gryffindor banners hung in tatters along the walls. Hermione spotted the empty bottle of Firewhiskey laying amongst the rubble. Sirius waved his wand and everything righted itself, only for him to grab the nearest lamp and throw it across the room once more.

“Sirius?” Hermione whispered, not wanting to take a chance by stepping into the room. He didn’t hear her. Or ignored her as he threw a wooden memento box against the wall. “Sirius, please,” She begged. He turned to grab another item of the shelf. “Padfoot?” At the nickname he stopped, dropping his hands and turning to her. Hermione moved towards him, placing the bottle of Ogden’s Finest down. “Come here,” she opened her arms and pulled him down into them.

“‘Mione-” He choked out, voice cracking.

“It’s okay, love,” She held him tight and finally felt him relax against her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Sirius took huge, heavy breaths, burying his face in her neck. He screwed up his face against the wave of feeling that threatened to overwhelm him. “It’s okay, Sirius. It hasn’t happened yet. We can stop it from happening.” He nodded against her neck and she felt big, hot tears drip onto her skin. “Oh, love, what is it?” He shook his head, nuzzling deeper. She smiled, thinking how dog-like he was at that moment. She continued to stroke his hair with one hand while holding him close with the other.

Hermione heard Remus come into the room, his feet crunching the glass littering the floor. She turned her face to look at him, not letting go of the distraught man in her arms. He was smiling sadly at the two of them. His hazel eyes started to shine with tears as he walked over and pulled on Sirius’ arm. Sirius turned and grabbed Remus roughly, though not letting go of Hermione’s waist. She was pulled into their embrace.

“Pads,” said Remus, gruffly, “Come on,” He awkwardly shuffled the three of them to the bed, where they extracted Sirius, laying him down. His eyes were rimmed red and he held onto Remus’ hand, while his other stayed wrapped around Hermione. He was shaking, much like she did after her nightmare.

“Sirius,” She murmured, smoothing his hair back. She locked eyes with Remus and tears were running freely down his cheeks. He pulled out a small vial and pulled out the stopper.

“Calming Draught,” He said at her raised eyebrows, “Alright, Pads,” Remus held the potion to his lips, “There we go,” as the potion slid down his throat, Sirius’ grip on Hermione loosened and he rolled over in bed. Remus let go of his hand and grabbed Hermione’s, pulling her from the room. Before shutting the door, Remus waved his wand, resetting the room. The unopened firewhiskey soared into his outstretched hand as the door closed softly behind them. 

Once back in the kitchen Hermione pulled the firewhiskey from his hand, opening the bottle and pouring them both a glass.

“Does this… does this happen often?” Hermione asked tentatively, taking a sip of the amber liquid.

“Honestly, Hermione, I don’t know. It happened once when he stayed with me right after we’d reunited. On Harry’s birthday.” Remus sighed, his lined face pale and sweaty, “Though it is to be expected. After twelve years in Azkaban, it’s hard to believe he’s not far worse than he is now. People come out of Azkaban far more broken, far more deranged. He’s lucky.”

“Given the circumstances, I suppose so,” she grumbled, angry at the fact that he was even imprisoned in the first place. She was determined to give Sirius his revenge on Peter Pettigrew if it was the last thing she did. It was the least he deserved.

* * *

Remus and Hermione passed the afternoon by holing up in the library, reading. Hermione had found an interesting book on ancient Arithmancy. Remus was reading the latest update of _Magical Hieroglyphs and Logograms._ They had enjoyed hours of silence before there was a soft knock at the entryway of the room. Sirius stood, frowning. He had changed and showered, his hair still damp.

“Sorry about that, Moony. Hermione.” He nodded at both of them and sat in one of the ornate armchairs across from the loveseat Hermione was sprawled on.

“Quite alright, Sirius.”

“S’okay, Pads,” Remus said, turning back to his reading.

Hermione shut her book and sat up, “Do you want to talk-”

“No.”

“But Siri-”

“No, Hermione,” Sirius’ grey eyes were narrowed. Hermione huffed, sparks glittering out of the end of her braid. She rolled her eyes and opened her book again. Sirius stood and tapped the large radio in the corner.

 _“How do you know if someone's a pureblood? ...Don't worry they'll let you know!”_ Sirius chuckled at the static sounds coming from the radio, “ _This is Cloaked Collar Comedy and we will be right back…”_

* * *

Hermione knew she should be sleeping. It was 2:07 in the morning. She had woken from a nightmare a few hours ago and hadn’t gone back to sleep. Sleep seemed impossible when the rise of the world’s greatest dark wizard was in less than 24 hours. She had curled up in the big bed, wrapped in Sirius’ large shirt and the fluffy duvet he had transfigured for her. Untangling herself from the blankets, she stood and moved to press her face against the door.

“Sirius?” She whispered. She heard a gasp and someone getting to their feet.

“You alright?” Came Sirius’ voice through the wood. She opened it and reached through the dark for him. He wrapped his arms around her and she held him close. “What’s wrong? Nightmare?” She shook her head and buried her face deeper in his chest. A small smile played on her lips. _Home_. She startled herself with the thought. She always thought of Hogwarts as home, or the house her parents had owned before the moved to Australia. She had always thought of it as a place, but Sirius had suddenly made it a person.

As Hermione nuzzled into his chest, Sirius had no qualms about burying his face in her mess of curls. They were still slightly damp from her shower hours ago, but they smelled deeply like her. Remus had bought her a shampoo that smelled like mint and honey and, fuck if he knew how, safety. Under that scent was hers though, and Merlin he didn’t think he could ever get enough. Not of the smell. Not of her.

“Stay with me?” She whispered, looking up at him. Their eyes met and he nodded, letting her pull him to the bed. She climbed in, opening the covers to let him crawl in after. They both thought it should be awkward, but it was easy to let their arms wrap around one another in bed. Hermione sighed contentedly into his chest. It rumbled with a small laugh from Sirius, as he pulled his fingers through her wild, albeit untangled, hair.

Hermione thought it must be impossible to have a bad dream when Sirius was here. His cousin’s face would not haunt every one of her sleeping hours if he was next to her.

“I’m scared,” Sirius breathed, almost inaudibly into her ear. She nodded pulling him closer. “I was scared before… but now, knowing what’s coming…. He’s my boy, Hermione.” His breath caught on her name and he sucked in a shaking gasp. “I can’t let James and Lily down.”

“You won’t,” Hermione ran her fingers idly up and down his arm. “I won’t let you.”

“You don’t know that-”

Hermione cut him off, “I do, Sirius. I came back for a reason. I would rather die than let my future unfold,” Sirius held her tighter at the mention of death, shaking his head.

“I won’t let that happen.”

“Good. You don’t let me die. I make sure you don’t fuck up,” Hermione smiled at him and he smiled reluctantly back. “We’re gonna be okay, Sirius. Trust me?”

“I do.”

“Good.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much to everyone reviewing! I promise I am making my way through them slowly. You are all such wonderful shining humans and I appreciate you so much!

**24 JUNE 1995**

Hermione was too hot. Opening her eyes, she squinted against the early morning sunlight streaming through the window, past the curtains she had forgotten to close last night. Sirius Black had his arms and legs wrapped around her, his head laying on her stomach. She giggled and the movement caused him to open his eyes. He turned his head to look at her, a grin on his face, not letting her out of his embrace. 

“Morning, Sirius. See you slept well.”

“Padfoot likes you,” He said, nuzzling into her tummy, causing her to laugh. “I like you,” he whispered, barely loud enough for Hermione to hear, though she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to. Instead of pushing him off, she stroked his hair, letting them have this moment together before the day came rushing in. It was early, before six. Plenty of time before the task. 

“Sirius?”

“Mmm?”

“Thank you for staying with me,” Hermione was surprised to find herself unembarrassed by his presence in her bed. Sirius Black had gone from her best friend’s godfather to… well, to whatever he was, in just a few days. 

“Anytime,” She could feel his smile against her skin. He gasped, softly, his fingers tracing the thin line of exposed skin between her shirt and pyjama bottoms. “Is this where…” He was touching the dark purple scar that ran across her ribs and up her chest. 

“Yes,” Hermione closed her eyes, waiting for the scar to twinge at the touch. But his fingers were light, and no pain came. The rough skin tingled under his touch,  _ feeling _ something for the first time since the curse struck her. It was no longer numb to the touch. She could  _ feel _ his callused skin meeting hers softly. 

Tears prickled in her eyes and her hands froze in Sirius’ hair. 

“I’m sorry, are you alright?” Sirius asked, turning to look at her, “Did that hurt you?”

“Quite the opposite actually,” she smiled at him, though his chin was digging into her stomach, “It hasn’t really been touched in years and whenever it has been touched by me - or others - it hurts. But it didn’t hurt this time.”

“Oh,” Sirius turned to lay his cheek back against her again, “that’s good then.”

“It is,” Hermione whispered. 

Sirius yawned, “can we go back to sleep? It’s not even five yet.” Hermione laughed and grabbed her wand from the bedside table. With a small swish, the curtains closed and the room fell into darkness. Sirius breathed a sigh a relief and relaxed further into the bed. Hermione continued to run her hand through his hair, the other resting lightly on his back. Her eyes closed easily, the feeling of safety and warmth he brought her pulling her closer and closer to sleep.

“Hermione?”

“Mmm?” She mimicked his sleepy response.

“Thank you for being here,” Sirius mumbled against her shirt, “ I know you didn’t choose it. I know it’s probably not your first choice in a place to be. But I am… grateful that you’re here. You know, with me.”

“No, I didn’t choose it,” Hermione admitted, “But I wouldn’t change it for anything. I am grateful to be here,” She paused, taking a deep breath, “With you.” She was smiling into the darkness, and she could feel Sirius’ grin against her belly. His hand reached up and clasped her hand. He brought it to his mouth and gently kissed the knuckles, his scruff tickling her fingers. Their hands intertwined and they both fell into slumber once more. 

* * *

 

“Shh, shhh, Hermione,” Sirius rocked the young witch gently in his arms. He’d woken moments ago to shrieks and jerks that had thrown him from the bed. They were not shrieks of anguish or terror. They were cries of excruciating pain. The way she twitched in his arms told him that she’d been tortured with the Cruciartus Curse. He knew the spasms well, after living in his house, in his family. 

“No! Please!” Hermione pleaded, pushing against him. Sirius held her tighter and smoothed back her sweat dampened hair. 

“Hermione, shh, please wake up, love,” he begged her, “Hermione,” With a great shout her eyes flew open. Instead of shoving him away like the first night he’d woken her, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

“Oh god oh god oh god,” She whimpered. 

“Hermione, it’s okay You’re safe. I’m right here, love,” Sirius couldn’t help his voice from catching as emotion welled in his throat.

“I didn’t think this would happen with you here. I thought,” She heaved a great sob, “I thought I was safe.” She pulled him closer and sobbed into his chest. He closed his eyes, pained that he  _ hadn’t _ kept her safe. That he didn’t know  _ how. _ To see her so terrified, so inconsolable, made him feel utterly helpless. He just held her as she cried, not knowing what else would comfort her. 

When her breathing finally evened out once more she let out a groan. 

“What?” asked Sirius, bewildered. 

She grumbled against his neck, “This keeps happening.”

“What does?”

“One of us crying in each other's arms.”

“Oh,” Sirius frowned, “Well there’s no denying that we’re fucked up, Granger.” Hermione chuckled and finally pulled herself free from his arms. There was no awkwardness anymore. As if they had always been this close and comfortable with one another. 

“ _ Tempus _ , _ ”  _ Hermione muttered, “Merlin, Sirius, it’s almost eleven.”

“Guess we needed the beauty sleep,” He said, laying back against the pillows. He watched as she scrambled to the wardrobe, pulling out clothes. She turned to him. 

“Sirius.”

“Hermione.”

“You have to leave. I need to change.”

“Now, when you say ‘have to’...” Sirius grinned. 

“I mean get out,” Hermione rolled her eyes, throwing a pair of socks at him. His grin widened as he pushed out of the bed, pulling his t-shirt over his head. Hermione blushed as her eyes wandered over his inked skin. 

“Oi, if I can’t, neither can you,” Sirius laughed, throwing his shirt over his shoulder and sauntering from the room. Hermione huffed, though a small smile played at her lips. She wanted to tell fifteen-year-old Hermione that she had just woken up in bed with Sirius Black. 

Young Hermione Granger would have pissed herself. 

* * *

 

After quickly changing his clothes Sirius made his way downstairs, pausing to listen to Kretcher grumbling in the drawing room. 

He pushed the door open to the kitchen and let out a yell.

“Morning, Pads.”

“ _ Fuck  _ Moony! What the fuck!”

“Seems like you had a nice lie in with Miss Hermione Granger,” Remus taunted, eyebrows raised. Two steaming cups of coffee sat on the table across from him. Tucking his book away, Remus crossed his arms over his chest, staring expectantly at Sirius. 

“It’s not what you think,” Sirius insisted, sitting and grabbing the coffee. Remus snorted and shook his head. “It’s not, Moony,” Sirius was looking at Remus, unblinking. 

“You’re telling me that  _ Sirius Orion Black _ didn’t shag the beautiful girl he was in bed with?”

“No, I didn’t. Thanks for the vote of confidence, though,” Sirius muttered. 

Remus’ eyes softened, “What’s up, Pads?” Sirius sighed and gazed at his friend. 

“She has these nightmares, Remus. They’re bad. Really bad. She screams like she’s being tortured,” Sirius looked down sheepishly, “So I’ve been sleeping outside her door just in case.” Remus sucked in a breath, but Sirius kept talking, “And last night she asked me to stay with her, and it’s not like I could say no. So I did. We slept. We talked.”

“You…  _ talked _ ?” Remus asked, incredulously. 

“Yes, Moony. We talked. I saw the scar on her ribs. We talked about being scared. About how we… appreciated each other.”

“And you’re telling me you didn’t shag?” Remus’ eyes were narrowed.

Sirius glared at him, “No!”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well I don’t care if you don’t believe me, it’s the truth you prick,” Sirius growled at the werewolf across from him. Remus’ eyes flashed silver and he opened his mouth to retort. “I’m not saying I don’t  _ want _ to!”

“Oh, there it is,” Remus grumbled, rolling his eyes, “Of course you do.”

“What the hell are you bickering about?” Hermione asked, looking between the two of them. The door shut softly behind her and the two men had the grace to look ashamed. 

“Nothing,” they said together. Hermione huffed, hands on her hips. Sirius and Remus didn’t look at each other or the woman in front of them. 

“Merlin, you two,” she said as she sat next to Sirius. The three of them sat in silence drinking their coffees for several minutes. Hermione noticed Sirius twisting the ring on his finger. Remus had pulled out his book once more and Hermione wanted to do the same. 

“When do we have to go to the school?” Sirius asked aloud, breaking the quiet. 

“The task starts at dusk.” Hermione told him, “So not until 9:30 or so.”

“Okay.”

“But I was thinking,” Hermione murmured, “Mrs Weasley and Bill are visiting with Harry today. I’m going to floo-call Dumbledore about it and see if we can’t get the two of you to see him too.”

“Really?” Sirius’ eyes lit up and he grinned at her. 

Hermione sighed, “I don’t know if he’ll agree to it, but I thought it might be nice to try.” She stood and walked over to the fireplace. The powder poured through her fingers as she through it into the soot, green flames igniting. “Headmaster’s Office, Hogwarts School,” she declared loudly. 

“This is Albus,” came a voice, “I’m alone,” he added. 

“Hi, Professor. This is Hermione. Do you have a minute to talk?” with a great green woosh of heat, Albus Dumbledore stood before her. 

“Good day, Hermione,” Dumbledore nodded his head at the three of them in turn. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I know Mrs. Weasley and Bill are visiting with Harry today and I was hoping you would let Sirius visit with him too, as Padfoot.” Hermione added, “and Remus. Everyone knew they were close and I think it would give Harry a boost of morale if that could happen.” Sirius and Remus watched Hermione keep direct eye contact with Dumbledore’s sparkling eyes before he finally smiled and nodded. 

“I think that would be fine,” Dumbledore turned to go back to the floo. 

“I would like to come too, sir,” she blurted. “I have an invisibility cloak.”

Sirius muttered, “Of  _ course _ she does,” to Remus who shook his head, smiling. 

“Very well. As long as the three of you do not plan to jeopardize what must take place tonight,” Dumbledore studied Sirius’ face. “You must give me your word.”

“Yes sir,” Hermione and Remus said automatically. Hermione looked round at Sirius, pleading with her eyes. 

“Yes, alright, fine,” he grumbled. Dumbledore smiled again and stepped into the floo. The three followed in a line after, Hermione grabbing her small bag before jumping in after them. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends - sorry, long time no update. Here now. It's coming along. Expect more soon!

**JUNE 24 1995**

 

Hermione’s breath caught in her throat the moment she emerged into the Headmaster’s office. She cursed herself for thinking she could handle being back at Hogwarts. As soon as the battle ended, she had found herself at the Burrow with the Weasley’s for a few days before travelling to Australia to find her parents. Being at the Weasley’s had been torture. Everyone had been so broken. Molly had hidden in her room and wasn’t seen for weeks, no one could find George. Arthur had destroyed his entire Muggle workshop. It had been unbearable. Finding out her parents would never know her again had been an easier experience for Hermione then being surrounded by what was left of the Weasleys.

The whole Wizarding World knew her name. Knew her as the only surviving member of the Golden Trio. Her fame, and her fear, had sent her running into Muggle London where she had stayed for the last 7 years. And there she remained, cutting off all contact, apart from the Sunday Prophet,  from the world she once thrived in. Even Minerva had stopped owling her after five years had passed. There had been days when she could forget where she’d come from and what she’d done. There were even nights where she didn’t have nightmares reminding her. 

But now, standing in Hogwarts - an unruined, untouched Hogwarts - she couldn’t stop seeing the faces of those who she’d lost. Couldn’t get Molly’s scream of pure agony at her children’s deaths out of her ears. Couldn’t stop feeling Harry’s unmoving chest under her worried hands. 

Distantly, she heard people talking. Remus and Dumbledore discussing how to get down to the grounds where Harry was. The office around her blurred. Grey eyes came into focus in front of her, hands touched the sides of her face and they caught her as she collapsed. Eyes wide, Hermione sat awkwardly on the floor, pushing away the hands trying to help her. Persistently, they held onto her shoulders. No breath could enter her lungs as she curled up on the Headmaster’s lush rug. 

“Hermione,” a gruff voice pushed through the white noise flooding her ears, “Hermione, breathe,” On command, a deep breath filled her and the world came into sharper focus. “Breathe with me,” She was surprised to find herself gripping Sirius’ shirt with both her hands. She could sense rather than see Remus and Dumbledore behind him, but she kept herself focused on Sirius and the breaths coming in and out of his lungs. 

“Why don’t you two go down to the grounds to meet Harry and I can talk with Miss Granger,” Dumbledore offered. 

Sirius snarled, “No,” He ignored Dumbledore as he continued to try to get Sirius to leave the office. His grey eyes gripped hers, refusing to look away. Refusing to let her believe for a second that she was alone. Sirius realized that this must be what happened in her nightmares, but now she was awake. The tension of unreleased screams gripped her jaw tight and terror shone in her eyes as she blinked at him, trying to calm her breaths. He stayed sitting on the ground in front of Hermione as she came back to herself, pale face blushing furiously. 

“I’m-”

“Please don’t say you’re sorry,” he whispered softly to her. “New space. Or, well, old space I suppose.” 

“Yes,” she breathed, lower lip shaking. 

Remus knelt down beside Sirius, “You alright, ‘Mione?” He smiled lopsidedly at her and she couldn’t help the feeble twitch of her lips. She nodded, eyes searching the ground. A panic attack, sure. She hadn’t had a proper one of those in years, not since the first time Neville had shown up on her doorstep three years ago. Thankfully, the shaking in her hands had all but subsided. Remus clapped Sirius on the back and stood, moving across the room so Dumbledore would follow. Sirius sought Hermione’s eyes as tears finally filled them. 

“Oh, Hermione,” Sirius’ hand cupped her face, his thumb calmly tracing her still clenched jaw. She leaned her cheek into his hand, closing her eyes as tears started running down her face. His other hand brushed stray curls away from her face. “Something truly horrible happens at Hogwarts, doesn’t it?” He asked, so quietly she could barely hear him. Hermione opened her eyes, chocolate meeting ice, and imperceptibly nodded as a fresh wave of silent tears rushed down her face. Sirius’ gaze didn’t waver. His jaw tightened and nostrils flared, but he stayed with Hermione, eyes never leaving hers. 

“I want to see Harry,” she finally said in a small voice, sniffing. 

“Let’s go see Harry then,” Sirius stood, pulling Hermione up with him. She let go of his hand and pulled away, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. 

Dumbledore turned to them, “Though you may see Harry, Miss Granger, he can not-” 

“Not see me, yes, I’ve got it,” She said through clenched teeth, eyes narrowed. Glaring at the Headmaster, she grabbed the invisibility cloak and threw it over herself, vanishing from sight. Sirius transformed into Padfoot and tilted his head to the side questioningly at the Headmaster. Before following Dumbledore down the stairs, Remus smiled reassuringly at Hermione’s invisible form. 

Walking through Hogwarts felt like walking through a graveyard. She had skipped all anniversaries and memorials for this reason. She could see where Lavender had been ripped open, where Fred’s laugh had disappeared, where Colin had fallen. 

When they reached the entrance hall, Hermione felt her breath catch again. Taking a deep breath, she tried to shove down the wave of panic that threatened to overtake her. The large bearlike dog in front of her whined, turning towards her general direction. 

“It’s okay Padfoot,” Hermione whispered, knowing that his animagus hearing would pick up her small voice, even among the din of students. Padfoot’s ears peaked and he trotted past her. 

“PADFOOT!” Harry roared, as Padfoot bounded toward him. Hermione spun, inhaling sharply at the sight of her best friend, her brother, a shining fourteen-year-old. His green eyes sparkled with a grin as Padfoot collided with him, knocking them to the ground. Hermione stifled a laugh, eyes wet. She stared at Harry hungrily. Even with the task coming up in a few hours he looked carefree and joyful being pinned under Sirius.  

“Hello Harry,” Remus said, smiling down at the two of them. 

“Professor Lupin!”

“I think Remus is alright, Harry,” Remus held out a hand and helped Harry to his feet. Padfoot bowed low, in play mode. 

“Alright Padfoot,” Dumbledore said calmly, from Hermione’s side. Padfoot growled softly and sat, looking expectantly at the boy in front of him. Hermione couldn’t take her eyes off the grin painted on his face and his messy, uncontrollable hair.

Harry. Her Harry. He was safe, alive, vibrant. 

And tonight would break him. The tall, sweet, underweight boy would be bleeding, haunted, and, unexpectedly, no longer a child. 

Hermione followed them all into the Great Hall, moving to stand in a corner near the end of the Gryffindor table where everyone was sitting. With a jolt, she realized that she was feet from where she’d been when she killed Voldemort. Hermione slid down the dark stone wall pulling her knees up to her chest. Under the invisibility cloak, she started to sob, the rumble of the Great Hall drowning out the noise of her grief that somehow continued to overwhelm her. She knew, of course, it was due to the fact that she’d ignored it for the past seven years, ignoring Minerva’s consistent invitations. 

Being here now, in this place, surrounded by so many of those that would be lost, she had never felt more lonely. Remus laughed at a joke from Bill Weasley, and the sound drew her attention back to the table. 

Eyes wide, Hermione saw her younger self walking down the aisle between tables, a smile on her face at the sight of Padfoot sprinting down to meet her. The young girl knelt as the large dog headbutted her stomach and sniffed her face, pressing his nose into her neck. Young Hermione giggled, patting him on the head. 

“Hey Snuffles,” She grinned, standing. 

Hermione stood at the same time as her younger self, wiping her face and moving closer to the table to get a better look at young Hermione. Though frizzier, young Hermione’s hair had far more lustre and shine then Hermione’s had had in the years since the war ended. The chocolate eyes shone with worry, yes, at Harry’s coming task, but also with anticipation and childlike adrenaline. There were no deep, heavy, dark circles under her eyes. 

Young Hermione blushed and waved at Molly, who fixed her with a hard stare. 

“Mrs Weasley, you didn’t believe that rubbish Rita Skeeter wrote in Witch Weekley, did you?” Harry asked, smiling, “Because Hermione’s not my girlfriend.”

“Oh!” Molly stuttered as Padfoot let out a yip. Remus chuckled, sniffing. He glanced over at where the invisible Hermione stood. “No-” Molly blushed as red as Hermione, “Of course I didn’t!”

Both Hermione’s smiled, though older Hermione rolled her eyes, as Molly became abruptly far kinder.

“What would you like to do with the rest of your day, Harry?” Molly asked, raising her eyebrows at the large dog sitting up on the bench next to him. 

“I dunno. I think we should spend some time outside. What do you think, Padfoot?” The dog snapped his teeth in agreement and Molly narrowed her eyes. 

Young Hermione glanced between Mrs Weasley and Padfoot and turned to Remus, “Professor Lupin, thank you for bringing your dog. I think it’s really helped relax Harry.” The older Hermione smiled at her cleverness, enthralled by the conversation that she’d never head. 

Hermione wondered if she would end up with this moment as a memory when the timelines were somehow reconciled.  _ If _ they were ever reconciled. Maybe things had already been too drastically changed for the two timelines to ever reconnect. The conversation shifted to Harry quizzing Remus about what he’d been doing in the year since they’d last seen each other. As lunch ended, young Hermione and Ron headed off to another exam while Harry walked with Molly, Bill, and Remus to the grounds. Padfoot trotted happily ahead of them, jumping to catch butterflies. Hermione trailed behind, watching Harry play with the large dog once they got to the lake. 

“Remus,” Molly said quietly, “Have you heard from Dumbledore recently?”

“Yes. He seems worried,” Remus said under his breath, not taking his eyes off the young boy laying down by the shore. 

“That makes me… well, worried,” Bill muttered, the corner of his mouth quirking up. 

Remus sighed and nodded, “Yes. Something big is coming, I think. We should all be prepared.”

“Do you,” Molly’s breath caught and she cleared her throat. “Do you think that it’s You-Know-Who? Are his followers moving again? What about the werewolves?” Remus tensed and turned to her. 

“I haven’t been in a pack in a long time, Molly.  I don’t know what the werewolves are doing. But yes, Dumbledore has said that he’s seen a rise in follower movement,” Hermione moved away from the three, spotting a large beetle sitting on the tree close to where they were speaking. 

“Fucking cow,” She snarled quietly, slamming her hand over the bug, The beetle struggled against the invisibility cloak and she squatted and put it in her free hand under the cloak. Hermione conjured an all-black jar so Rita couldn’t see Hermione’s face, and tapped her wand against it, spelling it to be unbreakable. Once the beetle was inside, she closed the lid, tucking it inside her extendable bag. Young Hermione would be in for a treat later.

* * *

The rest of the day passed with Harry leading Padfoot around the school. Molly, Bill, and Remus walked with them, discussing the imminent threat that Dumbledore had been hinting at for months. Hermione followed along, still invisible, just happy to see her best friend thriving and happy. They made their way back to the Great Hall for the evening feast. Seeing most of the castle had been difficult, but being in the Great Hall still made her heart stutter and panic rise in her throat. Hermione took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was there for  _ Harry _ , that the reason for being here at all was to save Harry. Save everyone. 

Before entering the hall, Remus stopped, looking forlorn. 

“Harry,” He called. Padfoot and Harry walked over while Hermione stayed close to Remus’ side. 

“You don’t want to stay for the feast Prof- Remus?”

Remus sighed, glancing at the Minister for Magic sitting at the staff table, “I cannot this evening, Harry. There are some that consider me unwelcome. I wish you the very best of luck. I know you’ll be amazing,” Remus’ hazel eyes shone with emotion and he pulled Harry into an unexpected hug. Harry let himself be squeezed and eventually relaxed in the werewolf’s arms. “Be careful, Harry. Take care of yourself. Don’t-” Remus’ voice caught as he pulled Harry back by the shoulders, “Don’t be a hero.” Remus turned on his heel and left the hall. Harry looked down at Padfoot and the dog nudged him towards the Great Hall. 

“You don’t have to leave, do you, Padfoot?” Harry asked. Padfoot shook his head and started padding along towards the Gryffindor table. The tables filled with course after course, none of which Harry ate. Padfoot kept putting chicken legs on Harry’s plate with a growl which he ignored. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Dumbledore said from his podium, “In five minutes’ time I will be asking you to make your way down to the Quidditch pitch for the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament,” Padfoot whined low and nudged his nose in Harry’s back. “Will the champions please follow Mr Bagman down to the stadium now.”

Harry stood, with Padfoot pressing into his side. 

“Good luck, Harry,” young Hermione whispered to him in a hug. The Gryffindor table was alight with applause, every student clapping Harry on the back as he passed. Hermione and Padfoot followed the champions out. Fleur had her nose turned up at the messy-haired dog. 

“Feeling alright, Harry?” Mr Bagman asked him, “Confident?”

“I’m okay,” Harry sighed, “Do you mind if I say goodbye to my dog? He’s got to go back to Professor Lupin.” 

“Of course, my boy!” Mr Bagman ushered the other champions to the front of the maze, while Harry ducked into the champion’s tent with Hermione and Padfoot close behind. The flaps closed and Sirius pulled Harry into a tight hug. Hermione’s eyes prickled at the sight of their embrace. She forced herself to turn and keep watch. 

“You’re gonna be alright, Harry. You just have to get through this maze.” Sirius looked pleadingly over Harry’s shoulder where Hermione was standing, invisible. “You’re- you’re gonna be okay. I-I-”

“I know, Sirius. I know.” Harry held his godfather tighter and then let go. “I have to get back. Please be safe,” Sirius placed a kiss on Harry’s forehead and the boy turned. Sirius reached out and embraced him once more, turning his face away from Hermione. Harry looked puzzled, concerned, and nodded, squeezing Sirius’ shoulders and pulling them apart.

Hermione moved out of the way and Harry left, the entrance of the tent flapping against the wind. Sirius dropped to his hands and knees and Hermione rushed to his side, kneeling and throwing the invisibility cloak over both of them. She wrapped her arms around him and he pulled her to him, sobs catching in his throat. 

“It’s okay, love. He  _ will _ be okay,” Hermione whispered into his messy black hair. 

“I let him… I let him walk into that maze, Hermione. I am so,” Sirius let out a shaky breath, “Ashamed.”

“Don’t be ashamed. You did wonderfully today,” Hermione smiled at him and he finally looked at her, “In my time, you didn’t get to have this day with Harry.”

“Really?”

“Really. You have given him a beautiful day, and Merlin he loves you.” Hermione pushed the long stray hairs from Sirius’ face. “It’s all going to be alright.” A clearing of the throat caused them to look away from one another. Dumbledore stood at the opening of the tent. 

“If anyone were to want to wait for the Third Task to end, I would suggest it be in the Pumpkin Patch.” Sirius shifted and walked out from underneath the invisibility cloak, moving quickly past the Headmaster. Hermione followed at a jog and they made their way down the grounds towards Hagrid’s Hut to wait. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**JUNE 24 1995**

“Ladies and gentleman the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament is about to begin!” Bagman’s voice tightened Harry’s shoulders and he tried to stop his shaking hands. What Sirius had said to him the tent, just didn’t make sense.

_Don’t touch the cup._

The point was to win, there was no way the cup could have anything dark spelled on it. It had been checked and placed in the maze by Professor Moody, the most vigilant and paranoid Auror of them all. 

_Don’t touch the cup._

“Harry and Cedric - three, two, one!” The whistle blew and Harry ran forward. 

* * *

“Harry!” Cedric was screaming for him from far away. “Are you alright?” Cedric bent over to help him up, “Did it fall on you?”

“No,” Harry tried to stand, bile rising in his throat as his leg shook beneath him. His vision blurred. Cedric wasn’t looking at Harry, he was staring at the gleaming cup a few feet from them.  _Don’t touch the cup._ What Sirius said struck him again. Cedric couldn’t touch it, because something horrible waited on the other side. Sirius wouldn’t have warned him otherwise. But Harry didn’t say anything as Cedric moved toward the centre of the maze. Hufflepuff deserved the glory of having a champion. If it was truly horrible, Sirius wouldn’t have let him into the maze, Harry concluded. 

Cedric turned to look at Harry, “You should take it. You've saved me twice in here.”

“That’s not how it works,” Harry retorted, but his brain told him otherwise. He needed to take the cup so Cedric didn’t. So Cedric was safe. Harry couldn’t stop the gut feeling that danger lay on the other side, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself. 

“Together then,” Cedric blurted and grabbed Harry under the shoulders. 

“No-” Cedric pulled Harry along towards the cup, “Cedric, no, I don’t think either of us should touch it!”

Cedric beamed at him, “On three-”

“No!”

“One, two, three-” Cedric reached for the handle and Harry grabbed it with him, desperate to make sure Cedric wasn’t in jeopardy. The moment their hands grasped the handles, their feet left the ground. The wind rushed through their robes, their ears, drowning out Harry’s cries. 

They landed heavily in a graveyard and Harry stood immediately to his feet. 

“Did anyone tell you the cup was a Portkey?” Cedric asked, eyes glancing to Harry’s drawn wand. 

“No,” Harry thought bitterly. Sirius had tried to warn him and he hadn’t listened. Harry looked over at the large grave in front of him. 

_Tom Riddle_

“No!” Harry backed away from the grave quickly, leg protesting, “You have to get out Cedric. Go, touch the cup! Go!” Cedric was looking at Harry quizzically. Harry opened his mouth again to insist Cedric run when his scar burst into pain. White-hot agony ran down his face and he fell to his knees, a scream ripping from his throat. 

“Harry!” Someone called his name. 

“ _Kill the spare!_ ”

* * *

**JUNE 25 1995**

The screams began to reach the pair hidden in the garden near Hagrid’s hut. It was well after midnight now. Padfoot tensed and let out a low whine. Hermione, hidden beneath the Invisibility Cloak, put her hand on the dog’s back and it whined again. They both knew they were not screams of exhilaration or triumph. Pure terror had taken over the enclosure where Harry had just appeared with the body of Cedric Diggory. _He’ll be okay, he’ll be okay, he’ll be okay,_ Hermione was telling herself desperately, as the memories of that night flooded her brain. Seeing Harry refusing to let go of his grip on Cedric. Amos Diggory’s long endless scream. Harry being pulled to his unsteady feet, blood soaking his robes.

Hermione was ready for Minerva McGonagall to come running down to the pumpkin patch. She nudged Sirius and he turned to the witch rushing towards him. McGonagall spoke loudly to Padfoot, “Dumbledore needs you to come to his office immediately.”  Sirius set off, trotting, Hermione running behind him. 

McGonagall kept up with the large black dog, giving the stone gargoyle the password so Sirius and Hermione could enter. As soon as the door closed behind them Padfoot transformed and Hermione ripped off the Invisibility Cloak. 

“Oh fuck, Hermione what am I going to do? Fuck fuck fuck,” Sirius was pacing, pulling at his long hair. Soon Dumbledore would enter with Harry, and the two of them would have to listen to Harry reliving the past several hours. Hermione had never told Sirius the details of the graveyard - she honestly didn’t know the extent of them, as Harry had barely ever talked about it. Heavy breaths filled the room as Sirius collapsed into the chair opposite Dumbledore’s desk. Hermione rushed to his side, kneeling to meet his wild and panicked eyes.

“Sirius, look at me,” she put her hands on either side of his face, “You are going to sit by Harry’s side and be with him. You are going to listen and hold his hand and be his godfather. It will be hard. It will hurt, you know it will. But Harry needs you, alright? This has to be the worst night of his life and he needs you to be here. To be his foundation. You’re going to be okay. Harry _will be okay._  I promise.” 

“I told him, ‘Mione,” Sirius cried, grabbing her face too, “I told him not to touch the cup-”

“You what?” Hermione gasped and her mouth dropped open in shock, at a loss for words. Surely he wasn’t that stupid. If Harry told Dumbledore that Sirius had warned him…

They heard Dumbledore’s footsteps coming up the stone stairs, louder than usual so she had time to dive for the Invisibility Cloak and throw it over herself.

The door opened and Harry stumbled in, supported by Dumbledore. Sirius jumped up from the chair and rushed to Harry’s side, putting an arm under the young boy. Hermione’s eyes feasted on her best friend, broken as he was in this moment, so different than the bright young boy that she’d seen earlier that day.

“Harry, are you alright? I knew it - I knew something like this - what happened?” Sirius was shaking from head to toe as he helped Harry into one of the chairs. Dumbledore and Sirius both sat down as Dumbledore began to explain the unfortunate journey of Barty Crouch Jr. Hermione tiptoed behind Dumbledore’s chair so she could look at Harry as much as possible. He was so young, so tired, so hurt. Her best friend was still  _alive_ and she was so desperately determined to make sure that he stayed that way. 

Hermione half-listened to Dumbledore tell Sirius about young Crouch’s plan to get Harry to the graveyard. Fawkes had landed on Harry’s knee and he was stroking the large bird. The bird was comforting him, and for that she was thankful.

“I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry,” said Dumbledore. Hermione quietly rushed back to Sirius’ side and put a cloak covered hand on his shoulder. Sirius answered before Harry could, asking Dumbledore to let Harry rest. Sirius mimicked Hermione, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. Dumbledore stared at Harry until their eyes met. When Dumbledore spoke again it was with reverence and softness that Hermione had never heard from the Headmaster. 

“If I thought I could help you by putting you into an enchanted sleep and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what has happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you. I ask you to demonstrate your courage one more time. I ask you to tell us what happened.”

At that moment, the large phoenix let out a deep coo, which seemed to straighten Harry’s spine and steel him for what he would have to tell Dumbledore and his godfather.

“The cup was a Portkey. Cedric and I had faced a spider in the maze and I stopped it from getting to him, so he wanted me to take the cup. I wanted him to at first,” Harry’s eyes flitted to Sirius’ and Sirius gave a shake of the head. “But then I told him no, and he insisted we take it together.” Harry’s face screwed up and he took shallow, shaking breaths. 

“The cup took us to a graveyard. Cedric and I took out our wands. I thought it must be a part of the task, but no one had told us so we weren’t sure. Then I saw the grave - Tom Riddle’s grave - and someone coming and my scar, it just exploded into pain. It has never hurt like that before. I fell to the ground and then there was a voice - Voldemort’s voice. He said, ' _kill the spare,'_  and then… then...he did. I saw him kill Cedric,” Harry said awkwardly. Sirius tried to speak but Hermione squeezed his shoulder at the same time Dumbledore held up a hand. He nodded at Harry to continue. 

“Then I was lifted and tied to the grave. Voldemort’s father’s. I was tied to it and I couldn’t talk. The bundle of robes that was Voldemort was laying at the bottom of it and then,” Harry looked at Sirius, eyes shining, “Wormtail pushed a cauldron forward,” Sirius tensed at the name and opened his mouth again, only to be stopped by Dumbledore’s hand once more. Hermione held his shoulder tighter, her own hands shaking. “It was huge - I’m not sure what it was filled with, but Wormtail pulled out the… thing… that was Voldemort,” Harry shuddered and closed his eyes. “It was like a baby, but it was dark red and covered with flaky scales. All its limbs were long and bony and its eyes… its eyes were red, like his...

“Wormtail threw it into the cauldron. Then he pulled bone dust from the ground.  _‘bone of the father’,_ ” Harry quoted, “Then Wormtail, well, he cut off his hand and put it in, ‘ _flesh of the servant,’_ and then Wormtail came over and sliced my arm-”

“Fuck!” Sirius bellowed as Dumbledore sprang to his feet. Harry jumped and Hermione let out a gasp. 

“Hold out your arm, Harry,” said Dumbledore, extending his hand. Harry placed his hand in it and Dumbledore pushed up Harry’s robe to examine the cut. 

“He said my blood would make him stronger than if he used someone else’s. He said the protection my-” Harry stuttered, “my mother left in me, that he’d have it too. And he could touch me without hurting himself, he touched my face.” He and Hermione both shuddered at the thought of Voldemort’s skeleton fingers. Dumbledore seemed to lose all the spark in his eyes as he sat down across from Harry and Sirius once more. 

“Very well. Voldemort has overcome that particular barrier. Harry, continue, please.”

“Voldemort’s snake was there. Nagini is her name. The potion turned pure white and it was sparking everywhere and then turned to steam. Voldemort was standing in the cauldron and Wormtail put robes on him and then he… he looked at me. His eyes are red and his nose is like a snake and his skin is… like marble. He turned to Wormtail and grabbed his arm. He had a tattoo of the Dark Mark that turned black when Voldemort touched it.

We were in the graveyard near where his father had lived. He told me about his parents. His dad was a muggle, and his mother died giving birth to him and left him in an orphanage,” Harry looked expectantly at Dumbledore but he did not seem surprised by the information. “The Death Eaters were summoned. They all crawled and kissed his robes before standing in a circle…

“He gave Wormtail a new hand… out of some silvery stuff. He said the Dementors would join him and let everyone in Azkaban free. Malfoy asked him how he came back and he started talking about the night my mother died,” Harry explained as much as he could remember of the speech, where Voldemort had been hiding and what had happened in the last thirteen years. “He killed Bertha Jorkins. He lived off the snake’s milk. He said he could have come back using anyone’s blood, but he wanted mine. He said I was better protected than I knew…” looking quizzically at Dumbledore, Harry continued, “He devised his plan to get at me using the Tournament. Then he… he used the Cruciatus Curse on me.”

Hermione closed her eyes, muscles twitching in remembrance of Bellatrix’s torture on her. Sirius was barely breathing now, eyes fixed on his godson. “Then he let me down. He wanted to duel me. I thought about running, but my leg…” Harry’s leg was barely bleeding now, “He made me… bow to him,” Harry spat out, almost snarling. “I couldn’t even think of a spell and he Crucio’d me again. I fell into the Death Eaters and they pushed me back towards him. He asked me if I wanted him to do it again. I refused to answer him though.

“He tried to use the Imperius Curse on me. But refused to answer him,” there was satisfaction in Harry’s voice. He had beaten a mind control curse that Voldemort had cast, which was a remarkable feat. Sirius’ chest swelled with pride for his godson. 

“He tried to torture me again, but I jumped out of the way behind the headstone. He said it was the end of our duel. I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to die fighting. I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to disarm him. He used  _Avada Kedavra_ ,” Harry’s voice caught, “And something happened. Our spells connected and the beams turned gold. My wand was vibrating. We were lifted into the air… and suddenly there was a phoenix song coming from the connection. And then there were a bunch of different beams of gold and then I pushed the center of the connection back to Voldemort and it connected with his wand...” Harry couldn’t talk anymore. He paled significantly and looked like he was going to be sick. Dumbledore seemed to be giving him time to process and think but it didn’t look like he would be speaking again. Hermione could see Dumbledore’s mind whirling. 

“The wands connected? Why?” Sirius asked, turning to Dumbledore. 

“ _Priori Incantatem,_ ” Dumbledore murmured, locking eyes with Harry again. 

“The Reverse Spell effect?” Sirius bit out. 

“Exactly. Harry’s wand and Voldemort’s wand share cores. Each of them contains a feather from the tail of the same phoenix.  _This_ phoenix, in fact,” Dumbledore smiled and Fawkes sitting on Harry’s knee. 

“My wand’s feather came from Fawkes?” Harry gasped. 

“Yes. Mr Ollivander wrote to tell me you had bought the second wand, the moment you left his shop for years ago.”

“So,” Sirius was looking at the phoenix with disbelief, “What happens when a wand meets its brother?”

“They will not work properly against each other. If, however, the owners of the wands force the wands to do battle … a very rare effect will take place. One of the wands will force the other to regurgitate spells it has performed -- in reverse. The most recent first… and then those which preceded it…” Dumbledore looked to Harry for confirmation, “Which means that some form of Cedric must have reappeared.” Harry nodded slowly, eyes shining. 

“Diggory came back to life?” exclaimed Sirius. 

Dumbledore shook his head, “No spell can reawaken the dead. All that would have happened is a kind of… reverse echo. A shadow of the living Cedric would have emerged from the wand… am I correct, Harry?”

“He spoke to me,” Harry gasped out, “The… the ghost Cedric, or whatever he was, spoke.” Dumbledore nodded, reiterating that it was just an echo of Cedric. 

“I am guessing other forms appeared…” Dumbledore inquired,  “Less recent victims of Voldemort’s wand…”

“An old man. Bertha Jorkins. And…”

“Your parents?” whispered Dumbledore. 

“Yes.”

Sirius reached up and gripped Hermione’s hand over the cloak. Hermione was crying. Harry had never told her that he had seen his parents that night. She had only been given vague details of the connection and Cedric’s request. 

“The last murders the wand performed. In reverse order. More would have appeared, of course, had you retained the connection,” Dumbledore nodded, “Very well, Harry, these echoes, these shadows… what did they do?”

“They all started yelling at me to fight. To hold on. To beat him. They were also whispering things to Voldemort that I couldn’t hear. My mother appeared. She said that I needed to hold on because my dad was coming,” Sirius had buried his head in his hands, tears running down his face. Hermione didn’t let go of the vice grip on his shaking shoulder. Fawkes jumped down from Harry’s knee and was resting his head on Harry’s leg. 

“My dad came out and told me that when the connection was broken they would stay for a moment and give me time to get to the Portkey and get back to Hogwarts. And then… then Cedric asked me to take his body back to his parents and I… I did,” Harry’s voice cracked and he slumped in his chair, hands shaking violently. The phoenix let large glistening tears drip into Harry’s wound and it healed itself. 

“I will say it again. You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you tonight, Harry. You have shown bravery equal to those who died fighting Voldemort at the height of his powers. You have shouldered a grown wizard’s burden and found yourself equal to it -- and you have not given us all that we have a right to expect,” Dumbledore was looking at Harry solemnly, but proudly. “You will come with me to the hospital wing. I do not want you returning to the dormitory tonight. A Sleeping Potion, and some peace… Sirius,” Dumbledore turned and looked at the man, “would you like to stay with him?” Dumbledore’s eyes flickered to the spot on Sirius’ shoulder, hidden from Harry, that was invisible because of Hermione’s grip. Sirius nodded without moving his hands away from his face and transformed into Padfoot once more.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Sorry long time no update. I have lots of chapters written but no time and motivation to edit.  
> But here we are! yay!

**JUNE 25 1995**

“Mad!” Fudge whispered, “Insane!”

“If this is your choice, Cornelius,” Dumbledore said, “we have reached a parting of the ways. I shall act as I see fit.”

There was nothing menacing about the way Dumbledore calmly told him, but Fudge’s eyes widened as if Dumbledore had drawn his wand. 

“I have given you free rein, always. You hired werewolves, kept Hagrid, taught whatever you want! And now you’re going against my-”

Dumbledore shook his head, “The only one I intend to go against is Lord Voldemort. We are on the same side.” Fudge backed away once more, fidgeting with the bowler hat in his hands. 

“He can’t be…” Fudge asked the room. “He can’t be back.” With a loud huff, Snape stepped forward, brandishing the mark on his left arm. Hermione’s scar stung in the same spot and she sucked in a sharp breath. Fudge ignored Severus’ explanation and dropped the bag of winnings onto the table beside Harry’s bed and left the room. 

Padfoot crawled up Harry’s bed and put his face next to the boy’s, nuzzling into his shoulder. 

“Thanks, Padfoot,” Harry whispered, closing his eyes. There was a flurry of activity and Hermione watched as Bill, Poppy, and Minerva left the room. Harry held the dog tightly, screwing up his face. 

“Sirius,” Dumbledore called, “If you could resume your usual form…” Padfoot jumped off the bed and become the man, dressed in his velvet robes, grey eyes red-rimmed. Molly screamed. Severus snarled. 

“What is he doing here?” Snape growled. Dumbledore sighed and forced the two men to shake hands. 

“Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin-”

“I’m here, Sir.” Remus strode quickly into the room, out of breath. Hermione felt some of her fear ebb away as he walked towards Harry and Sirius. 

“Remus,” Dumbledore nodded to him, “We need the old crowd alerted. Both of you lie low at Lupin Cottage.”

“But-” Harry sat up straighter.

Sirius looked torn, “You’ll see me very soon, Harry. I promise you,” Hermione could see Sirius fighting for composure as he spoke with his godson. 

“Can I just talk to you alone for a minute?” Harry asked, his green eyes pleading. Dumbledore nodded at the group and they all filed out. Hermione watched her younger self go with a concerned glance back at Harry. Under the cloak, Hermione stayed put, though moved closer, as they were speaking quietly. 

“What do you need, Harry?” Sirius moved to sit on the bed but Harry shook his head. 

“You let me go into that maze, Padfoot, and you-you said-you said ‘don’t touch the cup’” Harry’s voice broke and Hermione gasped, covering her mouth. “You knew something bad was going to happen!”

“Harry.” Sirius’ voice was strained, his eyes wet, “I wasn’t supposed to tell you, oh some people are going to be furious with me, but I couldn’t stop you from going in. The binding of the Goblet would have killed you if you hadn’t competed. I thought that this way you wouldn’t win, you wouldn’t go-”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Harry cried, covering his face, “I saw- I saw Cedric- and it’s-”

“My fault,” Sirius nodded, “I’m so sorry, Harry. I promised to protect you and I failed. I can’t tell you everything right now, but I will. I promise you I will. I won’t let you down again. I-” Sirius’ voice caught in his throat and he let out a shuddering breath, “I love you, Harry. I will take care of you.”

“But you’re leaving me again!” Harry couldn’t stop the flood of tears of bursting forth. Sirius wrapped his arms around him and the young boy shook his head, sobs ripping from his throat. “I saw- I saw Cedric die,” Harry sobbed into Sirius’ chest. They stayed that way for several minutes.“I want my mum,” He whispered, shoulders still shaking. 

“I know,” Sirius face crumpled and he held Harry tightly to him, “I know I’m not enough, but I am right here. And you’re gonna be okay, Harry.” Sirius pulled Harry away by the shoulders and wiped the snot and tears from his godson’s face. “You will see me very soon, I just have to do what I can.”

“I understand,” Harry nodded and hugged Sirius close again as Dumbledore cleared his throat from the door. 

“Take the rest of your potion, Harry.” Sirius picked up the bottle and poured it into the goblet. 

“Have a good long rest,” Molly offered, walking to the other side of the bed and smoothing back Harry’s hair. “Think about what you’re going to do with your winnings!”

“I don’t want that gold,” Harry said to the room but continued to look at Sirius. Harry’s breath caught again, “It should have been Cedric’s.” Tears filled his vibrant green eyes once more and Sirius put a hand on the side of his face. 

“It wasn’t your fault, Harry,” Sirius whispered, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. Harry nodded and took the potion from Sirius, drinking it in one gulp and almost immediately falling into a deep, dreamless sleep. 

 

* * *

 

**JUNE 25 1995**

Padfoot sat between Hermione and Remus, his heavy head resting on her thigh. Hermione gently stroked his head and whispered assurances into the dog’s fluffy ears. 

“You did a wonderful job today, Sirius. You didn’t let him down. He’s okay. You’re okay,” the dog whined at Hermione and she fell silent, bending forward to put her forehead on the dog’s. He licked her nose softly and whined again, as if in pain. 

“I’m sorry,” Remus murmured from across the couch, “I should have checked up on you more, Padfoot. I didn’t know it could get this bad.” 

Sirius had turned into Padfoot after arriving at Lupin Cottage and taking one look at Hermione. She had been furious with him, just as he had told Harry someone would be. But he broke down, he cracked. Padfoot howled and whined and cried. And she and Remus had been the only ones around to help pick up the pieces. The conversation with Harry had hurt him, deeply. More, maybe, than Azkaban and years of torment from the Dementors. More than the pain of seeing his best friends dead. More than Wormtail’s betrayal. He’d almost lost Harry, he had let him down, failed him. That was too much for Sirius to take. But not too much for Padfoot.

“I think you should both stay here tonight… or until Sirius comes back to himself,” Remus offered, standing, “I don’t have much, but it’s a safe place to sleep, I think.” He gestured for her to follow and Padfoot leapt off the couch to walk behind them. When the reached the spare bedroom Padfoot jumped on the bed, curling up at the end. “No, Padfoot. Hermione is going to sleep here.” The large dog let out a deep whine. 

“It’s okay, Remus. I can sleep on the sofa,” Hermione suggested when Padfoot whined again. “Ah,” She said, understanding, “Okay. I’ll stay with you, Padfoot.” She stepped forward and rubbed his ears softly. “I’d love to take a shower, Remus, if that’s alright?” Hermione asked, not moving away from Padfoot, “And no,  you can’t join me.” The dog nipped playfully at her fingers and she smiled. 

“Of course, I’ll show you everything,” Remus lead her to the bathroom and she sorted herself, washing away the day, the guilt and shame she felt at what Harry had been through. When she made her way back downstairs, Padfoot jumped up to curl next to her on the sofa. 

“Did Dumbledore stop by?” She called to Remus in the kitchen. He walked in, handing a cup of tea to Hermione before sinking into a large armchair. 

“He sent a Patronus. He said he would stop by in a few days.” Remus closed his eyes and sighed. “Do you mind telling me what happened while I wasn’t there?” Hermione nodded, burying her free hand in the long fur on Padfoot’s neck. She told Remus about Moody, about Barty Crouch and about everything Harry had said in Dumbledore’s office. When she got to the part about James and Lily appearing from the wand, Padfoot began to whine and shake, nuzzling his nose into Hermione’s side. Remus’ hazel eyes shone with tears and he wiped them away quickly as they fell down his face at the retelling of how James and Lily had protected their son, even in death. 

“You heard the conversation with Sirius and Harry?” Hermione asked, assuming his lycanthropic hearing would have allowed him to be in on the whole conversation. 

“Yes,” Remus nodded sadly, staring at Padfoot, “That was a rough one to hear. We need to figure out how to get them together. Harry should move into Grimmauld Place.”

“I agree. It will be made Headquarters soon, and Harry should be in the loop,” Hermione remembered the shouting fit Harry had when he first arrived to find Ron and Harry there in her time. 

Remus sighed, “You think Albus will really go for that?”

“No,” Hermione shook her head, “But if he wants the future to change, then it’s not really an option for him to say no.”

“What about you, ‘Mione?” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “In Dumbledore’s office, you had that-”

“Panic attack, yeah.”

“How was the rest of the day?” He asked, eyes soft and searching. 

Hermione took a shaky breath, “Horrible. The Great Hall especially. There was a battle there. The final battle. And I couldn’t stop _seeing_ it all.”

“I’m sorry. You can always talk about it if you need.”

“No, thank you,” She drained the last of her tea, “Not tonight. Not yet. I am going to try to sleep.” Hermione stood and walked to the kitchen, placing the mug in the sink. Padfoot trailed behind her, tail between his legs.

“Goodnight, Hermione,” Remus murmured, stepping in front of her as she reached the steps and pulling her into a hug. She let herself feel safe in his arms and took a deep breath. 

“Goodnight, Remus,” She breathed, voice shaky. She pulled away and made her way up the stare with Padfoot right behind. He jumped up on the bed and stared expectantly at her. She sighed and pulled off her trousers, leaving her light longsleeved shirt on, and climbed into bed. The large dog cuddled up along her side and she put her arm across him, curling around him. Padfoot sighed and soft snores started drifting through the air. Hermione closed her eyes and let tears leak from the corners of her eyes, falling lightly on the pillow under her. They had all let Harry down that day. They had done nothing to fix it and wasn’t that the whole reason she was here? To save them? To change everything?

* * *

**JUNE 26 1995**

“What are we supposed to do, Remus?” Hermione sat down with a sigh, running her hands over her face. Remus looked over her shoulder into the back garden where Padfoot was dozing on the grass. 

“I don’t know,” Remus plopped a cup of tea in front of her and his eyes searched her worried face. 

“I know the only way to get him back is to give him the time and space he needs to heal, but-”

“You miss him,” Remus finished. “I do too. I don’t know why I never… he just seemed so okay after he escaped Hogwarts.”

“What happened after he flew away?” Hermione asked, “He turned up here, didn’t he?”

“Yes. Clambered in a few days after with Buckbeak. I’m not sure where he was in between. He never said, but I never asked…” Remus frowned. 

“When did he move into Grimmauld Place?”

“Two days before you showed up. He was abroad for the summer and the beginning of the year. After Harry was entered… well, you know. He was in Hogsmeade.”

Hermione nodded, “living off rats.” She shuddered and looked over her shoulder at the large dog. 

“I convinced Dumbledore that Sirius should have a _home,_  and he needed to be easily acceptable. I am surprised Dumbledore went for it, honestly.”

“Some of the choices that man has been making…” Hermione sighed. “I want to get his name cleared, Remus.” His hazel eyes flashed silver at her proclamation. 

“How?”

“I’m not sure yet,” She admitted truthfully, “But it will have something to do with Albus, I know that. He should have done something when Wormtail escaped. He’s Chief Warlock for fuck’s sake. I don’t know what we need to do, but I know we need to do it _fast._  Things aren’t going to go well with Fudge in the next year,” Hermione grimaced as visions of pink filled her mind, “Not well at all.

“I don’t know what we can do then,” Remus looked again at his old friend, “If Fudge isn’t on our side…”

“Yes, but, what if we could  _get_ him on our side? With Veritaserum and a Pensive full of memories, what more could we need?”

“Honestly Hermione, political power,” Remus told her, his frown deepening the lines on his face, “And if you say that Fudge and Dumbledore don’t reconcile…” Remus took her hand as her brows furrowed. 

“I’ll find a way, Remus,” Hermione muttered, looking down, “He can’t be locked in that house. He’ll go mad.” Remus nodded and stood up as Padfoot started walking to the back door. 

“Come on in, Pads,” Remus directed him inside and shut the door behind him. Padfoot beelined for Hermione, resting his head on her knee for an ear scratch before laying down at her feet, a paw on her foot. She pulled the book on the table towards her and started to read. They could talk no more of Sirius.

* * *

**JUNE 29 1995**

Three more days had passed before Padfoot showed any signs of improvement. Hermione woke from her sleep with a scream caught in her throat. A groan beside her had her jumping from the bed, wand in hand. 

“Sirius? _Lumos!_ ” as the beam of light rid the room of darkness, she saw the tiniest shimmer of magic around the large black dog. He had been Sirius. She had no idea for how long, but for the first time in days he had been something other than the Hermione-obsessed, cuddly, bear-like grim. Hermione couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks as she climbed back into bed. Padfoot whined and pressed his head into her chest. A sob ripped through her, an after effect of the nightmare she’d had and the ache in her heart of not having Sirius there to make it go away. 

“Hermione?” A soft, gruff voice called. She looked at the open door to see shining, silver eyes gleaming back at her. Remus stepped into the light and his eyes were hazel once more and his face was etched with concern. She pulled herself from the dog and wrapped her arms around the werewolf, flashes of Bellatrix still pounding in her ears. 

“He was back-” She cried, “Just-just for a moment and now-now he’s gone again,” she didn’t try to stop the fresh wave of tears. She missed Sirius. Even with Remus murmuring in her ear, she wanted Sirius with her too. 

* * *

“YOU CUNTING OLD FOOL!”

Screaming woke Hermione from her rest in the spare room at Lupin Cottage. Wand in hand, she almost collided with Remus in the hallway as they sprinted towards the screaming. They’d only gone back to sleep a few hours ago. A loud crash shook the house just before Hermione jumped the last few stairs. 

“ _Protago!_ ” A shield erupted between a calm Albus Dumbledore and crazed Sirius Black. Hermione moved to stand next to Sirius, wand still holding the shield charm. 

“Pads,” Remus reached out for Sirius but he snarled and moved away. 

Dumbledore sighed, “Sirius, please.”

“NO!” Sirius bellowed, grabbing a lamp and shattering it against the shield directly in front of Dumbledore, “YOU KNEW! WE ALL KNEW! WE LET HIM DOWN!” Sirius fell to his knees, pulling at his hair, “YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WE COULD HAVE STOPPED IT FROM HAPPENING! OR AT LEAST PREPARED HIM! HE WATCHED A KID _DIE!_ ”

“That’s enough, Sirius,” Dumbledore said sharply, “I am fully aware of what happened in the maze.”

“Yes you were,” Hermione cut in, eyes wide, “I told you _everything_. You didn’t even try to stop Cedric from ending up in that maze, from dying. You didn’t care. Not about Cedric. Not about Harry.”

“I care deep-”

“No!” Hermione dropped the shield charm, immobilizing Sirius with a flick of her wand. “You don’t care about Harry at all. You only care about the _greater good_.” She snarled the last two words and Dumbledore’s impassive face finally broke as shock rippled through his features. “Oh yes, Albus, I know exactly what you care about.”

Hermione had spent the last several days finally realizing what a cracked up, selfish fool Albus Dumbledore was, and she chided herself that it took this long. He had willingly let Harry suffer. Harry was _tortured._  And Hermione hadn’t even thought to stop Dumbledore from letting it happen. 

“You tried to control Grindelwald and you failed. You tried to control Ariana,” Dumbledore flinched, “You are finished controlling Harry. You are done controlling us. I can’t believe I didn’t see through you before. Last time you tried to control Harry he _died!_ ” Hermione screeched, tears prickling in her eyes. Remus grabbed her arm and sparks shot through her, forcing his hand away. “You will get in the way of what needs to be done, and I can’t have that. I can’t let that happen again. Harry will know everything he needs to know. About the prophecy, about Voldemort, about Horcruxes, about _you_!

“You are not protecting him. You didn’t protect him and he died. Because of you, Dumbledore. I will not let him die this time. I won’t let you make ridiculous choices that _kill him._ You will not get another say in the matter.” Hermione flicked her wand and the floo burst into life. “Get out. I don’t want to hear another fucking word from you.” Dumbledore stared at her, mouth slightly open. “Did you not hear me, Dumbledore? I said GET OUT!” She screamed and the glass in the room shattered, thousands of tiny pieces flying through the air and stopping right before they penetrated Dumbledore’s skin. The old wizard hadn’t moved a muscle, just looked alarmingly at the glass around him before taking a step towards the fireplace. 

“Remus-Sirius-”

“No, Albus,” Remus said sadly from the ground, next to Sirius. “Go.” Albus regarded them all sadly before stepping into the flames and disappearing. The glass in the room pattered to the floor and Hermione threw herself at Sirius, wrapping her arms around him. 

“Sirius,” She cried, burying her face in his neck. He responded by embracing her. His dreaded, dirty hair tickled her cheek but she clung tighter to him. “Don’t go away again.” 

“I’m sorry,” He whimpered, squeezing Hermione painfully. She would have bruises across her ribs tomorrow, but all she could do was hold him tighter. “I’m so sorry,” She could feel his shoulders begin to shake and tears dripping onto her shirt. 

“Padfoot?” Remus whispered, still sitting beside them, “I think it’s time you talk, mate. I think it’s time all of us talk.” So, even though Remus had heard it and Hermione had been there, Sirius told them both of Harry’s journey through the graveyard and the conversation that concluded the evening in the hospital wing. 

“Hermione,” He looked desperately at her, “I am so sorry I told him-”

“No,” Hermione held up her hand, “You were right. You were right all along. I should never have let Dumblefore take the reins. Again.”

“You said…” Sirius’ eyes widened, “You said Harry dies-”

Hermione cut him off before the panic could set in, “No. My Harry died. Not this Harry. I will never let that happen.” She said with so much conviction that both men had nothing more to say. 

Finally, Remus said, “Come on Pads. Let’s get you a shower and then bed. We can go back to Grimmauld Place tomorrow.” They all stood up.

“Do we have to?”

“Yes,” Hermione answered, “You need to formally make it Headquarters. I will cast a new Fidleus charm tomorrow with you as Secret Keeper, Remus.”

“Me?” Remus asked, incredulous. 

“Yes. It will _not_ be Albus Dumbledore. Let’s talk about this all tomorrow,” Hermione reached out and grabbed Sirius’ hand. “Rest. We will make a plan soon.” She pushed herself up on her toes and kissed his dirty cheek. “Welcome back, Sirius. I missed you.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends!! You all are amazing. I appreciate each and every review so much, you don't even know! Thank you for being so kind and wonderful.   
> Onward! <3

**JUNE 30 1995**

Sirius was in awe of Hermione. Ever since they had arrived back to Grimmauld Place that morning, she had been cleaning - and forcing Remus and Sirius to clean as well.

“The Weasleys and younger me will be arriving in two days,” Hermione said, her back to them as she banished dust from the curtains. “I don’t want Molly spending all of her time making us clean. The kids will be in the loop this time around. At least Harry, Ron, and me. When we’re not in meetings, I want them, me, having  _ fun _ , being children.” She scourgified the window and sunshine shone through. “We need to think of disguise for me, though. Unfortunately,” She turned and frowned at them, “We will probably have to get Dumbledore’s help on that one. I would ask Minerva or Mad-Eye, but I think the fewer people who know about me the better. It needs to be official within the Ministry.” Sirius nodded, aiming a stunning spell at the massive spider that scuttled across the floor. 

“Polyjuice?” Remus offered, tapping the writing desk, “We’ve got a boggart here, by the way,” He added. 

“Maybe?” Hermione thought about Polyjuice, she wasn’t the most adept at altering potions and having to take it every hour wasn’t sustainable. They could bring Snape on board, she thought. She snorted softly, looking over at the two men. No way would they want Severus knowing about her. “I think Polyjuice could work if we found a way for me to not have to drink it every hour on the hour.”

“You could set an alarm on your wand to make sure you took it?” Remus suggested, rolling up his sleeves, “Or alter the potion to work for a longer length of time?”

“You offering to brew it, Moony?” Sirius grinned at him. Remus rolled his eyes. “Moony was rubbish at potions and we never let him live it down,” Sirius explained. 

“Too many different scents?” Hermione asked, kindly. Remus nodded, “I brewed it my second year.” Both men stopped and turned to look at her. Sirius couldn’t help the grin from spreading across his face. She really was fucking  _ magical _ . 

“You what?” Remus asked, incredulously. 

“Yes, yes, I know,” She huffed, “We did it to get into the Slytherin common room to find out if Draco Malfoy was the heir of Slytherin.”

Sirius gasped, “You got into the snakes’ common room? Merlin, Hermione, you’re amazing.” He imagined young 12-year-old Hermione bent over a bubbling cauldron and couldn’t stop smiling. 

“Okay, both of you stop. We need to figure out a way for me to stay here! I’ll need an endless supply of Polyjuice being pumped into my system.” Her eyes narrowed and the two men exchanged a glance. Her eyes glazed over the same way Remus’ did when he was thinking of a book he had once read. “Pumped into my system…” She murmured. “Like… like an IV, or…”

“An IV?” Sirius asked. Both Remus and Hermione shushed him and he raised his hands in surrender. Hermione’s eyes flitted across the room in thought as she blinked rapidly.

“Or a syringe? I could inject myself?” She looked at Remus, “Would it last longer?” 

“It could… in the bloodstream. But it’s never been tested…”

“Well, none of it has,” Hermione groaned. 

Remus sat up straighter, his eyes brightening, “What about one of those slow-dissolving capsules?”

“A what?” Sirius asked, glancing at Remus. Remus waved at him and turned to look back at Hermione. 

“...Remus that’s brilliant.” She walked over to kiss him on the cheek. “Though, I don’t know where I would get the hair….” She ran her hands through her curls, “A hair salon! Come on Granger!” She sighed at herself, hitting her forehead, “I can go in and collect a large batch of the same hair and use it for the brew every time I need to.” She locked eyes with the men in front of her and blushed under their gazes. Both were beaming at her. 

“How will we immerse you into the Order?” Remus asked. 

“Well,” She frowned, “We will have to get Dumbledore on board… maybe Moody…” She shook her head and bit her lip, “But if I get to be involved in everything, it’s worth it. I think we should have everything set up before we talk to them. Though if I have a good enough back story, we might only need to tell Dumbledore.”

“Okay!” Sirius clapped his hands together, “We need to get capithingies and a nice chunk of hair! When do we leave?”

Hermione frowned, “Sirius…”

“Come  _ on _ , Hermione! I can be Padfoot. I’ll even let you put a leash on me,” He winked at her and grinned. Sirius stared her down until she broke into a smile. 

“Fine. Long as I can pick the leash.”

* * *

“Padfoot!” Hermione yelled as the large dog dragged her down the street. Remus laughed from behind her, shoving his hands in the pockets of his patched jeans. They reached the small hair salon and Hermione handed the leash off to Remus, flipping her transfigured blonde hair over her shoulder. Remus watched through the window as she asked the receptionist to bring her the large pile of cut hair. Thankfully it was in a separate bin that they bagged for her. She waved as she left, a smile reaching her spelled blue eyes. 

“That seemed easy,” Remus smiled at her and reached out for the bag. Instead, she slipped her hand into his and pulled him along towards Russell Square down the street. She shoved the hair into her small handbag and it disappeared.

“I told them I wanted to use it for fertilizing plants,” she giggled. “I just realized that I am going to have to test all of these to see which one I would like.”

Remus grimaced, “That’s going to hurt.” 

“That’s okay. It will be fun too,” Hermione squeezed his hand, “I’m sure you and Padfoot will enjoy it.” As she said it, Padfoot nipped at their intertwined hands. Hermione yelped and laughed as he tugged Remus forward on the sparkling pink leash. 

The three of them sat down on the grass, Padfoot digging and spraying dirt everywhere. Hermione leant against Remus and sighed. 

“You seem better,” Remus noted, pulling at the grass. 

“I am,” Hermione told him honestly, “Now that I’ve seen Harry… and everyone else. I just feel like I can fight again, I feel like I have something to fight for. Not only that, but I have a reason want to, I don’t know, live.” She turned and smiled at him, “I love being here with you and Sirius. I love living in a world where Harry is alive and I can make a real plan to change things. Plus I’ve had real  _ fun _ for the first time in years.”

“You didn’t have any fun in your future?”

“Not really,” Hermione shrugged. 

Remus frowned, “Friends?”

“One.” Hermione smiled softly, “Her name was Maura. She reminded me of Ginny. But even then… None of them were Harry. They weren’t you, or Sirius.” She reached up and ran her fingers through his sandy, grey-flecked hair. “I’m here now. I was always meant to come here. If I hadn’t…” She smiled sadly at Sirius. 

“You never got close with us in your time?”

“No, I was young. I mean, I got closer with  _ you _ , after…” She fell silent and unexpected tears prickled in the corners of her eyes. 

“After Sirius died,” Remus nodded, “That makes sense. But now-”

“Now I can’t imagine not knowing the two of you.” She grinned as Padfoot bounded over to them. Hermione rubbed his ears and pressed her face against his and he licked her gently on the cheek. “Is it nice being outside, Padfoot?” Padfoot barked and turned to try to catch his tail. Hermione laughed and leant back on her elbows, smiling at the sunshine. 

“For the record,” Remus said, pulling his feet under him, “I can’t imagine not knowing you either.” He smiled, nudging her with his shoulder. 

* * *

“Okay!” Hermione clapped her hands together. Both Remus and Sirius were sat cross-legged on the bed in her room. She waved her wand and words appeared on the wall. “Here is the plan I’ve made.”

“Jesus, ‘Mione.” Sirius rolled his eyes and Remus grinned at her, eyes dancing over the bullet points. 

“Shush, Sirius.” Hermione snapped at him. “Phase One: New Hermione. First, do we have all the ingredients?”

“Yes,” Remus nodded, “I finished getting all the supplies from Diagon Alley after you and Padfoot went home. You can start brewing when you’re ready.”

“Wonderful,” Hermione grinned at Remus, “I am going to make a very large batch, then separate it into tiny portions so we can try the hairs and make sure I’ve got the same person for the very large batch. That one should last at least a year and I’ll keep making extra batches just in case. Remus and I are going to go to a medical supply store to see if we can get empty capsules. No,” Hermione pointed at Sirius as he opened his mouth to protest, “You can’t come, not even as Padfoot. I’m sorry but they don’t let dogs into stores like that, love.”

“Alright, so, after we get those…” Remus said.

“Well we will just fill up the little things with the potion! Once we find the person I want to be  and a backstory and a name, we can work on introducing me to the Order.”

“We get to pick you a backstory?” Sirius’ eyes lit up.

“Oh, Merlin,” Hermione rolled her eyes.

“‘Oh, Merlin’ is right!” Sirius shouted. “This is what I was  _ made _ for, Hermione. Don’t you worry, I’ve got you covered.” His childish delight made Hermione laugh in exasperation. 

“Fine,” Her smile fell, “I need to talk about some things that aren’t… easy, or happy.” She glanced and Remus before turning to Sirius and walking close to him. Hermione put her hands on his face and met his grey eyes with a sad smile. “Sirius, I need you to promise me that you won’t go away again. I need you to promise that you won’t drink yourself into a coma or change into Padfoot or run away.”

“I…” Sirius’ eyes searched her face. He wasn’t sure he could make such a promise, not with the way he’d been coping since Azkaban. But as his eyes met hers and all he saw was belief and trust and love there, he thought that maybe he could stay himself for long enough to help Hermione with whatever she needed. “I promise.” Hermione smiled and lit up his world and he knew he had said the right thing. 

“So Phase Two is all about Harry,” Hermione said, chin in the air. She waved her wand and the first bullet point appeared. “Step one: we  _ need _ to teach Harry Occlumency.”

“I only know two-” Remus started. 

“Three.” Hermione pointed to herself, “Me. Or, I guess whoever I become. I don’t think Dumbledore or Snape should teach him. We need to make sure it’s done in a safe manner, in a way that will get him to  _ want _ to do it.” She thought of all the times Harry had come back shaking and furious from Snape’s office when he was trying to teach Harry. “Step two: as you both know, there is a prophecy about Harry. I think it is time we talk about it and what it means.  _ The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies, and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not,  and either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives. _ ” Hermione recited from memory. “Now, before you say anything I think that prophecies are bull. I think that all this did was force Voldemort to mark Harry as his equal.  _ But _ , I do think it’s important that Harry knows that this exists because unfortunately… Harry is,” Hermione made her way to stand in front of Sirius. “You promised, remember.”

“I promised,” Sirius nodded, eyes crinkling in confusion. 

“Harry is a Horcrux.”

The two men stared at her in silence, Remus blinking rapidly. Sirius shook his head slowly. 

“No,” Sirius stood and Hermione framed his face with her hands once more. “That’s not fucking funny, Hermione, fuck that.”

Remus grabbed his arm, “Padfoot-”

“No! Fucking no! I have to-”

“Sirius, please,” Hermione’s thumbs brushed over his stubble. “You promised me you would stay. You promised.”

“I…” Sirius shook his head, “But… Harry. Hermione,  _ Harry _ .”

“I know! I know. Listen. Please just sit and listen to me for a little while longer and then the three of us can drink ourselves silly, alright?” Hermione gave him a watery smile and he slowly nodded and sat down. “I don’t have a plan on how to get Harry out of this just yet. But I  _ will _ think of one.”

“We will,” Remus added, gripping Sirius’ knee. “We will save Harry, Pads.”

Hermione breathed in sharply, “Too right.” She tapped the wall again, “We can’t do anything about the Horcrux in Harry until we handle all the other ones.”

“Voldemort has more than one?” Remus asked, eyes wide. 

“He made seven,” Hermione paused so Sirius could swear, “Six on purpose, and then there’s Harry.” As she spoke, the wall changed. 

_ Diary _

_ Ring _

_ Locket _

_ Cup _

_ Diadem _

_ Snake _

_ Harry _

“So the diary has already been taken care of - Harry stabbed it with a basilisk fang in his second year.” Hermione sighed as a line went through the word, “And I know where the rest are.”

“Well, why don’t we just go get them?” Sirius asked, standing up again, running his hands through his hair, “Let’s go right now!”

“We can’t, Sirius,” Hermione told him, “Voldemort has just returned, he’s going to check on them and make sure they’re safe. The ring is in a small cottage in Little Hangleton. The Cup is in Bellatrix Lestrange's vault. The Diadem is at Hogwarts. The snake is with him at all times.”

Remus asked, “and the locket?”

“In my bag,” Hermione admitted with a smile. 

“What? How?” Sirius asked her, a small smile on his lips. She had the ability to surprise him like no one else.

“Because it was here, Sirius,” a sad smile crossed her face, “Your brother stole it from Voldemort, Sirius. And hid it in this house. He intended to destroy it.” She pulled out the locket and took the paper from it, handing it over to Sirius. 

“Regulus?” Sirius’ eyes watered and he looked back at Remus, “Reg defected? I didn’t- Why didn’t he-”

“You know how he was, Pads. He never would have asked you for help. The Order wasn’t exactly friendly to ex-Death Eaters.” Remus looked at him sadly, his mouth set in a line, “We weren’t friendly, either.”

“But Reg-” The last time Sirius has seen his brother was on the battlefield. They’d meet, both lowering their wands, grey meeting grey. Sirius should have known then that he wasn’t truly turned. That he’d changed. But instead, James had cursed him, grabbing Sirius and pulling him away from the other Death Eaters that had converged on the team. “I should have known, Moony.”

“You couldn’t have,” Hermione murmured sympathetically, “I’m sorry it happened the way it did, but Sirius, he did  _ good _ , we have a Horcrux now and we can figure out how to destroy it.” The two men nodded mutely and stayed silent, “Once I have all of the Horcruxes, we can ask Dumbledore for the Sword of Gryffindor. It’s been endowed with basilisk venom and can destroy them. Now-”

“Hermione,” Sirius’ voice broke, “Can we, can we just take a break, please? I need a break.”

“Oh,” her eyes met his, “Of course. I’m sorry. Let’s all go have lunch.”

“And firewhiskey,” Remus added. 

“And firewhiskey,” Sirius and Hermione chorused. Hermione tapped the wall and the writing vanished. Then they made their way down to the kitchen. To eat, and drink, and hold each other as they worked to find a way to get everyone out of the war alive.  


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends!  
> A small CW of sexual assault. Nothing too, too graphic.  
> Thank you so much for all your encouragement and nice words.  
> I love you all so much! <3

**JUNE 30 1995**

Hermione pulled back the duvet to climb into bed when there was a soft knock on the door. She called for them to come in and Sirius entered, pyjamas and dressing gown on. His hair was damp from his shower and falling a little into his face. Hermione smiled at him as his scent washed over her. Most of it was the products he’d used in the shower; all musk and cedar and sandalwood, but under it was the bit that smelled like the Gryffindor common room and the tiniest touch of cosy dog. 

“You alright?” She asked him, eyes searching his face. After the long day of planning and errands, Hermione, Sirius, and Remus had all had a little too much to drink. After Remus had almost thrown up into a horrible looking vase, Hermione had insisted he go home. Remus hadn’t been able to keep up with the way Sirius and Hermione drank. Even now, they regarded each other soberly, clearly. Though she had the high tolerance, Hermione was feeling tired and vulnerable and she worried that Sirius felt the same. 

“I’m…” Sirius ran his hands through his hair. She now knew this as his nervous habit and his biggest tell. “I don’t know. I want Harry safe. I don’t know how I’m feeling about Reg. And I’m just… worried about you.”

“Me?” Hermione scoffed at him, “Why are you worried about me?”

Sirius sighed, “You’ve got the whole of this on your shoulders and I just wish I could take some from you.”

“You are!” She insisted, moving to grab his hand, “I don’t feel alone in this, Sirius. I know you and Remus would do anything in the world to keep Harry safe.”

“And you,” Sirius mumbled under his breath. Hermione’s eyes widened and she quickly shoved down a response as he winced. “I mean it, Hermione. Moony and I would do anything to keep you safe. You’re… you’re family to us now.”

Hermione frowned, “I’ve been here a week, I don’t know why you feel-”

“Don’t you?” Sirius’ piercing grey eyes met hers and she blinked slowly up at him. 

“I…” The past week had been one of the most confusing and challenging of her life. Yes, she’d travelled back in time and had been tasked with saving the wizarding world from devastating loss. But Sirius and Remus had opened their world to her. Walking in step with them, drinking tea at breakfast, listening to the wireless, it had all become seamless. Easy. 

“Hermione, don’t tell me that you don’t-”

“I do. I feel that. I do,” She promised him. “But I’m here to save Harry. To save _you_ and-”

“What about you, though? Don’t you matter? Don’t you get to live?” Sirius’ eyes were frantic, “What if you try to do all of these things and then you-”

“I won’t live unless all of you do.” Hermione deadpanned. “I didn’t live. I quit magic and left the wizarding world and I didn’t do _anything,_ Sirius. I barely had friends, I barely had a life, I barely _lived_. For the first time in seven years, I am finally doing something besides going through the motions of surviving. Merlin, I am using magic again and I didn’t realize how empty I felt without it. Whatever happens here, it’s better than where I came from.” 

Sirius’ brow furrowed in sympathy and Hermione resisted the urge to touch the wrinkles that formed there, “I’m sorry you had to live like that.”

“‘S’alright. I’m sure it doesn’t compare to-” she gestured at him. 

“To Azkaban? No. Maybe not. But it still wasn’t a happy life.”

“Now we’re here though.” Hermione shot him an unsure grin, “And I don’t know about you, but I am happy about that.” Sirius smiled back and pulled her into a hug. Hermione buried her face into his chest, arms looping around to rest on the centre of his back. She took a deep breath, remembering all those time she’d been aching for a true friend, a family, for the past several years. She couldn’t help but feel that this had always been the universe’s plan. Sirius, Remus, and her. Their own weird little family. 

Sirius rested his head on top of hers and let out a sigh. 

“We should get some rest. Harry is going home tomorrow and I want to figure out this plan as soon as possible.” Hermione reluctantly pulled out of his grasp and shrugged her shoulders. “The Polyjuice should be ready in a few days, thanks to Remus getting the pre-stewed lacewing flies. Everything is falling into place. We just have to Dumbledore on board as soon as we can.”

“Tomorrow we’ll finalize everything,” Sirius promised, “And we will get Harry here.”

Hermione nodded, pushing herself on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. “We will get Harry here.” She still held on to his hand and whispered, “Do you- do you mind… staying?” She felt a flush creep up her cheeks, cursing the firewhiskey still coursing through her veins. Sirius’ shoulders relaxed and he smiled. 

“Of course.”

“Come on then.” They both climbed into bed. 

“So… you’re going to put the polyjuice in…. What did you call them? Capsules?”

“Yeah. Remus and I did some tests today. It will make it more potent if we transfigure it into powder.”

“Like cocaine?”

“ _What_?” Hermione propped herself up on her elbow, gazing down at him. Her plaited hair fell over her shoulder. 

“Oh come on, Hermione. You can expect _me_ to not know about cocaine.”

“No, but,” Even in the dark he knew she rolled her eyes, “you know what cocaine is but not tablets.”

“I never said it was a good thing.”

“Merlin, Sirius,” Hermione flopped down next to him again, linking her hand with his. Neither wanted to bring up whatever… this was. They both needed it. They both enjoyed it. So why ruin it? Neither had made a move to do anything more than hold one another in their sleep. 

 

Sirius knew she was asleep when he heard her heartbeat slow. He sat up and looked down at her. She looked so much younger when she slept. No lines of constant worry etched across her face. No anxious clenched jaw. Her fists were unfurled from the small fists they were usually balled in. 

In the darkness, his animagus eyes made it easy for him to see the small curls that had escaped her braid. He reached over a brushed a few from her forehead. 

He so desperately wanted to brush his lips against hers, but of course, he could not. Not ever. Especially not while she was asleep. And even while awake… he was too old. Too broken. Too wrong for her. The twelve years in Azkaban had damaged him irreparably. Watching James and Lily die, Peter framing him, watching his friends in the Auror department throw themselves into danger over and over again for the past decade wasn’t something he could forget. His dreams were usually the sound of Harry crying the night James had died. 

But he wasn’t there now. He was in bed with the only person besides Moony and Harry that made him want to live. He felt like he could stare at her for hours. So he did. 

_Bah dum, bah dum bahdum bahdumbahdum_

Hermione’s heart rate climbed quickly and Sirius touched her then, hands framing her face. She’d had these nightmares every night since she’d arrived at Grimmauld Place. All her attempts to keep him from worrying about her had failed, especially when they started sleeping in the same bed. 

She let out a terrified whimper and his heart sank. He couldn’t bear it - her in pain. 

“Hermione,” They whispered her name at the same time. He paused. She shook violently, her heart rate climbing higher. “I’m Hermione!” She cried. Her hands clapped swiftly to her face and before he could react, she raked her hands down her face, cutting lines into her skin with her nails. 

“Hermione!” He grabbed her hands and her eyes flew open and she let out a gasp of pain. Without a word, she pushed him away and he leapt back, giving her space. She sprinted to the mirror and stared at her face. She burst into tears, hands going to her heart. 

“Oh god, oh god, that’s me. I’m-” She broke off, sobbed ripping from her throat. Sirius walked up behind her slowly, as not to startle her. Sometimes after a nightmare, she wanted him to hold her and sometimes she couldn’t bear to be touched - shaking and crying when he got close but begging him to stay. 

Sirius wasn’t sure what she needed, so he waited a small distance behind her. Her hand reached back and he grabbed it without hesitation. 

“My face- that’s- my face,” Hermione said through her sobs. 

“It’s okay! I can fix it, I can heal it-”

“No!” She smiled shakily up at him while trying to stifle her cries. “It’s _good_ , it’s my face. My nightmare, I was- I was Bellatrix.”His eyes widened and she covered her mouth. She’d said something she hadn’t meant to.

“ _What_?!” Sirius exclaimed. 

“I-I- yes. The last time I took Polyjuice Potion, I became her,” A shudder ran through her, “I was dreaming I was stuck like her-”

“But _why_?” Sirius asked, moving back to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“I… well, the cup is in her vault…”

“But how did you get her hair?” Sirius said soberly. Any trace of firewhiskey gone from his system. Hermione closed her eyes and shook her head. “You promised no more secrets, Hermione.”

“I can’t.” She said through clenched teeth. The worry lines were back on her face. 

“Hermione-” his tone softened and he could help the concern he knew was written all over his face. “I didn’t mean to-” He ran his fingers through his hair, “I just think talking about it might help.”

“Fuck off,” she hissed, her eyes opening in slits to glare at him. 

“I just mean… that’s what Muggles say. That’s what Lily always said,” his heart clenched at the mention of her name. 

“You’re one to fucking talk,” she snarled at him.

“I-” He groaned, “I’ll talk if you talk.” He blurted it out and regretted it immediately. 

“What?” Her eyes widened slightly. 

“I’ll-” He swore, “If you talk about whatever it is, I will talk about Azkaban and Wormtail and Lily and- and James,” He winced. 

“You-” She unclenched and clenched her fists, shaking her head, “You’d do that?”

“I…” Sirius shrugged, “Yeah. For you.”

“But…” She shook her head again, “That’s not fair. If you want to talk about it, you should. If you don’t want to-” Sirius sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Merlin, woman, I don’t want to talk about anything.”

“But then why-”

“ _Because_ Lily always said it made it better. And that’s what Muggles believe. Anyway, it’s not like either of us can pop over to a Mind Healer at St. Mungo’s. We need help, Hermione. So maybe this will help both of us.” Hermione just blinked at him. 

“How-” Her eyebrows knit in confusion, causing a drop of blood to drip further down her face. “When did you start saying wise things?”

“Maybe I have always been wise, love.”

“Oh, please,” Hermione rolled her eyes. Drops of blood pooled in the hollow of her throat. 

“Can I heal your face?” Sirius asked gently. She flinched but nodded. After a few waves of his wand, she was good as new. 

“Thank you.” She sat down on the bed and rubbed her face. “So, well.” Hermione took a deep shuddering breath. “I was captured. We all were. Ron, Harry, and I were on the run looking for Horcruxes and we were taken to Malfoy Manor. It’s where the Death Eaters made their headquarters. Harry and Ron were put in the cellar and I-” Her breath hitched and her hand reached out for Sirius’. He grabbed it quickly. “I was sent to Bellatrix.”

Sirius ground his teeth and forced himself not to interrupt her. 

“She took me away from them. Demanded Ito know where I’d gotten the Sword of Gryffindor from since it was supposed to be in her vault. I… I didn’t tell her. I lied and she knew. So she tortured me. For what felt like hours. And also minutes. I have no idea how long it really was.” 

Sirius nodded at her and squeezed her hand lightly. He knew what that felt like. How torture warped time. Especially Bella’s. 

“I…” Hermione’s voice caught and she cleared her throat. “When I wouldn’t talk she left me to… to the others. And Greyback… He- I don’t know… He-” Sirius opened his mouth to tell her she didn’t have to say, but she shook her head at him. “Don’t. I need…” Her deep chocolate eyes met his shining grey ones. Sirius almost couldn’t stand to look into them. The pain and terror that shone there hurt him to his core. “Fenrir Greyback raped me,” Hermione whispered softly. Her voice broke, but no tears ran from her eyes. Instead, her jaw was set in determination. “And while… when he was…” She flinched and closed her eyes, “ Bellatrix continued to torture me while he raped me.”

Sirius could hardly breathe. Hot rage filled him. He would fucking kill them. His cunt cousin. Rip them both limb from limb. Sirius watched silently as Hermione rolled up her sleeve. He now couldn’t help but see the slur written there. _Mudblood._  

Hermione took a breath and placed her arm in his open hand. Sirius brushed his thumb over the letters. Shuddering, Hermione began to cry. It was the first time anyone had ever touched this scar, besides Fleur when she was trying to heal it and that was an excruciating process.

Sirius pulled away, “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“No, no, it’s okay. It doesn’t hurt.”

“Okay.”

Hermione swiped a hand over her face, “Sirius it _always_ hurts. It throbs and aches all the time.” She grabbed his hand and placed it over the vicious scar, so it was covered by his calloused hand. All she could see was her pale skin now. “It doesn’t hurt when _you_ touch it. Why?” 

“Hermione, I-” Sirius realized he was crying. “Oh,” he said when a tear fell from his face. He looked down, ashamed, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to-” Hermione put her hands on the side of his face, wiping the tears that fell. 

“I’m okay,” She whispered, “I’m okay.” Sirius reached up and caught her tears with his fingers too. “I’m okay and she dies. And this time, I am going to be the one that fucking kills her.”

Sirius didn’t flinch, “I’d love to help if you’ll let me. I know it doesn’t mean much, but I know what Bella’s torture feels like. And I know it doesn’t mean anything but I am _sorry_ , I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And Greyback-”

Hermione sniffed, “I almost- I dunno. I thought it would be rather easy to go insane. It would have been easier, certainly. It would have stopped finally, you know? To let my mind go so that I wasn’t there anymore.”

“Why didn’t you?” Sirius asked softly. 

“Harry.” A small smile played across her face. “And Ron, I suppose. I knew they would find a way to get me out.” 

“Do they-did they… know?”

“No!” Hermione said quickly, “Merlin, no.”

“Did anyone?”

Hermione shook her head, “I think Fleur suspected. There are some pretty bad scars along my hips that are quite telling. But besides me and the other Death Eaters in the room, no. Well, and you.”

“And me.”

“Yeah,” She paused for several long moments. “You have to promise you won’t tell Remus. If Remus finds out that Greyback…” She trailed off and looked pleadingly at Sirius.

He nodded, “I won’t tell him.” 

“Thank you.” Hermione put her hand on his face, “And thank you for taking some of it.”

Sirius’ eyebrows knitted together, “Some of what?”

“My burden.”

“Oh,” his lips quirked, “anytime.”

Hermione lent back against the pillows and Sirius fell back with her. “It’s your turn,” Hermione whispered as she buried her face in his shoulder. He grimaced and wrapped his arm around her. 

“Well, I mean, I was in Azkaban for 12 years. There’s not too much to say except that it was horrible.” 

“But- Dementors… After everything at the manor, I know what they did to me, so I can’t even imagine what you went through- being exposed to them for so long.”

“It was easier as Padfoot. Dementors can’t affect animals the same way. I couldn’t be him all the time though. There were always Aurors patrolling so I had to make sure they didn’t find out I was an Animagus. Plus, it can be difficult to sustain when you’re weak and don’t have a lot of magic. Still, the conditions were…” Sirius shivered and pulled Hermione closer to him. “Not ideal.”

“What do you mean?” Hermione asked in a whisper. 

“I was in a Sky Cell.” He couldn’t help the cold seeping into his bones. “It’s at the highest level of Azkaban. All the cells have two walls and a cell door.”

“What?” Hermione hissed, sitting up to look down at him, “You mean the fourth wall-”

“Nothing. There’s nothing. Just the sky. And below that, the sea.”

“I didn’t know anything like that existed…” Hermione said, horrified. Sirius continued to shiver and she culled up next to him again. 

“I kept wishing I was a bird and not a dog.” Sirius looked down at her sadly, “They had a chain around my ankle so that I couldn’t kill myself by jumping off. I could, of course, slip out of it as a dog. I wanted to jump so many times. It would have been so easy.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Harry, obviously.” Sirius took a deep breath, “I could hear James and Lily asking me to take care of him. Over and over again. And I let them down.”

“No, Sirius-”

“I did, Hermione. I acted rashly and then I wasn’t there for him when he needed me.”

“But you _will be_ ,” Hermione held him tighter. 

“I will certainly try.” Sirius buried his face in Hermione’s hair. “But I couldn’t escape the memories. I don’t know if you know that I saw them, that night. I went to the cottage to get Harry and I saw them. Lily was in front of Harry’s crib, protecting him. And James-” Sirius closed his eyes, shaking. Now that he had started talking, he couldn’t stop. “He was right next to the steps, in front of the door. He didn’t even have his wand on him. His eyes were open. I-” Sirius took a shuddering breath, “I saw them over and over again. And I could always, always hear Harry crying.”

Hermione wiped her face, trying to stop the tears from dripping onto Sirius’ chest. “That’s horrible,” She whispered. 

“I want to do right by them.”

“You will, love.”

“Help me-” Sirius’ voice broke, tears pouring down his face.

“I will. I have a plan.” Hermione told him, moving to cradle his face. “I have a plan, love. A plan to set you free.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I am so sorry I have been away. No excuses, just a crazy life at the moment. 
> 
> We're going to get back on track, I promise! As an apology, I am posting two chapters today!

JULY 1st 1995

Hermione woke again with Sirius wrapped around her.

After staying up all night talking, they came to a conclusion: they were going to blackmail the Ministry of Magic.

Once all the children showed up for the summer break, Sirius and Hermione (who would be disguised by then), would get memories from Harry, Ron, young Hermione, and Remus. They would go to Dumbledore and demand he fight for Sirius to have a trial as the head of the Wizengmont. He would only be that for few months longer, so Hermione had to act fast. If Fudge didn’t want to give Sirius a trial, well, Hermione planned to make it publicly known that Sirius Black was never given a trial. That Cornelius Fudge himself had neglected to give him his due process. 

Hermione was sure that if Fudge’s reputation was on the line, he would do anything. 

Sirius stirred and he opened his bright grey eyes to look at her. She smiled at him, “Good morning.”

“Did we both sleep through the rest of the night?” Sirius asked, untangling himself from her and stretching. 

“Mhm,” Hermione cast a quick _tempus_. “It’s nearly nine. We’re trying all the Polyjuice today.”

Hermione had separated all the hairs by magic, and then she and Remus had combed through them by hand to make sure all the hairs were with like-kind. Hermione didn’t want a repeat of the last time she had tried polyjuice with an unknown hair. 

Hermione pulled herself from the bed and grabbed clothing from the wardrobe while Sirius made the bed with a wave of his hand. 

“See you downstairs,” Sirius called as he left the room. As the door shut behind him, Hermione collapsed back on the bed. 

Sirius Black. 

She’d told him everything that Fenrir had done. _Now he’ll never touch me,_ Hermione thought desperately and then blushed. Not that she wanted him to touch her in any sort of way, of course.

She covered her face and let out a groan. They couldn’t keep sharing a bed and expect nothing to happen. With another groan, she stood up and dressed for the day in frustration. Sirius Black made Hermione Granger _very_ frustrated. 

* * *

“On three,” Hermione lifted her murky green potion, “One-two-three-” They all drank the tiny bit of liquid in their vials. Sirius, a dark pink, Remus, a light blue. All the consistency of mud. 

Hermione felt her body start to bubble and searing pain raced through her joints. 

“Oh, fuck,” Sirius swore as he slowly shrank down to a little girl with amber hair. Remus had turned into a middle-aged man with shiny, blonde hair. Hermione looked in the mirror. She was a much older woman with very short salt and pepper hair. 

“I think no.” Hermione turned to them. They only had a few moments before the potion wore off. By her and Remus’ calculations, about 2 minutes and 37 seconds. 

“Come the fuck on,” the girl said in a high voice. Hermione and Remus burst into laughter. “Shut up!” Sirius yelled. Her red face only made them laugh harder. They painfully shifted back into themselves and Hermione banished the three piles of hair. 

“Alight, again.” Remus said. They all nodded. 

Hermione became a tall, balding older man, Remus a young teenage boy, and Sirius a twenty-something woman with dark hair and sparkling blue eyes. 

“That might work,” Remus said, nodding at Sirius. 

“Oh yeah” Sirius put his hands on his breasts and shook them, “Defo.”

“Shove off,” Hermione snapped, “Stop that. She looks perfect. Let me try the next round." Once they turned back, Hermione put a piece of the back hair into a larger vile, about thirty minutes of time and downed it.

Her chestnut curls straightened to long, hip-length black hair. Her chocolate brown eyes lightened. She grew several centimetres. Hermione blinked at them and Sirius grinned at her. 

“How does it feel?” Remus asked, moving over to examine her face. 

“Weird.” Her voice was deeper and more melodic and she flinched, taken aback. “I’ll just have to get used to it, I suppose.” She ran her longer fingers through her straight, untangled hair. “I wish-” Tears sprang unexpectedly to her eyes and Remus reached out and pulled her into his arms. “I want to be myself.”

“You are, love,” Remus answered her, “We know who you are.”

“I know,” Hermione pulled away and wiped her face. Even that felt foreign. 

“Why don’t you practice some spells.” Sirius offered, standing behind Remus. “Get used to casting in this new body.”

“Yeah,” Hermione moved away from them and took a deep breath, casting several spells. It took a few to get used to having larger hands. As she conjured a garland of flowers, she felt her hair curling. She sighed with relief when she was herself again.

“You’re Hermione,” Sirius whispered to her as he handed her a roll of parchment. “You’re not her, you’re Hermione.” 

“I know,” She smiled at him, “Thank you.”

“I finished your secret identity.” He declared. Sirius had been writing furiously while she was practising. Remus rolled his eyes from where he was spelling the potion into powder form. Hermione took the roll of parchment from him.

“Hestia Jones?”

“Mhm,” Sirius threw himself down into a chair and propped his feet up. 

“Wow, you really went for it,” Hermione scanned Hestia Jones’ life story, from birth to now. 

“Course I did, love.” Sirius leaned back in his chair. 

“I’m serious-”

“No, I’m Sirius.”

Both Remus and Hermione groaned loudly. 

Remus muttered, “Merlin’s soggy pants.” and shot small sparks at Sirius’ face. 

Sirius yelled, “Ow! Fuck!” Hermione let out a bubble of laughter, “Alright, dicks,” Sirius glared at them both.

“That’s what you get for shit jokes, love,” Hermione sat next to Remus and started putting the powder in small capsules. 

Grimmauld Place was about to become the official Headquarters for the Order of the Pheonix and Hermione would need to be disguised most of the time. One pill would last, by Remus’ and Hermione’s calculations, nineteen and a half hours. She would take one every morning when she woke up and make sure she was alone when it was time for it to fade away. 

“So, there’s a bit extra,” Remus said, holding up a vial of powder, “I am going to put it in these smaller tablets, maybe about 5 hours worth so you can have them just in case.”

“Oh, you smart, smart wizard,” Hermione kissed his shoulder and smiled up at him. He grinned down at her and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. 

Sirius looked on at their interaction and frowned, his brow knitting together. Remus and Hermione continued to mutter to one another, smiles playing at their lips. 

Sirius stood and left them to their potions lab. 

* * *

In the kitchen, Sirius downed another glass of firewhiskey and poured more. He thought that Remus and Hermione’s interactions were easy. Right. And the feelings he was trying to desperately keep hidden couldn’t help but surge at the thought of them together. 

He couldn’t deny his feelings for Hermione, at least not to himself. Sleeping next to her every night definitely didn’t make that any easier. But he couldn’t bear to go back to sleeping alone. Not after the twelve years alone on the cold floor. 

He shivered, feeling that endless chill still all over his body. He had rarely felt warm since escaping Azkaban. The chill of the Dementors still haunted him every moment. Except when he was with Hermione. She was bright and warm. Warmer than firewhiskey. Warmer than curling up by the roaring fire as Padfoot. Hermione was sunshine to him, especially since he hadn’t been outside in the sunshine as himself in months. Another shiver raged through him and he winced, throwing back the firewhiskey. Hermione’s laugh filtered up the stairs and Sirius sighed. 

He would, of course, step aside if Remus wanted to be with Hermione. Though that would be an uncomfortable conversation. The two men’s dynamic had certainly changed since Hermione had entered their lives. They hadn’t been as close since she’d shown up. Emotionally or physically. Maybe that was because they were both leaning so heavily on Hermione since she’d arrived. 

“Oi!” Hermione called up the stairs. “Sirius!” There was a thundering of footsteps as the two came up from the cellar. Hermione’s eyes fell on the empty glass in front of him and she frowned. 

“Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Sirius nodded, “Wasn’t all me,” he held up the half-empty bottle, “If I recall, I had to help a certain werewolf to the floo last night.” Hermione continued to look at him, cocking her head a bit to the side. “I’m alright, I’m just...cold.” Hermione and Remus locked eyes and grinned. 

“No-” Sirius started, but they jumped and enveloped him in their arms. He jokingly tried pushing them off, cursing wildly. 

“Shh, shh, accept it,” Hermione shushed him and he finally relented, letting himself relax and be warmed by their embrace. 

“Better?” Remus asked. Sirius nodded against his chest. “You know you can ask us for help, Pads.” Hermione nodded vigorously. 

“I know.”

“We’re here for you, love,” Hermione told him.

“I know.”

“The three of us, well, we’ve got to stick together, I think.” Hermione’s voice caught, “You two are my best friends.”

“Me too,” Remus and Sirius whispered. Hermione smiled against Sirius’ shoulder. They stood together like that for a long time, holding one another. Sirius relished being surrounded on all sides by the two people he loved most. Hermione’s shampoo wafted over him and he inhaled deeply. Her scent mingled with Remus’ scent. The wolf’s scent was bound to Sirius’ animagus form deeply. In the presence of his alpha, Sirius felt safe, magic coursing through him and between them all. In their arms, Sirius could relax for the first time in a long time. The Dementors couldn’t get him here, in the arms of people that made him so happy he could create the worlds strongest Patronus if he really tried.

* * *

After what felt like hours (or minutes, none of them really knew), Hermione untangled herself from the two men. “In the vain of sticking together…” Hermione took a shaky breath, “I think it’s time to talk to Dumbledore.”

“Fuck that’ll suck,” Sirius muttered and Remus slowly pulled away from him. 

“You’re telling me.” Hermione groaned. Silently, they gathered everything they'd prepared for the meeting that day. They tumbled through the floo, Hermione holding everything they needed.

“Hello Miss Granger,” Dumbledore smiled from behind his desk, “Sirius, Remus.” The younger wizard’s nodded their heads. 

“Hello, Albus,” Hermione put her things on the desk unceremoniously. She was pale, and Remus could smell the nervous sweat coming from her. She put on a great front in front of the old wizard though. “We’re here to talk business, so please forgive me if I skip the pleasantries. As you know, Sirius is offering Grimmauld Place to be the Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. Since I refuse to leave Number 12, we have come up with a solution.” Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at this and Hermione ploughed on. “I have Polyjuice potion for a full year. Remus and I have made it into pill form. My name is Hestia Jones, I have a full backstory. I am going to need you to call in a favour to the Ministry to get all of my papers back-filed.” Hermione handed Dumbledore a copy of the life Sirius had written for her, and official-looking papers that she had made in the kitchen right before they left. 

“Miss Granger-”

“Dumbledore, I hate to do this, but I know where every Horcrux is. If you want my help, if you want to be involved at all, we need to get this done.”

“Hermione-” Remus murmured warningly. 

“I mean it, Dumbledore.”

Silence filled the room and Fawkes cooed from the corner. Hermione continued to stare at the old wizard until he leant back in his chair.

“I don’t appreciate being blackmailed, Miss Granger.”

“I don’t appreciate a lot of things,” Hermione snapped, “But this isn't blackmailing. If I wanted to actually blackmail you, I could.” Hermione smiled humorlessly, “You do things for me, and I will do things for you.” Dumbledore stared at her before nodding once and Hermione grinned brightly, her rocky exterior breaking slightly. 

“Wonderful!” Hermione tapped the papers. “This is everything a full-grown witch would need. Even a wand description, though it’s from a wandmaker in America that I think you know, Kaneonuskatew. We’ve taken the liberty of inviting the Weasleys, young Miss Granger, and Harry to Grimmauld Place.”

“Harry has to-”

“No.” Hermione cut him off sharply, “No. The Weasley family and young Hermione will be arriving tomorrow. Harry will be here in 3 days. An advance guard is going to go get him. I have already chosen who it will be, and I assume you have already contacted these people to join the Order. Please inform them of the new headquarters. They can come and go as they please once they are made privy to its location.”

“I was planning to cast a Fidelius Charm,” Dumbledore told the three of them. 

“We already did,” Hermione smiled again, “Remus is secret keeper. Here are several pieces of paper Remus made so you can hand them out to those you would like to join.” Hermione handed him a stack. “Here are the people that will be going to retrieve Harry.”

“Thank you, Miss Granger,” Dumbledore smiled serenely at her, clearly trying to be calm and unsurprised by her.

“You might want to get used to calling me, Miss Jones.”

“Oh, yes, I apologize, Miss Jones.” His eyes twinkled behind the spectacles and Hermione could feel him trying to probe into her thoughts. Her Occlumency shields went up immediately and she pushed him out, shaking her head with a smile. 

“So the last thing we need to talk about Albus,” At this Hermione put her hands on the desk and leaned in close to him, “We are going to make Sirius Black a free man.”

Dumbledore blinked at her.

“I am going to send an anonymous tip to Cornelius Fudge that we know Sirius Black is _innocent_. And more than that, that he was never given a trial.  There is a certain cunt-faced witch-” Hermione ignored Dumbledore’s quiet comment of ‘language’, “that owes me -well, younger me- a big old favour if she doesn’t want the world to know she’s an unregistered Animagus. She will print the story if Fudge doesn’t launch a trial with Amelia Bones as the lead investigator. She’s fair, and the Ministry is pretty fucking biased right now.”

“Amelia hasn’t been on the Investigation Department in a long time,” Dumbledore stated. 

Hermione scowled, “So _convince her_. We have to go around Dolores Umbridge in order to get things moving, and Amelia can do that. We need to make sure it happens soon, or it won’t be able to happen.”

“I will do my best,” Dumbledore relented, holding his hands up. “Aside from what you might believe, I want Sirius free as much as you do.” Sirius snorted and Hermione raised her eyebrows. 

“I am sorry, Albus, but I have a really hard time believing that. You didn’t even make the effort. You suspected he was innocent and you didn’t give a _shit_ ,” Hermione snarled. Remus put a hand on her shoulder warningly. Hermione shook him off and glared at Dumbledore, “If the odds are not in his favour by the end of the trail, _you_ will testify on Sirius’ behalf. With a Pensive or Veritersirum if you have to. You owe him. He spent twelve years being tortured in Azkaban because a certain Chief Warlock didn’t think to make sure he received a proper, legal trial.”

“I-” Dumbledore looked at Sirius, who’s fists were clenched and shaking. 

“I am positive you know, Dumbledore, that the Chief Warlock has the power to call _any_ criminal to trial from Azkaban, no matter how long he has been there,” Hermione growled, her voice low. 

“What?” Both Sirius and Remus asked, incredulously, staring at the old Headmaster. 

Remus stepped forward, eyes flashing, “You could have pulled him from Azkaban at any time?!”

“Remus, you must understand, that there wasn’t enough evidence for-”

“But you didn’t even try!” Remus snarled, eyes bright and silver. 

Dumbledore’s face was more lined than Hermione had ever seen it, “I know. I apologize, Sirius.”

“Stop!” Hermione snapped, “Make it up to him now.” She glanced back at Sirius, who was facing away from them, shaking. “Thankfully, I think Fudge will be... _inclined_ to keep you as Cheif Warlock until this trial ends, but this still needs to happen as soon as possible.” Hermione stopped talking and stared at Dumbledore for several moments. 

“It will be taken care of,” Albus dipped his head, “Miss Jones.” 

Hermione turned her back and walked up to Floo, lighting the fire with her wand. She handed Remus the powder and he vanished. She turned to Sirius. He was white as a sheet, eyes screwed shut. Her gut clenched, pain for him coursing through her. Wand twitching, she glared over Sirius’ shoulder at Dumbledore. His bright ocean coloured eyes looked sad and Hermione found that it only made her angrier. 

“Come along, love,” Hermione whispered and lead Sirius into the fire and they spun back to Grimmauld Place. Without a word, Sirius stepped from the floo and went up the stairs to the bedrooms. Hermione sighed and sat at the kitchen table, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. Remus came behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. 

“I can’t believe Dumbledore did that to Sirius,” Remus whispered, thumbs rubbing circles on her shoulders. “I can’t believe I didn’t know.”

“No one knew,” Hermione leant back against him, “It’s not like Sirius could tell anyone.”

“Do you think this will work?”

“It has to.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, see, I promised! Two chapters, one day.   
> More coming soon, I pinky promise!

JULY 1st 1995

Hermione stayed awake reading for a few hours with Remus, waiting for Sirius to come downstairs. The two of them curled up on two ends of the couch in the library, feet intertwined. They were both reading books on wizard law. Hermione was sure that Sirius would be let off. Of course, the last leg of the trial would mean that Sirius himself might have to go to the ministry. If he was convicted, he would be sent back to Azkaban immediately. Hopefully, the testimonies of everyone else would free him before that ever happened. 

“I’m going to take one of the spare rooms,” Remus said, sitting up and set his book facedown. “I think I should stay here while the trial is going on.” Hermione nodded at him. He helped her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her. “Goodnight, Hermione. Sleep well.”

“‘Night Remus.”

Hermione walked up the stairs to her room, Sirius’ door closed across the hall. Hermione knocked lightly on it, pressing her ear to the door, but only silence greeted her. She sighed, opening hers. When the lights switched on, she gasped and gripped her wand tightly, startled by the person in the room. But it was just Sirius, curled in up in her bed, shivering. Hermione set her book down on the bedside table and pulled the bottle of firewhiskey from his grasp. He groaned, shivering violently. Tossing the bottle into the chair, Hermione went to the wardrobe and changed into pyjamas. With a flick of her wand, the lights went off and she climbed in beside Sirius. She touched his face and he pulled her closer until he was wrapped around her. Though his body was warm, he still shivered from that unbearable cold. Hermione held him close and slowly the shivers slowed and stopped altogether as they slept tangled up in one another. 

* * *

JULY 2nd 1995

Hermione woke before him, curled in the same position as they had fallen asleep in. His breath was warm on her neck and Hermione couldn’t help the drop in her stomach at their closeness. His hot, hard length was pressed against her leg and she felt a flush creep up her body at the thought. _No_. Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. Sirius didn’t want her in that way, she knew. Or else he would have made some sort of move already. She moved her legs away from his and tried to fall back asleep. Twenty minutes of being too hot and uncomfortable, she just couldn’t make herself relax again. With a sigh, she pulled herself away from him and climbed out of bed. Hermione walked to the bathroom and climbed into the shower, turning the water on _cold._

* * *

 _Bang._ Hermione rushed from the bathroom, hastily wrapping a towel around herself. Sirius was sitting against the wall, scorch marks around his head. The door flew open and Remus stood, wand at the ready. 

“Ow,” Sirius mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. His wand was next to him on the ground, smoking. 

“What did you do?” Remus asked. He cast a look at Hermione and flushed at her nearly naked body. She wrapped the towel tighter around her and stepped towards Sirius. 

“Are you alright?” She looked him over, seeing no obvious wounds. 

“Ugh, I tried to cast with the wrong end of my wand,” Sirius grumbled. Hermione and Remus shared a short glance and burst into laughter. “Yeah, yeah, so funny.” Sirius pulled himself up and leaned against the wall, shaking his head back and forth. Hermione grabbed the post of the bed as she laughed, wet hair tangling around her face. 

“You should take a look at your eyebrows, Pads,” Remus cackled and walked from the room, his laughter echoing as he made his way downstairs. Sirius rolled his eyes and looked Hermione over, leaning against the bed, almost nude. Sirius flushed, and then looked away. He’d never been embarrassed around a woman before in his life, but Hermione was a different thing altogether. Her laughs fell away as he moved closer to her. Their eyes met, and Hermione cast her eyes down, feeling more naked than she already was. Sirius reached up and tucked a wet curl away from her face. She looked up through her lashes and smiled lightly. 

“I’m going to finish getting ready,” Hermione moved away from him and went back to the bathroom, contemplating another cold shower. 

* * *

Sirius watched Hermione walk away and then made his way out of her room and down the stairs to the kitchen. Remus was sitting, reading a book and eating breakfast. He broke into a grin when Sirius entered the room. 

“Shove off, Moony.” Sirius dodged the grape Remus threw at his face. “I’m hungover and tired an-”

“Horny for a certain witch?” Remus smirked at him. 

Sirius mouth fell open in shock for a few moments before he recovered, “No!” Remus stared. “Okay, _maybe_. But did you _see her_ in that towel, Moony? Ridiculous”

Remus sighed, “Yes, I did.” 

“You like her.”

“You like her too,”

They stared at each other for a few moments before swearing. Sirius put his face on the table and groaned. “Damn it, Remus. This is just cruel.”

Remus set his book down and covered his face, “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“You’re perfect for each other. Truly-” Sirius continued before Remus could cut him off, “I mean, you both like all the same things, you even talk the same.”

“You’re _you_ , Padfoot.” Remus frowned, “I mean, your track record speaks for itself. Every woman loves you.”

“Alright, alright. Doesn’t matter. We can’t do anything unless she makes the first move.” Sirius closed his eyes, remembering the story of her torture, “She... she went through a lot and we can’t take the lead on this one.” He sat up and locked eyes with the werewolf. 

“I wasn’t planning on taking any lead.”

“Neither was I.”

“Alright.”

“Alright.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Hermione entered the kitchen and both men jumped to their feet. She paused, looking between them. “Good… morning…?” She asked cautiously. 

“Morning, love,” they both said, wincing as their words came out in unison. 

“Right. Okay,” Hermione went to light the stove to boil the kettle, “You can sit down now.”

“Right,” they said together as they sat. 

Hermione stared at them while she waited for the kettle. They both stared at the table, not making eye contact. 

While pouring water Hermione cleared her throat, “So, the Weasleys get here today. And young me. That will be weird.” She paused but they didn’t say anything. “Okay, so I am going to take this pill now and be Hestia and you both should call me that. Remus and I met while he was abroad and now we’re all best friends and-”

“We know, Hermione,” Sirius finally spoke, “I did write it, you know.” He smiled at her and she stuck her tongue out. 

“I read it over too,” Remus added. “We’re good to go if you are.” Hermione nodded and took the pill. It took a few moments before her body started to transform. Her hair grew down past her hips, her eyes darkened and she grew those few inches. Hermione shook out her hair and smiled at the men sitting at the table. 

“Well?”

“You look great, Hestia,” Sirius said and they both grinned at her. 

“Thank you,” Her voice was deeper, silkier. She didn’t like it. In fact, she was genuinely uncomfortable with it, but it would have to do. Hermione wanted to be involved with everything, and could only do that if she was Hestia. 

Sirius walked up close to her, “It’s going to be okay. Promise.”

“I know,” she sighed and grabbed her tea with slightly larger hands. “I just don’t like it.” She sat down and pulled Remus’ book from him and opened it to the beginning to start reading. Remus only smiled and grabbed a different one from his bag. 

* * *

“Oh, Remus! How good to see you!” Molly ran over to the werewolf and wrapped him in her arms. She patted him on the cheek, “Looking a bit peaky though, dear.”

“This is Hestia Jones,” Sirius said loudly to the Weasleys crowded around the kitchen. All the redheads waved at her and introduced themselves. 

“I can show you all to your rooms,” Remus called from the kitchen door, “Just remember to be quiet in the hallways.” Remus led them all away and Hermione sighed with relief once they were gone. Hermione couldn’t remember ever feeling more overwhelmed by people she loved so much. It was hard seeing so many dead faces in one room. It didn’t help that they were loud and joyful and so full of life. 

Remus reentered the kitchen and closed the door behind him, “They’re all settling in. How are you?” He asked Hermione softly. 

“I’m alright?” She smiled shakily. “I actually think I might sequester myself to the library for a little while. I am feeling a little overwhelmed.”

“Sure, love,” Remus touched her arm gently, smiling as she passed. “Mind if I join you?” She shook her head and turned to look at Sirius. 

“Want to sit with us?” 

“That’s alright,” Sirius gave them a lacklustre smile and turned back to the cupboard with the alcohol in it. “Got other things to do besides read all day.”

“Whatever you say,” Hermione teased, turning to walk with Remus to the library. Immediately, out of the noise of the Weasleys and the tension she knew she alone felt with Sirius, Hermione finally relaxed. With Remus things were easy. They could sit for hours in comfortable silence, reading. They could also talk for those hours, rousing conversations about Magical Laws and ways to make new spells. Taking breaths felt safe, existing felt safe, even though war was brewing slowly but surely. 

Hermione and Remus sat on opposite ends of the sofa, curling up, legs extended on either side of each other. Remus was reading a horrifying book about the dangers of werewolves while Hermione was reading about how to become an Animagus. She had been thinking about going through the process in order to spend full moons with Remus and Sirius. 

The meditation and mandrake leaf could be lethal though if the magic wasn’t in the right state. Remus had been fast to tell her that she was, and always had been, the brightest witch of her age. Her magic, even after years of little to no use, was still powerful, just as powerful as Remus’. That didn’t change her anxiety surrounding the process. Or the anxiety of finding out the animal she would turn into. She hadn’t cast a Patronus in years and hadn’t even an inkling what her Animagus form would be. 

“Hestia, is it?” Ginny Weasley sat down in front of the sofa on the ground. Hermione jumped and turned to look at her. 

“Uh, yes, sorry,” Hermione sat her book down and turned to face her. Remus smiled over the top of his reading. 

“So, what is your deal? Did you go to Hogwarts with Professor Lupin?”

“Please call me Remus, Ginny. I’ve not been your professor for over a year,” Remus said, not looking up from his book. Ginny flushed and nodded. 

“Uh, no, I didn’t. I was homeschooled. My parents travelled quite a lot.” Hermione recited. 

“Cool!” Ginny grinned at her, “So how did you all meet?” 

“I was travelling and so was Remus. We met in France. I was doing some research on werewolves and well, you know.” Hermione smiled over and Remus and placed her hand on his leg. “So he and I started talking and we-”

Ginny squealed, “Are you guys together?” 

“No!” Hermione and Remus said rather loudly, moving away from one another.

“Oh,” Ginny said, crestfallen. She looked between them slowly. 

“No, we are just very good friends.” Hermione glanced at Remus and he was frowning now, trying to go back to reading his book. Hermione unconsciously laid her hand on his knee while she continued to speak to Ginny. Molly and Arthur made their way into the library to sit with them, joining their daughter in quizzing Hermione incessantly about her life. 

“So you just moved in with them?” Ginny asked as Sirius sauntered over to the couch. He nudged Hermione over to the middle and squeezed in, Remus’ legs over both their laps. 

“How could you not want to move in with this?” Sirius teased. Hermione rolled her eyes and tossed her long black hair over her shoulder. The hair slapped him in the face and he nabbed it with his teeth. She pulled on it and he grinned around her hair, eyes sparkling. 

“Let go you arse!” Hermione groaned, pushing his face. 

“Language!” Molly called as she was walking from the room, shaking her head. Hermione figured she'd had enough of the quizzing and wanted to start dinner, “And here I thought there was another adult in this house.” Arthur smiled at them and followed after his wife. 

Sirius grabbed the wet hair from his mouth and shoved it in Hermione’s face. Remus snaked his arm around Hermione and poked Sirius in the ribs. He let out a shriek and jumped away from them, clutching his hands to his sides. Ginny and Hermione burst into laughter, Hermione falling back against Remus’ chest in a fit of giggles. 

“Not funny,” Sirius said in a lower voice than normal. Hermione snickered into her hands as Ginny fell over sideways, cackling. 

“Sirius Black is _ticklish_ ,” Hermione gasped. 

Remus coughed, “ _Very_ ticklish,” He grinned at the glare Sirius was shooting at him. 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> I am SO sorry that it's been so long. I had a plot bunny appear and couldn't get rid of it and had to re-write several of the next chapters. But that's been done so we're all back on track. 
> 
> Thank you again for all the amazing reviews. I'm sorry I don't have the time to respond to all of them, but please know they mean the world to me. 
> 
> <3

July 2nd, 1995

Hermione sat with Remus and Sirius in the library while the rest of the household busied themselves with settling in and getting ready for dinner. A thumping in the hallway made them all sit up to attention, wands in hand. They were all clearly having a hard time adjusting to the house being open to everyone. Alastor Moody threw the door open to the study with a small bang, a grin on his knarled face. 

“Sirius Fucking Black!” He yelled. Upstairs, Hermione heard the portrait of Mrs Black start up her screaming. Moody thumped over and pulled Sirius into an unexpected hug while Remus and Hermione looked on in surprise. 

“Oof!” Sirius returned the embrace stiffly. Just as quickly, Moody released him and walked away.

“Arthur and I are going to get Granger from her Muggle home. When I come back, Black, I expect a stiff fucking drink.” He left the room and Sirius turned to them, dumbstruck. 

“Alastor Moody just hugged you,” Hermione stated, staring at him. 

“When was the last time you saw him, Pads?” Remus asked, trying to hide a smirk. 

Sirius frowned. “Before I was in Ministry custody? My last day on the job. We caught a couple of alleged Death Eaters.” Hermione’s mouth dropped open. 

“You were an Auror!” Remus and Sirius chuckled at her expression. 

“Thanks for the tone of surprise, Granger,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes and flopping back on the sofa. Remus followed suit and Hermione sat in the chair opposite them so she could continue to stare at Sirius. 

“But- you have- I mean- the Black family fortune…” Hermione blushed and looked down. She hadn’t meant to comment on his wealth, but why would he have chosen such a difficult and hard-working job if he wasn’t really required to work? Sirius chuckled again. 

“I didn’t get access to those vaults until my parents both died. And by then I was in Azkaban. My uncle did leave me some money so I bought a flat in Muggle London, but it wasn’t enough to live on forever. Besides, I liked having a job. Kept me busy. Unlike here.” Sirius sneered at the empty library. “I truly did love being an Auror,” he said wistfully. “I was the best of the trainees.” A look of sadness crossed his face and Hermione felt her heart drop. She swore to herself to give him back any life that he wanted. Maybe he’d want to go back to being an Auror once he was cleared.

“Poor Prongs. Merlin, he wished he was you sometimes,” Remus grinned at Sirius who smiled back. 

“What did James do?” Hermione asked gently, not wanting to push either of them to a place where they were uncomfortable or overwhelmed. They both became sullen, even as she backpedalled. “You don’t have to talk about it if you’re uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s alright,” Remus assured her, “James was high up in the Order. Higher than Sirius or I. His parents were huge supporters of the cause before they died. They were older, but gods they had the money to back up their beliefs. They supported the Order almost singlehandedly with contributions. So James was often on missions with them while Sirius was working at the Ministry and I was…” Remus paused and took a deep breath, “Infiltrating the werewolves.” Sirius mumbled something under his breath and glared across the room at no one in particular. “And Lily, well, before she got pregnant with Harry, which a big surprise to us all, you should know, she was training to be Healer.” Hermione smiled at that and wondered if Harry knew. Sirius and Remus had so many stories of James and Lily that Harry deserved to know. She told them so and they both smiled sadly at her. 

“I hope I will get the chance to do that,” Sirius murmured. 

“You will,” Hermione and Remus said together. A comfortable silence fell over them and they sat there together. Hermione and Remus eventually pulling down books to read. Hermione didn’t miss Remus’ hand covering Sirius’ behind their knees. She’d had suspicions about their relationship and whether it had been more than friendship. She cleared her throat just as there was a loud bang and Mrs Black started screaming. 

“Oh, that must be our younger Miss Granger,” Sirius grinned and hopped up and Hermione groaned. She had been dreading this moment. 

Remus smiled at her as Sirius bounded down the stairs, “Are you going to be alright?” She nodded and bumped her shoulder with his. In reality, Hermione didn’t know if she was ready. It would be strange to see her younger self again and have to interact with her as Hestia. Hermione had braided her long, black hair down her back and she tugged on it nervously as they made their way to the kitchen. 

* * *

Remus walked into the kitchen behind Hermione. He smiled politely at the younger version of the woman standing beside him.

“Sirius, Professor,” She smiled at him and Sirius as they sat at the end of the table.

“Hello, Hermione,” Remus nodded at her, “You can call me Remus. As I’ve told your friends, I haven’t been your professor for a few years now,” Young Hermione flushed and nodded quickly. “And this is Hestia Jones,” Remus gestured to Hermione with a smile. Hermione smiled nervously back, though he didn’t think anyone else noticed her anxiety. 

“Nice to meet you,” Both Hermiones said at the same time. Remus chuckled and looked between them as an awkward silence filled the room.

“Oi! Cousin!” Everyone turned as a woman with bright, bubblegum pink hair entered the room. Remus' heart stopped. The wolf roared to life and Remus knew his eyes were immediately a shining silver. He looked down at the table quickly, trying to mask the change in his eyes. As he did, deep pain filled his chest. As soon as he looked back up at the woman, the pain receded and joy overcame him so intensely that tears prickled his eyes. _Mine_. The thought tore through his head as Sirius jumped up to hug the woman. _Mine, mine, mine._ Remus closed his eyes, trying to escape the thoughts invading his head from Moony. But again, the pain filled him and he had to look at her once more to stop it from tearing him apart. She glowed, she shone. Everyone and everything around her seemed dull and dank in comparison. 

“This is Nymphadora Tonks, everyone!” Sirius announced to the room. Nymphadora. The name filled his head like poetry, a song, a promise. _Nymphadora_. He couldn’t think of anything else but the name and the woman it belonged to. 

His heart pounded in his ears as she waved to the room. He wanted to protect her, claim her, _mate with her._ As he thought the words, Remus willed Moony out of his head. He couldn’t possibly mate with this woman. He didn’t even know her. But even as he felt his eyes change back, he couldn’t stop the feeling deep in his magic, in his soul, that this woman was his, forever. 

“Sorry,” He grunted as he stood, “I’m not feeling too well. I’m going to go lie down.” As he tried to leave, Molly stepped in front of him. 

“Feeling poorly, dear? Shall I send up some dinner for you?” Her kind eyes made a lump grow in his throat. 

“That would be lovely, Molly, thank you,” He nodded at the room and walked toward the stairs, rushing when he was out of sight, trying to see through the tears and the agony that pierced him from having to leave her.

 

Remus wanted his mum. He hadn’t wanted his mum in many, many years. The last time he had wanted her this much was after his first transformation at Hogwarts when he was eleven. But he wasn’t eleven anymore and his mother was long dead. He didn’t have anyone to take care of him the way he wanted to be taken care of. 

And still, he wanted his mum. He wanted to tell her about everything he was feeling and how confused and hopeless he felt. Hope Lupin had been a formidable woman. When Remus had been turned at the age of four, she never let him see the grief it brought her. She had loved her son unconditionally until the day she died of Muggle cancer. 

Because she’d been married to a wizard, they had been able to bring Hope to St. Mungo’s as their last effort. But Muggle diseases like cancer didn’t afflict wizards, and they could do nothing to help her. The Healers had taught Remus and his father spells to make her comfortable and then sent her home. And even now, the callous indifference of the Healers infuriated him. There was nothing he could have done then, and nothing he could do now to bring her back and have her hold him.

A _mate_. He had found his mate. There wasn’t much lore on werewolf mates, as the packs were quite cautious about talking to wizards about it, and the Wizarding World classified werewolves as “beings” rather than people so no one cared enough to even do any research about it. All of the books Remus had read continuously slandered werewolves and their very existence. Most didn’t even come close to mentioning mates or werewolf bonds. There were several pairs of mates in the packs Remus had been in. But he hadn’t known- how could he have known- that this is what it felt like to meet your mate? It was like everything else had disappeared and all that had mattered was that she was safe and he was with her. 

So there Remus was, brooding over his dead mother, brooding over his finding of a mate, and brooding over feeling so terribly alone. He couldn’t bear to look at Nymphadora again. It would be too much. The pain of not looking at her was just now starting to fade. Remus jumped at a knock on his door. 

“Come in,” He croaked. He realized now that he’d been crying. Sirius shut the door behind him and sat next to Remus on the bed. Without a word, Sirius wrapped his arms around his best friend. They stayed like that for several moments before Remus finally spoke. 

“Nymphadora is my mate,” He mumbled. Sirius pulled away, holding him by his shoulders. 

“ _What_?!”

“Yeah,” Remus said and then groaned. Sirius grinned at him. 

“That’s amazing, Moony!” Remus started shaking his head, “No, it is! You’ve never thought this would happen, and it has.”

“Padfoot, she’s like ten years younger than me.”

“Thirteen.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake,” Remus moaned and fell back on his bed, covering his face. “What am I supposed to do, Pads?” Remus waited while Sirius sprawled out beside him, “She’s everything to me now. It’s like the sun fucking exploded and now she’s the sun.”

Sirius laughed, “That’s some poetic shit, mate.”

“I know, I know, but that’s how it _feels_. It is ridiculous.” Remus turned on his side to look at Sirius, “I’ll never be the same again. I’m not with her now and it hurts. My heart hurts so much. It’s like my magic, my wolf, feels incomplete now. Fuck, how did I not realize it before? How empty I am?” Sirius stared sadly at him. 

“I dunno, Moony. But you don’t have to be that way. You could talk to Tonks.”

“I _can’t_ , Sirius. She’s young enough to be my… well… I don’t know. Not anything but she’s still too young. I can’t put this on her. I want her to have a choice, have a life. She doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve to be saddled with an old, poor, homeless werewolf. And I-” Sirius covered Remus’ mouth with his hand.

“Moony, stop. First off, you’re not homeless, you live here. You’re not old, mate. You’re thirty-six. You have a lot more years on you. And she would be lucky to be loved by you, Remus.” Sirius pushed Remus’ shoulder and laughed, “You need to get this out of your head.” Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius laughed again. 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Remus grumbled. He knew he was acting like a petulant child, but he didn’t care. The pain in his chest was too much. All he wanted was to forget about it. To stop the deep yearning he felt in his magic and in his heart. He reached out to touch Sirius’ face. The other man let him, but stiffened. 

“Moony,” Sirius murmured, “I don’t want to do this now.” Remus pulled quickly away and sat up. “No, Remus, don’t,” Sirius sat up too and moved close to him. “I just mean… you’ve just found your mate. You need time to process and I don’t think shagging me is going to fix whatever it is your feeling.”

“I thought that-” Remus flushed, “...You don’t want to do it again”

Sirius groaned, running his hands through his dark hair. His head stayed in his hands for several moments. “No,” He finally admitted, “No, I don’t.” Sirius looked up quickly and met Remus’ eyes. “But not because you’ve done anything. We’ve known from the beginning that we’ve done this because we’ve needed someone to be close to, but you’ve found your fucking _mate_ , Moony. You don’t need this anymore. And I…” Sirius’ voice broke, “I don’t think I want to be used to ignore those feelings. Azkaban changed me, and I need time to figure things out, and I don’t think fucking you is going to help that anymore.” Sirius sighed and Remus felt his heart drop. He knew Sirius was right. “Besides, we haven’t in a long time.” Remus thought back to the last time, just after Sirius had shown up to his cottage two days after escaping Hogwarts. He’d been ragged, needy, almost broken. “I think we’ve both got shit to figure out. This wasn’t the healthiest of relationships to start with.”

Remus laughed, “Never thought you’d be the one talking about healthy relationships, Pads.” Remus moved over so Sirius could join him leaning against the headboard. 

“Argh, I know. Hermione’s rubbing off on me.”

“Sirius, about Hermione…” Remus started. He guessed that it was another reason Sirius was breaking off the arrangement they’d had. 

Sirius turned to look at him, “You should shag Hermione.”

“What?!” Remus asked, appalled. Sirius had just pushed him away because he wanted him to figure out this whole mate thing and now he was suggesting he sleep with Hermione? Remus didn’t know if it was some diversion tactic of Sirius’ to get over his feelings for her, or if he was being sincere. 

Sirius nodded, face stern, “I mean it. I know she fancies you. And even if she didn’t, I think you could come to a… similar type of arrangement. It’s likely she knows Tonks is your mate anyway. She’s from the _future,_ Moony.”

“I know very well where she’s from. I also know that she is _also_ a fifteen-year-old girl that is sitting in our kitchen.” Remus bit out.

“Come on, you know they’re completely different people.”

“Stop, Sirius.”

“Moony-”

“I will not entertain this.”

“If you can’t shag me and you won’t shag your mate, might as well find _someone_ to shag.”

“Hermione is her own person and can choose to shag me if she likes, but stop talking about it like it’s a done deal. Besides, _you_ fancy her.”

Remus and Sirius stared at each other for several seconds. Sirius shook his head slowly and moved to get off the bed. 

“Listen to me, Remus,” Sirius cupped either side of Remus’ face, “You are a wonderful man, who will make a wonderful mate. But if you’re determined to torture yourself, you might as well get out some of that frustration. Just talk to Hermione. Of course, I know she can make her own decisions, I’m sorry I said it like I did, but I really do think you should talk to her about it. Or, fuck, pop into some Muggle bars and chat a girl up.”

Remus groaned and shoved Sirius away from him. 

“I’m just saying, Moony. A good shag will do you wonders. And this?” Sirius turned and looked back at him, “Is now off-limits,” Sirius laughed and left the room. 

“Git.”


	18. Chapter 18

JULY 4th 1995

 

The group touched down outside Number 4 Privet Drive. Hermione hopped off her broom, shaking. Flying definitely hadn’t gotten any easier, but she was determined to be there to pick up Harry. The pristine garden was covered with witches and wizards and Hermione grinned at the thought of the Dursley’s seeing their floating brooms and long, dark cloaks.

They entered the house by Muggle means; Mad-Eye picking the back lock, with Sirius watching him very intently. Hermione was surprised he wasn’t taking notes. 

“Very clean these Muggles, aren’t they?” Tonks asked, spinning to face them. She hit a decorative plate off the shelf and it shattered on the floor. Hermione winced and drew her wand, mending the plate quickly. 

“We’re going to scare the shit out of him,” she hissed. They all fell silent, waiting. Harry crept overhead, floorboards creaking. A wand tip came into view. 

“Lower your wand boy, before you take someone’s eye out!” Moody yelled up the stairs. 

“Professor Moody?” Harry called, cautiously. 

“Dunno much about Professor-” Moody glanced back at the group and chuckled. “Get down here, we want to see you properly.” Harry didn’t move. Hermione smiled. He was wise not to trust Moody after the year he’d had. Hermione nudged Remus in the ribs. He jumped and rubbed his side.

“It’s alright, Harry,” Remus called up to him, “We’ve come to take you away.” Harry sucked in a sharp breath and lowered his wand slightly.

“Prof-R-Remus?” Harry stuttered, hopefully, “Is that you?”

“Why are we standing in the dark?” Hermione asked the room, raising her wand and wordlessly lighting the tip. Harry blinked at the sudden light and found Remus’ eyes and grinned.

“Ooooh,” Tonks cooed, “He looks just like I thought he would!” Her hair grew a brighter shade of purple, “Wotcher, Harry!”

“I see what you mean, Remus,” Kinglsey drawled from the back of the room, “Looks exactly like James.” Hermione saw Remus’ slight wince. 

“Except the eyes,” Sirius murmured, coming around the corner behind Hermione, “Lily’s eyes.”

“Sirius!” Harry spotted his godfather and his eyes lit up. He moved to run down the stairs when Moody held up his hand. 

“Are we quite sure it’s him?” Moody growled, “I would be a pisspoor lookout if we brought bac-”

“Harry,” Remus interrupted, “ What form does your Patronus take?”

“A stag”

“That’s him,” Sirius and Remus said together. Harry ran down the stairs and flew at Sirius, who caught him and wrapped him tight. Hermione’s breath caught and she grabbed Remus’ arm tightly. He covered her hand with his own and moved his thumb over her knuckles lightly. She gave him a watery smile and relished in the comfort for a few moments before dropping her hand. 

“How are you?” Remus asked as Harry pulled away from Sirius.

“F-fine.” Harry glanced around at the people surrounding him. “I-I’m-you’re lucky the Dursley’s are out.”

“Ha!” Tonks giggled, “Lucky. It was us that lured them away.”

Sirius snorted, “Lawn competition my arse.” 

Harry grinned up at him. “We are… leaving aren’t we?” He eyed Sirius and Remus, “Soon?”

“Yes,” Sirius grinned back.

“Almost at once,” Remus smiled, “just have to wait for the all-clear.”

“Where are we going?” Harry glanced around at all the wizards, “The Burrow?”

“No, not the Burrow,” Remus said as he lead the way to the kitchen. 

“Too risky,” Hermione said, pulling herself up to sit next to the toaster on the counter. 

“We’ve set up headquarters elsewhere,” Sirius grinned at Harry, throwing an arm around his shoulders. Remus introduced the gaggle of wizards sitting in the kitchen.

“ _Don’t_ call me Nymphadora, Remus!” Tonks said as she was introduced, shaking her now-red hair. Hermione saw Remus take in a shuddering breath as Tonks said his name, though she didn't think anyone else noticed.

Hermione waved shyly at Harry as she was introduced as Hestia, “A lot of us volunteered to see you,” She said with a smile. 

“Look-” Harry turned to Sirius, “What’s going on? I haven’t heard anything about Vold-”

“Shh!” every person in the room hushed Harry. 

“We can’t discuss anything here,” Hermione told him kindly, “It’s too risky. Just wait a while and we’ll tell you everything.” She smiled at him again and he smiled awkwardly back. Suddenly, Moody cursed violently as his eye popped from his socket.

“You know that’s disgusting,” Tonks said nonchalantly, “Don’t you?”

“Get me a glass of water, would you Harry?” Moody said, holding the spinning eye. “Cheers,” he said, dropping the eye in the cup. Hermione couldn’t stop her incessant staring at her best friend. Thankfully every other adult was staring at him too. 

“So how are we getting -you-know-”

“Brooms!” Sirius grinned. 

“Is that safe for you, Sirius?” Harry asked. Sirius shook his head with a smile. 

“Loads to tell you, Harry!” Sirius laughed, “Just wait.”

Kingsley cleared his throat, “Remus says you’re a good flier,” his deep voice loud in the quiet house. 

“He’s excellent!” Sirius and Remus said in unison. 

“Anyway,” Remus continued, “You should get packed, Harry-”

“I’ll help!” Hermione said quickly, catching Tonks before she could offer. Hermione jumped off the countertop and followed him through the hall. “Bit terrible these Muggles, yeah?” Hermione asked, in what she hoped was an easy voice. 

“That’s an understatement,” Harry muttered as they reached the landing. 

“What does that mean?” Hermione asked, leaning on the doorframe as Harry hastily started stuffing everything he owned into the trunk that was open in the middle of the room. 

Harry shrugged, “Well-they just-” Harry glanced around his barren room. “They don’t treat me great, I guess.” He dug his big toe into the floor and blushed. Hermione stood up straighter and watched Harry closely. “They kind of… lock me up. But I guess you all know that.”

“Yeah,” Hermione said softly, “We. do.”

“They also… sometimes…” Harry glanced at the small pile of dishes, “Don’t really feed me.” Harry muttered, rubbing the back of his head, wincing. Hermione sighed, noting the pain on his face. Hermione knew he must be recovering from an injury from one of his uncle’s beatings.

“I am sorry that you’ve had to live that way, Harry.” Hermione could hardly stop herself from announcing that he would never be back to this house or in this room. 

“S’okay,” Harry dropped the book he was holding in his trunk. 

“Right!” Hermione blinked, remembering herself, “We’ve got to keep packing! Here, it’ll be much faster if I do it.” Hermione waved her wand and everything in the room packed itself neatly into the trunk. 

“Wow, thanks!” Harry smiled as Hermione cleaned Hedwig’s cage. 

“Alright, ready? You got your wand? Broom?” Harry nodded. “Okay, we’re off!” Hermione waved her wand again, “ _Locomotor Trunk!_ ” Harry trunk floated in front of them as they walked down the stairs. 

 

Back in the kitchen, Tonks and Dedalus Diggle were searching through the Muggle’s cupboards. 

“Alright!” Remus smiled as they came into the kitchen, “Let’s head into the garden. Harry, I have left your aunt and uncle a letter telling them not to worry-”

“They won’t,” Harry and Sirius said together. Remus smiled but said nothing. 

“Come here!” Moody grabbed Harry by the shoulder and he flinched away. The room froze as Harry gripped his wand, knuckles white. 

“Harry,” Hermione murmured as he took a few gasping breaths, “It’s okay. He just has to Disillusion you. It blends you into your surroundings. An invisibility cloak won’t stay on while we’re flying.”

“Right-” Harry said, still shaking. 

“Alastor is going to tap you on the top of your head, okay?” Hermione asked, shooting Moody a look as he started to move. The older wizard waited. Harry glanced at Remus and Sirius and then nodded. 

“Okay,” he said, nodding again at Hermione. She gestured for Moody to continue. Harry winced as Moody hit him hard on the top of the head. 

“Nice one, Mad-Eye,” Tonks said, admiring Moody’s charm. 

“Come on,” Sirius said to the room, flicking his wand so the back door opened. The group left the kitchen and stepped into the garden. Moody explained the plan to Harry while everyone else mounted their brooms. 

“Get ready!” Remus yelled, “First signal!” He pointed at the red sparks. Hermione begrudgingly mounted her broom and stared at the sky. Sirius grinned across the garden to Harry.

“Second!” 

“Let’s go!” yelled Sirius, pushing off. Hermione swore and followed after the group, taking up the rear of the group with Remus. Hermione couldn’t hear Moody’s directions, but followed the group, gripping her broom tight. 

“Time to start the descent!” Remus called from the back of the group. “Keep following Tonks, Harry!”

They all swooped lower, following Tonks’ steep dive. Thankfully, they landed quickly in the courtyard in front of Number 12. 

“Where-” Harry started, but fell silent when they all shushed him. 

“Come along, Harry,” Hermione said, taking Harry’s arm. They walked towards the door as Moody clicked out all of the lights. In front of Grimmauld Place, Remus stepped up to Harry and whispered quietly in his ear. Harry gasped and they all smiled as the house came into his view. 

“Come on,” Sirius let the way in, tapping the door with his wand. They all filed in quickly and closed the door fast behind them. 

“Here,” Hermione lightly tapped Harry’s head and lifted the charm. Harry was safe, at Number 12. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief, grateful to finally have him under Sirius’ roof. Harry looked around, confused and Hermione desperately wished she could comfort him. She wished he knew who she was and could trust her the way she knew he trusted her younger self. 

“Let’s all go down to the kitchen,” Remus whispered, “They’re waiting for us.” Tonks set the trunk by the stairs as they all made their way down. 

“Oh, Harry!” Mrs Weasley called, standing from the table, “Lovely to see you, you’re looking a bit peaky. You’ll have to wait until dinner, the meeting is just for Order members-”

“Enough, Molly!” Sirius snapped, “We’ve already talked about this.” Hermione stepped up behind Sirius and tried not to glare at Molly. 

“I just don’t-”

“Molly,” Albus Dumbledore said softly from the table, “Sirius is right.” Molly huffed and stalked over to the stove and began conjuring ingredients. 

“Now, what would you like to know, Harry?” Remus asked. Hermione, Sirius, and Remus decided that in the presence of other Order members they would let Harry ask the questions, rather than laying out everything they knew. The trio planned to do _that_ in private. 

“Where’s Voldemort? Harry asked, looking around at all the shudders, “What’s he doing? Remus said ‘Order of the Phoenix’? What is that?” There’s been no Muggle deaths or-”

“There haven’t been any suspicious deaths yet,” Sirius told him, sliding over a cold butterbeer, “Not as far as we know, anyway. And we know quite a lot.”

Remus chuckled, “More than he thinks we do anyway.”

“Well- how come- he’s-”

“He’s stopped killing people?” Hermione finished.

Harry nodded, “Yeah.”

“He doesn’t want to draw attention to himself,” said Sirius, “It would be dangerous for him. He didn’t really come back in the way he would have liked. He messed up.” 

“Well,” Remus grinned, “You messed it up.”

“Me? How?”

“You weren’t supposed to survive!” Hermione blurted. Harry flushed and his face fell. 

Sirius nodded, “Nobody apart from his Death Eaters were supposed to know. But you survived.”

“And!” Remus said, hitting his hand softly on the table, “The last person he wanted to know was Dumbledore.”

“And you made sure I knew at once,” Dumbledore smiled down the table at him. 

“How has that helped?” Harry looked around at them all. 

“Are you kidding?” Bill Weasley exclaimed. 

“Because, Harry,” Albus murmured, “We were able to get the Order of the Phoenix back together to fight against Voldemort once more.”

“So….” Harry rubbed the back of his head, “What has the Order been _doing_?” 

“Well,” said Sirius, “Trying to make sure Voldemort can’t carry out any of his plans.”

“You know what he’s planning?” 

“Yes, he-”

“Enough!” Molly said. The room turned to stare at her. “He is a _boy_ , he doesn’t need to know anything, as someone who has Harry’s best interests at heart-”

“What?” Hermione bit out. Remus put a hand on her leg under the table.

“He’s not your son,” Sirius said, calmly. 

“He’s as good as!” hissed Molly, “Who else has he got?”

“He’s got me!”

“Yes, see, the thing is,” Molly snarled, maliciously, “It’s been rather difficult for you to look after him while you’ve been locked up in Azkaban, hasn’t it?”

The room gasped collectively. Hermione and Sirius rose. How _dare_ she. Hermione clenched her fists, trying not to throw herself across the table at Molly. 

“Molly,” Remus snapped, “You aren’t the only person who cares about Harry. There is a whole room here of people that do. Both of you, _sit down_ ,” He said to Hermione and Sirius, pulling them down to their seats. The room fell silent as Molly looked around desperately for help. When no one spoke up, she turned her back on the room again. 

Hermione cleared her throat, “Voldemort wants to build up an army.”

“Last time,” said Remus, “He had huge numbers at his command.”

“So you’re trying to stop him from gaining followers?” Harry asked, “How?”

“We’re trying to convince as many people that we can that he’s back,” Tonks said, hair turning a deep, violent red. 

“The Ministry isn’t too happy with anyone having that stance, though,” Mr Weasley said, shaking his head. 

“Well, you heard Fudge at the hospital wing.” Sirius said darkly, “It’s been tricky.”

“But you’re telling people?”

“We have some time,” Hermione told him, “Not loads of course, but it’s only been two weeks.”

“It’s not exactly just telling people, either,” Bill said, “We have to _convince_ them.”

Hermione sighed, “We expect things to get much worse before they get better. But they _will_ get better.” 

“If-if-” Harry stuttered, eyes scanning the room quickly, “If Voldemort is trying to recruit then it’s bound to get out that he’s back.”

“He doesn’t go around banging on their doors, Harry,” Sirius smiled without humour, “He manipulates and blackmails. He knows how to operate in secrecy. In any case, he has other plans too.”

“What else? Besides followers?” Harry asked. Hermione, Remus, and Sirius shared a look. They planned to tell Harry the secret of the prophecy in private but were still trying to keep it quiet from the rest of the Order. The Order knew Death Eaters were patrolling the corridor to the Department of Mysteries, but no one had discovered what Voldemort was looking for. 

“A weapon. Something he didn’t have last time,” Sirius said, staring at Hermione. 

“Something worse than _Avada Kedavra_?”

“Y-”

“Enough!” Molly shouted, slamming her wand down, sparks shooting from the end.

“Molly-” Dumbledore spoke for the first time in several minutes, “You know as well as I that Sirius is Harry’s guardian now and he has made his decision.”

“Well!” She huffed, “Then he can do it alone in his home with his _son_ ,” She snarled the last word. “And not around me.” She stormed from the room.

“I-what?” Harry stared at Sirius, puzzled, “Son? Guardian?”

“We best be off, loves,” Tonks stood quickly, and the rest of the room followed. “Goodnight everyone, Wotcher, Harry.” Everyone but Sirius, Remus, Hermione, and Dumbledore shuffled from the room. 

“What is going on?” Harry stared at Sirius, “Professor Dumbledore said, guardian? Does that mean…?” 

“Yes,” Sirius  told him quietly, “Barring any complications, it means you can live here, with me, when you’re not at school,” Sirius paused, “If you would like.”

“This is your house?”

“Ah, yeah, did we forget to mention that?” Sirius nodded grimly, “It’s a bit of a dump, but it’s here if you want it. Hestia has been making great impro-”

“Are you joking?” Harry looked at them all in turn. 

“No Harry, not joking,” Sirius said and then fell silent. They all waited.

“Of _course_ I want to live with you!” He exclaimed, a grin spreading across his face. Hermione exhaled a sigh of relief. Sirius stared at his godson and his lips began to tremble. 

“That’s wonderful, Harry!” Remus said, patting his best friend on the back. Sirius swiped his arm across his face. 

“But how? How is this allowed? Is the Ministry letting you do this?”

“Yes,” Hermione began to explain, “Sirius is going to have a trial. He never received one when he was sent to Azkaban and that’s illegal. It was brought to Fudge’s attention several times that his predecessor didn’t give him a trial and Fudge never acted on it. We have several eyewitness memories, including yours if you’ll give it to us.”

“Of course!” Harry said, excitedly. 

“We’ve also… convinced Fudge that if he doesn’t give Sirius a completely fair trial, everyone will know about his mistakes of the past 13 years,” Remus smiled, “Before the trial, Sirius is out on a bond.”

“So… at least for right now…” Harry whispered, “You’re…”

“Free,” Sirius finished, “For right now.” Harry lept from his chair and wrapped his arms around his godfather, eyes screwed shut. Sirius held him for a long moment. Hermione watched them, wiping her face and squeezing Remus’ hand under the table. It filled her with such joy, so see her young best friend in the embrace of someone who would keep him safe. 

“I will be going now,” Dumbledore said in a strange voice and left the room before anyone could say anything. Harry turned to look at the door that closed behind Dumbledore, a frown on his face. 

“And-” Sirius said, pulling back Harry by the shoulders, “Remus and Hestia have been living here full time.”

“But we can always leave your home if you prefer, Harry,” Hermione said, grinning broadly at him, though her heart beat fast at the thought of leaving Sirius, Remus, and Harry. 

“Of course you should stay!” Harry said, shrugging his shoulders and letting Sirius hug him again. “ _Our_ home.”

“Our home,” Sirius repeated, “All of ours,” He glanced over at Remus and Hermione. They both grinned widely at him through their tears.


End file.
